The Bold & The Beautiful Update Wednesday 3/13/02

By Matthew

Well today’s the last day of recapping before break (for me) and also before B&B’s 15th anniversary which would be March 23rd, 2002, but that’s a Saturday so maybe I’ll celebrate (any excuse to drink) on Monday the 25th when I get back!

Well today’s show cracked me up for a number of reasons. First, all the lewd comments and actions from Whip. This guy offers such comic relief on an otherwise melodramatic show. Today’s show also cracked me up because I have gotten about 5 hrs of sleep since Sunday, so it doesn’t take much. Friday is almost here…Friday is almost here..

Brooke tells Whip she’ll make him a drink, but only a small one because he isn’t staying. He gets all nice with her and offers to give her a foot massage. You know pregnant women have so much weight on their feet and all. Yeah, same stuff all over again like last week with Amber and Rick. By the way are they home? Brooke heard me ask that and tells Whip not to worry, because they aren’t there. Anyway Brooke says she can’t figure Whip out because one minute he is a big ol’ ass and making her crazy while another minute he is so caring for her. I don’t think Whip can take a compliment without being a smartass. He goes on to say that he’ll continue to care for her and slips in that they’ll have sex. Brooke’s like “Whoa, hold on partner!” No way, no how! Then, after the theme-here’s the lewd act-Whip moves Brooke’s foot from his knee to his crotch. Then, this is so funny; she asks him if there is something in his pocket. He says there isn’t and Brooke puts two and two together. She is horrified and repulsed and jumps away from him. Whip explains that he is oh so horny. Snicker. There’s nothing quite like Bradley Bell tackling the tough subject of erections. Well I think that is just about every one of us guy’s problem. Anyway, Brooke says that his horniness isn’t her problem so he should go get a hooker, an upscale hooker (escort), or rent a video. Dude, the Internet is here for you! Also, Brooke starts to say she isn’t in to sex anymore. If she were smart she’d give it up. It always messes up something in her life. Whip’s like you aren’t fooling me, you like sex a lot because you’re Brooke Logan. Those two things go hand in hand. Brooke admits it isn’t sex that repulses her but Whip. Whip thinks the real story is with Deacon. She’s saving herself for him. Brooke tries to shake him off, but hey we all know the truth.

Deacon stares at Brooke’s picture and looks like he wants to eat her. Yeah, that’ll get you in the mood for sex with her daughter. Bridget comes out in her sexy lingerie and to give Deacon credit he does try and go at it with her, but unfortunately he is all screwed in the head and can’t act very well. As soon, and I mean instantaneously after the phone rings he springs back from her and uses that as an excuse to get up. It’s a telemarketer, calling obviously way too late. I thought they couldn’t call after 9, but I got a call at 9:50 one evening. Oh was I pissed. I asked the lady what time it was where she was. It was only 6:50 there. I told her she was an idiot for not knowing what time zone she was calling. I’m getting to the point where I’m thinking of getting caller id. Oh yeah, the recap, anyway Deacon gets ticked off with the guy (who’s calling to ask if Deacon wants to refinance his loan or house or mortgage, but does Deacon have any of that?) and slams the receiver down. Bridget is angrier with him for jumping away from her. She doesn’t know what she has to do to get his attention. She has done all she can, but doesn’t know what to do anymore. Deacon doesn’t have much to say for himself, accept that it could have been Brooke on the phone. Smooth move ex-lax, she’s going to figure out all this soon, especially if you keep dropping hints like that. Deacon still insists that Whip is not trustworthy and is worried about Brooke. Well, Bridget doesn’t see why he thinks Whip is so bad. He’s a drastic improvement over the other men she was involved with. Okay, Bridget, let’s just insult all the males in your family, but she’s right anyway. She then makes the mistake of saying that she thinks that Whip and Brooke are having hot sex right now. Whew. Well, Deacon goes ballistic and tells her he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Bridget is still totally lost and wants to know what the hell is going on. Jealousy baby! Come on Bridget; figure it out before I end up on Social Security.

Deacon calls Brooke and asks her if Whip is up to anything. No, he isn’t and calling was a mistake. He needs to be taking care of his wife. Speaking of Bridget, where is she? Anyway, he tells her how Bridget thinks he is shutting her out emotionally and physically. Brooke kind of gives him the cold shoulder and tells him empathetically to make Bridget his number one priority and to get over her (Brooke) because she is moving on with her life. Deacon’s stunned at this revelation. Brooke hangs up and whispers that she still loves Deacon. Was there ever any doubt? By the way Whip is there through all this.

Deacon’s getting liquored up now. How appropriate. Bridget comes back and apologizes for the way she acted. Why is she apologizing? Her arguments were just. It’s obvious Deacon is somewhere else. Anyway, just then, Deacon gets this horny look in his eyes and rips off his shirts and just about swallows Bridget’s face. Wow. Then, they have some “hot sex” and Bridget later even takes a puff of his after sex cigarette. She tells him how wonderful he was to which he replies he is making her his top priority from now on. Okay…I tell ya people blow with the wind here.

Whip tells Brooke he’s proud of her for doing the right thing. Yeah, yeah. Brooke says she loves Deacon more and more each day, but Whip can’t understand the logic. The way Deacon dresses is depressing (all black, i.e. “mortician”.) Thank you writers for noticing what I have since he came on this show. At least on the opening theme he has a few shirts other than black, though his picture gets about a nano-second on the air. Also, Deacon has the nasty habit of smoking. Yeah, that can be tough on the whole kissing thing. Brooke says that Deacon has a lot of “under the surface” traits that he doesn’t see. He’s kind, generous, and loving. Okay, only to women who he loves. He’s a jerk to everyone else or at least a smartass. Whip says he has all those good traits (including the smartass one too, right?). He kisses Brooke on the forehead and leaves saying he’s happy with their progress tonight.

One funny note on email programs. I sent an incomplete version of this recap to the site with Eudora and after I sent it, Eudora said that my letter might offend the average person and that I should tone it down a little. I about died from laughter in the computer lab. Okay, I’ll try and tone things down after the break…

All right everybody, have a good 12 days! See you in Spring!

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