Port Charles Transcript Thursday 3/22/01

By John
Proofread by Beth

Alison: This really bothers you, doesn't it?

Livvie: What?

Alison: You know, Jack and "Leather Slut."

Livvie: Hmm. I could not care less about that. Hanging out with some kind of motorcycle mama seems to make sense for a guy like Jack. And he's going to have more in common with her than he's ever had with me.

Alison: Look, Livvie, why don't you tell me another bedtime story I can believe, all right? Look, I saw you guys getting all cozy again, remember? The opening at the bike shop?

Livvie: You know what? It does not matter now, so --

Alison: Oh, it doesn't?

Livvie: Not to Jack. He seems to think that every time --

Alison: Ow! Ow!

Livvie: We start getting close, I put up some kind of a wall.

Alison: Well, do you?

Livvie: Well, maybe if I do, I've got a really good reason for it. Maybe I am just trying to keep Jack from being a part of my life for my own good.

Sam: Recover from our ride yet, Jackie boy?

Jack: Hey, Sam, how you doing?

Sam: Hey. Ready for another spin whenever you are.

Jack: Well, it looks like you've already got company.

Sam: Who, them? Potential customers. I told them about your shop and they wanted to check it out.

Man: Not bad.

Jamal: Check it out.

Jack: Sam, this is my buddy, Jamal. He kind of runs this whole joint.

Man: Jamal.

Jamal: Zach.

Sam: Hey, you two know each other?

Zach: It's been a long time, man.

Jamal: Yeah, not long enough. What are you doing here?

Zach: Nothing, just sniffing around. Sam's part of my crew. She said something about a new shop in town. I heard the name, figured now how could there be two Jamals into bikes around here? Glad you're back in the game.

Jamal: I'm not in the game. I'm in the repair business.

Zach: Oh, and everybody knows you're the fastest thing on wheels. Nobody just walks away when they can race like that. Who are you kidding?

[Doorbell rings]

Chris: All right, all right, I'm coming! My --

Eve: Well, it's about time. Out of my way, Ramsey.

Chris: Oh, I see. You call, say you're looking for some action, and suddenly I'm supposed to -- we're just going to be buddies again, is that it?

Eve: Yep. Got ice?

Chris: Yeah, freezer.

Eve: Thank you.

Chris: Wait a minute. What makes you think that I'm just going to welcome you back with open arms?

Eve: Because it's been a long time since you've had a really, really good martini.

Chris: Hey, what's going on? I mean, what are you doing?

Eve: Wrong question, Ramsey. The question should be, what are we doing?

Chris: Fine. What are we doing?

Eve: We are getting really drunk -- really, really drunk.

Arianna: Oh, wait. Here, let me do that for you. You sit, I'll bring you your drink, and some food if you're hungry.

Ian: I'm not hungry, and I pour my own whiskey. Ahem.

Arianna: I'm sorry. I know this isn't easy.

Ian: What isn't easy, Arianna? What is --

Arianna: I hope you don't mind me talking to Eve.

Ian: I -- I'd rather not talk about that, all right? You know, I -- I don't want to talk at all. Is that ok?

[Knock on door]

Arianna: I'll get it.

Ian: I got it. I'm already up.

Marika: Good evening, doctor.

Ian: Well, well, well. Here I thought with a new president, maybe you'd get the evening off.

Marika: This isn't a bad time, is it?

Ian: Matter of fact, we've both had a long day. Maybe we can do this some other time.

Marika: Uh -- sorry, but this can't wait.

Ian: What is it?

Marika: Because of professional documentation we've just received, it's all here -- field reports, transportation records.

Ian: What's all this about?

Marika: You took a professional trip to a place called Tirama Island recently. Is that correct?

Ian: Yeah. What of it?

Marika: You weren't engaged in professional business at all. From what I can see there, you spent all of your time on that island with Eve Lambert. Isn't that the case, doctor?

Eve: Here's to the times we used to destroy our brain cells eight nights a week.

Chris: Mm-hmm. To the bad old days.

Eve: Mm-hmm. Yeah, to the days when everyone hated us and we hated them right back.

Chris: Ah, well, nothing's changed for me. I mean, you're the turncoat. You're one of the good guys now.

Eve: Don't rub it in. Gosh -- you know, there's something to be said for not giving a you-know-what about anybody else. I used to fight for what I wanted and take it. And now, I'm just -- I --

Chris: You take it.

Eve: Hey, I don't roll over for anyone. That's not my style.

Chris: Well, it never was -- of course, that's before Dr. Riverdance took a wife, right? And don't give me that look. Ok? I mean, isn't this the drink-fest in honor of the happy couple?

Eve: Congratulations. You win yourself a refill. You know, it wouldn't be so bad if -- if I didn't like her so much, you know, if I didn't understand where she was coming from. We are in love with the same guy.

Chris: So? What, that makes you sisters?

Eve: No. I'm just saying that she went through hell to get here, you know? She really -- she left her whole life behind --

Chris: Yeah.

Eve: Everything she ever knew.

Chris: Ooh. How courageous.

Eve: Yeah. Well, now she is as needy as she is brave. Ian is the only human being on the face of this earth that she trusts. And she's not going to let him go.

Chris: Never fall in love, Eve. That's always been my advice.

Eve: You did.

Chris: Yeah, but I learned my lesson.

Eve: Does that mean Livvie's safe? Oh, good. Whew. Aha.

Chris: I wouldn't go that far, but I -- look, I know you don't approve.

Eve: Bingo!

Chris: I'll live, and so will she. And she'll learn a lot of things along the way.

Eve: And she'll never break your heart.

Chris: Our minds come protected. But our hearts -- see, they need a hand. I keep mine in a lock box, which keeps me from --

Eve: Ending up just like me.

Chris: Exactly.

Eve: Ha.

Chris: Been there, done that. I'm never going back -- never, ever, ever.

Eve: Ah.

Ian: It seems to me like you don't have all the information. I was there on professional business. I've been treating the islanders for years. And, yes, Dr. Lambert was there. But she wasn't there with me.

Marika: Is that right?

Ian: Eve was there on a holiday. And while she was there, a young child got very sick. Now, the child's father happens to be a very good friend of mine, so he called me to see if I could come out and help the boy. But by the time I got there, Eve had taken care of it.

Marika: Convenient.

Ian: Hmm. I don't think "convenient" is the right word here because Eve got sick herself. It was touch and go for a while. But I can tell you this -- when I got to the island, I didn't know that she was going to be there.

Marika: And you knew all about this.

Arianna: My husband and I don't keep any secrets.

Marika: Or travel together, Mrs. Thornhart? Why not go along?

Ian: And, what -- take a chance of you letting her back in the country? I don't think so.

Marika: The last time you were asked a few questions about your wife, you weren't so smooth, doctor.

Ian: Why don't you ask me now. Ask me anything.

Marika: Is your wife a good cook?

Ian: She's all right. But I do all the cooking around here. I like for her to relax.

Marika: And how does she relax?

Ian: She likes to go for walks. Likes animals and trees and things, you know?

Marika: But she's from the city.

Ian: And for the first time in her life, she can walk around without being afraid. And maybe one day we can walk around without having INS agents looking over our shoulder. But we still have a good time, don't we? Hey. We have a scrapbook. We take pictures of everything. Let's see. Got pictures of the zoo and this little restaurant here and the park.

Marika: I don't see very many pictures of Arianna.

Ian: Well, she likes to take pictures more than be in them, which is funny because she looks like a runway model.

Arianna: Ian, please.

Ian: Am I embarrassing you?

Marika: I've heard plenty for one night.

Ian: Now, why don't you stay? Why don't you stay for dinner? I'd love to talk about my wife all night if I can.

Marika: I think that's enough for now, doctor.

Ian: All right, then. Good night. I -- I'm sorry about earlier. It's been a long day.

Marika: For me, too. You'll be hearing from me.

Arianna: Goodnight.

Marika: Goodnight.

Arianna: That was quite the performance.

Ian: Yeah, huh?

Arianna: I believed every word. Especially the part about Eve almost dying. Of course, I had no idea Eve was there.

Ian: Well, she was. Sorry.

Arianna: No, don't apologize, and especially after what you just did. You saved my life again.

Ian: Oh, that's exaggerating it a bit, isn't it?

Arianna: Not much. I'm amazed. You learned so much about me in such a short time. How?

Ian: It's easy with a crib sheet.

Arianna: A what?

Ian: Let me show you. They're note cards. I write things down here. There.

Arianna: This is all about me -- things I like, don't like.

Ian: Yeah, after the last meeting with the INS, I thought maybe I should memorize some stuff.

Arianna: Memorize?

Ian: This system got me through med school. You know, I make a list, alphabetize it, and then -- well, like here. You know, I talk about the foods you like --

Arianna: Oh, just stop! Please! God.

Ian: What? What is it now?

Arianna: I don't need a list! What you like, don't like -- I know by heart! You need this paper to remind you of the color of my eyes. I'm -- I'm such a fool. God, I'm such a fool!

Zach: Come on, man. You're the best there was. In one race you'll make more than you would in a month at just fixing these broken-down crates.

Jamal: Yeah, yeah, you may be right.

Zach: Turn your back on a pocket full of presidents? Give me one reason.

Jamal: Ain't none of your business. Speaking of business, I got lots to do around here.

Zach: That how you talk to a friend?

Jamal: Not old friends. See you.

Zach: Come on, guys, let's make noise. This hole ain't worth the trouble it took to park. Sam, yo.

Sam: You go. I'll catch up. Got a bathroom?

Jamal: Over there.

Zach: See you around, huh, Jamal?

Jamal: Don't count on it.

Jack: Hell, man, so what was that all about? Who were those guys?

Jamal: Just some people I used to know, man. Just leave it alone, Jack, will you?

Jack: Oh, yeah, I would, but my new best friend is best friends with them, so you might want to clue me in.

Jamal: Look, here's your clue -- if that lady in leather's a friend of that bunch right there, you make a hard left and you don't look back.

Jack: Hey, Sam. My buddy here says that you might be some kind of trouble from the company you keep. Is that true?

Sam: Well, I couldn't say, Jack. You tell me.

Sam: What do you think?

Livvie: Look, I made my decision. I am tired of being hurt.

Alison: And you think that Jack's going to hurt you?

Livvie: Yeah, he would if I gave him a chance to, so I'm choosing Chris. He's someone I really feel I can count on, and that is important to me.

Alison: Well, I'm not saying that that's not important, but if you think that it should be at the top of your list, then you're so wrong -- and so is choosing a guy just because you think that he's not going to hurt you.

Livvie: You want to know something, Alison? I don't care what you think -- you or anyone else. My dad tells me to follow my heart -- so do you -- and every time I do, I just end up feeling so --

Alison: What?

Livvie: So lousy, that's what, and I've had enough of this feeling to last me a lifetime.

Chris: Hey!

Eve: Come on, truth time.

Chris: All right, fine, truth time.

Eve: All right.

Chris: Cross my heart.

Eve: Ok. You don't have a heart. It's locked up in your icebox. No, lockbox. That's right. Hey, does that work for you?

Chris: Yeah.

Eve: Really? But that must be tough -- I mean, not ever letting anyone know how you feel. Livvie doesn't even know how you feel. I'll bet you haven't even shared your hopes and your dreams with her.

Chris: Oh, come on, why would I?

Eve: Hmm?

Chris: She'd have to stop singing my praises just to listen.

Eve: That's right, and then she'd find out that you had flaws, too.

Chris: Hmm, exactly.

Eve: Mm-hmm. You haven't slept with her yet, have you? Oh! Oh, thank goodness because you are all wrong for her.

Chris: You know something? You've always had a way of nailing me.

Eve: But not tonight, ok? I'll tell you what -- I got an idea, got a proposition for you -- you be misery and I'll be company, ok, and we'll cry in our beers together.

Chris: Well, we're drinking martinis.

Eve: So we'll laugh in our martinis. No crying, ok? What do you say? What do you say?

Chris: I say you are a beautiful and truly amazing woman.

Eve: Yes, I am. Thank you. Thank you very much. And that deserves another refill.

Chris: Absolutely. Here.

Eve: I got it. Oh. Ok. I got one more.

Chris: Ok. Next question.

Eve: Ok, what's the question?

Chris: How come we've never gotten together?

Eve: What?

Chris: I said, how come we've not gotten together?

Jack: Sound good to you?

Sam: You buying?

Jack: Yeah, wish I could.

Sam: Well, lucky I can. And lucky you can pay me back after dinner.

Jamal: Yo, Jack, can I haunt you for a second -- now?

Jack: Excuse me for one second. What's up, man?

Jamal: Look, check this out -- you make time for whoever you want, ok, but if it's her and her friends start hanging out here, we got a problem.

Jack: Why's that?

Jamal: Look, never mind why. Look, I'm asking you, do what you got to do, ok. Just don't let Alison find out. And I mean anything that happened here tonight.

Jack: All right, man.

Alison: Hi, guys! Oh.

Jamal: Hey, baby. What's happening?

Alison: Not a whole lot. So, what did I miss around here?

Jamal: Not a thing, not a thing. Just business as usual. Missed you, though.

Ian: I'm sorry if this bothers you, but if I was going to convince the INS --

Arianna: No, forget about it. I don't know why I'm upset. You're only doing what you signed on to do.

Ian: I promised I would keep you safe.

Arianna: And you're too good of a man to walk away from that.

Ian: Arianna --

Arianna: No, Ian. I love you. And all this time, I hoped that one day you'll look at me and feel just a tiny bit of what I feel for you. But now I see that the price is too high. You have given up so much to help me and I've given you nothing but unhappiness.

Ian: That's not true.

Arianna: It is. And it has to stop. It's time I gave you what you asked for. It's all I have to offer.

Ian: What is that?

Arianna: I'll leave Port Charles. I'll let you go.

Eve: How come we never got together? As in --

Chris: Yes.

Eve: You mean --

Chris: Yeah, doing it.

Eve: Jumping each other's bones?

Chris: Right.

Eve: Why do you ask?

Chris: Yeah, well, that's the million-dollar question, now, isn't it? So the million-dollar answer is?

Eve: You're not as drunk as I am, are you?

Chris: I'm not half as drunk as you are. But still, the million-dollar answer is?

Eve: All right, can I use a lifeline for this one?

Chris: What?

Eve: Let me ask the audience. Excuse me a minute.

Chris: What are you doing?

Eve: Hey, audience, why haven't we gotten --

Chris: Lambert, there's nobody here.

Eve: Shh! I'm speaking to the folks at home. How come --

Chris: There are no folks at home. It's just us chickens.

Eve: You know, that's what we are, Ramsey. We're just chickens, you and I. We're feathers that birds flock to.

Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, you know something? I myself have never figured out why we haven't done the deed. Quite frankly, I don't see why we shouldn't.

Eve: No?

Chris: No.

Eve: No.

Chris: Why not? Come on, we're both needy, lonely.

Eve: You're just saying that because you haven't connected to another human being like this in a long time.

Chris: Yeah, well, that's true. I haven't felt this close to another human being for a long time. You?

Eve: What me?

Chris: Come on, Lambert. You can't hide it from me. You're hurting.

Eve: You're damn straight I am.

Chris: So we'll make the pain stop. I mean, I know a way.

[Eve sighs]

Chris: And guaranteed to work for at least a little while.

Eve: Yeah, more martinis.

Chris: No, come on.

Eve: Come on, just --

Chris: Yeah, that would work, but then we'd both wake up in the morning sick as dogs.

Eve: Hmm. Just --

Chris: Yeah.

Eve: So just the two of us?

Chris: Look, we can just -- look at it this way -- we'd be helping each other out as friends by simply being together.

Eve: So, friends just hooking up as friends.

Chris: Just friends who hook up.

Eve: You know what, friend?

Chris: What?

Eve: I am hurting. So I say, "Why not?"

>> On the next "Port Charles" --

Chris: Love isn't worth it, especially when you can have so much fun simply being friends.

Lucy: I really believe that Jack's going to surprise you. He has a good soul.

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