One Life to Live Transcript Thursday 7/29/10


Episode # 10742

Provided By Boo
Proofread By Kathy

David: Lois? This fuzzy navel's bland! Put your back into it when you're juicing the fruit. Oh, hey, roomies. Do you want a cocktail? What's your poison?

Jessica: You're certainly making yourself at home.

David: Hello. This is my home.

Brody: Says who?

David: Says Viki. Send. Ha ha ha!

Dorian: David is in a hawt new relationship... with a swimsuit model. Ho! Yeah. Right! I'll just bet my big fat haute couture maillot on that.

Blair: And what did that keyboard ever do to you?

Dorian: Oh, I'm just updating my MyFace status. Mm-hmm. Yee-haw.

Inez: Is something wrong, Officer?

Bo: Your brake light is out.

Inez: You stopped me for that?

Bo: Actually, I've been following you for quite a while, and you were all over the road.

Inez: I was?

Bo: Mm-hmm. In the middle of the day. And if this street had been any busier...

Inez: Look, I'm sorry. I was distracted. It will not happen again. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Thank you, though, for letting me know about the brake light--

Bo: Hold on, ma'am. I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car.

Ford: You really have lost your mind, Hannah. I don't know an Eli Clarke.

Hannah: Don't even try.

Langston: Ahh... what the hell? I didn't send this. Ford better not think I did.

Dorian: Honey, stop that, would you? Aah! Is that--

Blair: Yes, it is. And you thought Eli was not gonna come through. Well, check it out!

Dorian: Ooh! Ha ha ha!

Hannah: The guy masterminded this whole thing. He made you accuse me of attacking you.

[Doorknob rattles]

Gigi: Now that you've slept on it, are you leaning one way or another?

Natalie: All I keep thinking about is how many people this is gonna hurt if this baby is Brody's.

Gigi: But it could be John's, too. Do you still want to go through with the abortion?

Bo: I'd like you to walk this straight line for me, please.

Inez: You think I've been drinking?

Bo: You were driving erratically.

Inez: Because I was distracted. I'm not drunk. I'm just having a really bad day.

Bo: Are you refusing to comply with--

Inez: Fine! Should I close my eyes and touch my nose, like "z, y, x, w, v, u--" what? Just give me a breathalyzer. I can jump through a hoop, too.

Bo: Look, I want you to calm down before you start driving again.

Inez: Calm down. I should have a drink, though. Calm my nerves, take the edge off. And maybe then I could handle the fact that my son hates me. Maybe then I can deal with the fact that I abandoned him and his brother.

Ford: I accused you of attacking me because you did.

Hannah: Ford, you know I didn't touch you. I'm in a looney bin for no reason.

Ford: Could have fooled me. Bye, Hannah.

Hannah: Ford, no, wait. Please don't go. You're the only one who knows that I didn't hurt you. You're the only one who can help me. God...

Ford: Hey. I'm glad you found me here. I guess you figured I'd still be here because of James.

Langston: Well, it seemed like a better idea than your apartment.

Ford: Did you get my message yesterday? Is that why you're here?

Langston: No. I lost my cell phone. I just got the message now. But I saw that somebody sent you a text from my phone inviting you over? Did you show?

Ford's voice: Hi. I'm here to see Langston.

Kelly's voice: Yeah. No, you're not.

Ford's voice: Well, she texted me. Unless you and Dorian are holding her prisoner, she should be—

Kelly's voice: I sent the message.

Ford's voice: Why?

Kelly's voice: I feel like I owe it to every woman that you're ever gonna sleep with to warn you about Jessica.

Ford's voice: What about her?

Kelly's voice: She has a communicable disease. If you had slept with her, you could have picked it up.

Ford: Yeah, I stopped by.

Langston: Well, who was there? What made you think that I wanted to see you?

Eli: Where's the phone, Hannah?

Hannah: What phone?

Eli: I'm only trying to make this easier for you. If you don't want them to lock you in a padded cell and forbid you from having any contact with the outside world whatsoever, you'll give this nice orderly his phone back without a fight.

Dorian: This ring is as unique as you are. Darling, Eli has impeccable taste.

Blair: Ah, did I just hear you say that--

Dorian: I was wrong, wrong. I was--

Blair: About my fiancé, yes.

Dorian: I was aghast that he would--

[Blair scoffs]

Dorian: Really. Commit a faux pas as serious as asking you to marry him without presenting you with a ring. So naturally, I felt entitled to put my foot down.

Blair: Mm-hmm, and so did David Vickers.

Dorian: Do not ever mention the man's name to me again. Thank you. Now then, given Eli's actions, of course, it's natural that I question his being able to meet up to Cramer woman's standards. But now with that absolutely perfect gem, my dear, he has more than proven himself.

Blair: Well, I'm sure he'll be glad to hear that.

Dorian: Mm-hmm. Man like Elijah Clarke just makes me realize what a louse and a--

Blair: Loser?

Dorian: Yes. What a louse and a loser David Vickers actually is.

David: Oeufs a la moelle. Carlotta used to make 'em for me all the time. Poached eggs with bone marrow.

Brody: Can it, Vickers. Jessica's queasy.

David: Not for my muffins, she's not. I ate more than one of those things, and I'm perfectly healthy. My cooking's beyond reproach.

Brody: Your cooking, yeah. You...not so much.

David: So what was the perp? How was that? Did I sound like Pa?

Brody: Not at all.

Jessica: You'll find out when my dad gets here.

David: Uncle Clint's coming over here? Oh, man. I left my bullet-proof vest at Pa's garret.

Natalie: My sister and Brody deserve a shot at happiness, you know?

Gigi: What about you?

Natalie: And if I ruin that for them? If I send Jessica back to St. Ann's?

Gigi: Natty, I really think that's a long shot.

Natalie: But it could happen. Anything could happen, and just thinking about telling my family and what it's gonna do to everyone and John. I mean, John just lost a baby with Marty. What am I supposed to tell him? Well, maybe this is your baby, maybe it's not? How can I do that to him?

Gigi: Natalie, listen to me. You have to do what's right for you.

Natalie: I really don't know what that is.

Gigi: Then wait until you do. You'll figure it out. I know it. And you can always call me. You're not alone in this. You need help, I'm there.

Natalie: Thank you. [Sighs] Ooh.

Clint: Natalie. Honey, what's wrong?

John: Was that Natalie on the phone?

Gigi: Uh, yeah.

John: Yeah. She okay?

Gigi: She's fine. She's great.

John: She called in sick this morning.

Gigi: Hmm. I guess she's better now. Big delivery. I better--

John: It can wait. Look, Gigi, I hate asking for help. But Natalie's hiding something from me, something you think she can't handle on her own. So... why don't you tell me what it is?

Natalie: Ah, nothing--nothing's wrong, Dad. I'm just--ahem-- I'm a little dehydrated from yesterday.

Clint: Yesterday?

Natalie: Uh, yeah. Yeah, I was sick, but I'm okay now.

Clint: You don't look so good. You look pale.

Natalie: Yeah, well, it's nothing a little seltzer water and soda crackers can't fix. I'm good. I'm good. I'm great. Okay?

Clint: Let's go in and find out what the news is that your sister wants to share with us.

Natalie: Okay.

Jessica: Hey, Dad! David, relax. My father didn't come here to kill you.

David: Oh, yeah. As if he'd tell you. Look, Uncle Clint, if you're gonna shoot me, you'll have to go through Jessica.

Clint: If I'd known you'd been here, I would have brought my shotgun. Now, get away from my daughter.

David: You can relax, Jessica. I'm gonna make sure that sliver of my liver you got in there is gonna live a long and happy life.

Brody: You got any other organs you'd like to donate? Clint, thanks for coming.

Clint: Yeah, of course. Is something wrong? What is it you wanted to tell me?

Jessica: Dad, Brody and I are gonna have a baby.

Clint: What?

Brody: It's true.

Clint: This is great! This is the best news that I've had in a long, long time.

David: I'm gonna have a new cousin? Buchanans rule! Up top, yo!

Jessica: Lovetts aren't so bad either.

David: Wait, so then it wasn't my muffins that made you sick. It was that little bun in your oven. So what about Natalie? Why was she so sick yesterday?

Gigi: What makes you think Natalie is hiding something from you?

John: You're answering a question with a question.

Gigi: Rex. Um, excuse me. Rex, I was so worried. I texted you while you were gone and you never answered. Are you okay?

Rex: Yeah, and boy do I have a story to tell you.

John: What happened in Boston? Any closer to tracking down Bennett Thompson?

Kelly: Well, he managed to stay one step ahead of Rex and me. But we did find out something about him.

John: Yeah, what's that?

Kelly: The guy will stop at nothing to keep us from catching him.

Eli: Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. [Eli inhales sharply] I think we need to have a little chat... during which you explain exactly what you were doing calling Cole.

Hannah: I just wanted to make sure he was okay. I wasn't gonna tell him anything.

Eli: After all, what's to tell?

Hannah: You got what you wanted. I lied and took the blame for pushing Dr. Saybrooke and bashing Ford's head in. You won. Everybody thinks I'm crazy. Just please don't hurt Cole.

Blair: Do you want to hear how I almost sent Eli packing before he gave me this beautiful ring, or do you want to keep on going on and on about David?

Dorian: I don't want to waste another breath on that bore. No, so tell me about Eli. What did he do that got you so upset?

Blair: Well, last night he told me he couldn't see me because he had business to take care of.

Dorian: Honey, the man is ambitious. You're gonna have to get used to a few late nights.

Blair: Well, I wasn't ready to start last night, okay? So I put on one of many little sexy nothings--

Dorian: Ohh!

Blair: Put a gorgeous trench coat over it and decided I would go over to his place and surprise him.

Dorian: And?

Blair: Mm-hmm. He wasn't there, and he didn't show up all night.

Dorian: What, you waited around in the sexy little nothing with the trench coat on?

Blair: No, I didn't. But I did happen to call his room probably every hour. Well, listen! I couldn't help it, all right? It's not my fault I couldn't sleep. Okay, don't give me that look. In my defense, by the time he showed up here this morning, I was spitting nails.

Dorian: And then what happened? What did you do?

Blair: Well, I told him he was a liar and I couldn't trust him and I slammed the door in his face.

Dorian: Just because the man wasn't home for one nigh doing. I thought he was up to no good, Dorian, but he was off in New York finding me the most perfect ring. I am such a shrew!

Dorian: Blair, look at me.

Blair: What?

Dorian: Blair, shame on you.

Ford: I don't know who texted me. When I got to your house, nobody was home.

Langston: Nobody?

Ford: Yeah, weird. I--maybe one of Starr's brothers was playing a trick.

Langston: As long as you know that I did not ask you over.

Ford: Yeah, I know.

Langston: Good. So how's your brother doing?

Ford: He's good. Actually, they've taken him in for some tests and pt and hopefully he'll be out of here soon.

Langston: Well, I'm glad. When you said you needed to talk, I was worried that maybe James had gotten worse or something.

Ford: No. He's fine, except for having me as a brother. I messed him up, Langston. First, Mom left him, and then I did.

Inez: You're a cop. You're a decent man, probably a family man, wife and kids. You don't even have to say anything. I can see it's written all over your face how much you love them, how much you've always been there. The last thing you would ever do would be to abandon a child of yours, make him feel like he wasn't worth anything, make him feel like he wasn't good enough or worse, that you never gave a damn.

Bo: Ma'am, I, uh--

Inez: I left my sons when they were small, and now my oldest son won't let me anywhere near his little brother. And he won't listen to my excuses. And why should he, 'cause I'm guilty. I'm guilty as charged.

Bo: Ma'am, please.

Inez: You pulled me over. I want you to just close the deal. Arrest me, 'cause I am guilty of the most indefensible crime on earth--I abandoned my sons.

David: So why were you sick yesterday, Natalie?

Natalie: Well, I was having sympathy sickness. You know, Jess is my twin. We're just connected in mysterious ways.

Clint: When I came in from the garage just now, you were still going through it.

Jessica: Really? Today?

Natalie: Uh...yeah. I was feeling sick. In fact, I called into work sick, but I am feeling so much better. I think I should go ahead and go on in. But congratulations, Grandpa.

Clint: Yeah.

Natalie: Bye.

Clint: Well, you two, I couldn't be happier about this, but you are gonna give my grandchild a name, right, so the baby and the whole world can know who its dad is?

Ford: When I left home, I promised James that I'd come back for him, and I never did. I couldn't. I was barely making enough money to feed myself in those days, and I was convinced that he was better off where he was, with an abusive criminal for a father.

Langston: You were thinking of yourself.

Ford: Yeah, but isn't that the definition of selfish? I'm as bad as my mom. No, worse, actually, because when she left, she didn't promise anything. But I promised that I'd come back and save him, get him away from Dad, you know?

Langston: If you could have, I'm sure you would have.

Ford: No, good intentions don't mean a damn thing. Not mine, not my mom's. We're both full of hundreds of kinds of sorry, and they don't mean a damn thing!

Inez: I destroyed their lives. They deserve a little payback. Maybe then they can understand how sorry I am. Maybe they can finally be happy.

Bo: I don't think it works that way.

Inez: What doesn't?

Bo: Love. Loss. When someone hurts you, you think that you want payback. But it doesn't make the pain go away.

Inez: Well, my son thinks it will. He wants me to suffer the way he and his brother did.

Bo: He doesn't mean that.

Inez: Yes, he does. And if that's what it takes, if locking me up and making me pay is what will finally make them happy, then just do it. Just arrest me.

Bo: No, no, no. I'm not gonna do that.

Inez: [Sobbing] What have I done?

Langston: Is there anything I can do to help?

Ford: You want to help me?

Langston: If I can.

Ford: I'm sorry. I don't mean to dump this on you. I just don't know who else to talk to except you.

Langston: It's gonna be okay.

[Knock on door]

Nurse: Mr. Ford, the results of your blood test came back. It's negative.

Ford: Thank you.

Langston: What were you tested for?

Eli: You'll be very happy to know that I helped Cole prevent a very long prison term today.

Hannah: He's free?

Eli: Yes, yes, yes, I fought tooth and nail to keep him from doing time for beating up Manning. So, thanks to me, Cole is free and safe and happy, but he won't be for long if you try another stunt like the one you just pulled.

Hannah: Well, it wouldn't matter if I did. I mean, like I said, everybody thinks I'm crazy.

Eli: Yeah, I am not playing here, Hannah. If you try to reach out to someone, anyone, again, I kill Cole.

Hannah: I won't. I swear. What's gonna happen to me?

Dorian: Eli Clarke is not Todd Manning.

Blair: I know that.

Dorian: You didn't act like that last night. Sit do. Sit! Todd used you and he abused you. He made an Olympic sport out of disappointing you. Well, that player is now out of the game. And you finally got yourself a man who will never ever cause you pain or disappoint you the way that Todd did.

Blair: And you got all that from this beautiful ring here?

Dorian: Mm-hmm. Ha ha! Add to that his beautiful manners, his pedigree, that jaw line.

Blair: Mmm, whatever works.

Dorian: You and Eli have my blessing. Just don't screw this up, 'cause you will regret it the rest of your life.

Blair: Who knew it would feel this good to have you approve of the man that I love?

Kelly: He drugged Rex. And while he was out, Thompson met with the clerk with the information we needed.

John: And he took it.

Kelly: Uh, yeah, but he left the file to throw us off the trail, scrubbed it clean of any leads so now we have no way of finding him. I still can't believe that he knew Rex was going up to Boston.

Gigi: Rex, you have to quit this case, not just for me but for Shane. You have a son. You can't keep putting your life at risk like this.

Kelly: Good news is, the clerk gave us a description of Thompson.

John: And the bad news?

Kelly: He looks like a million other men--tall, dark, and handsome.

Kelly's voice: Bye.

Eli's voice: I gotta go, too.

John's voice: Hey. Call my office later, will you, counselor? There's a couple things we need to go over.

Eli's voice: Absolutely. Soon as I'm done with this appointment.

John's voice: Thanks.                           

Kelly: Hello? John? What's going on? Do you know something? You do. You're thinking something, aren't you? About who Thompson really is.

Langston: No, tell me, Ford. What did you get tested for?

Ford: Doesn't matter. I don't have it.

Langston: Have what?

Ford: Nothing!

Langston: Oh, my God. Did you think you could have an std? Is that it? Huh? Could I have it?

Inez: I can't believe I just unloaded all that on you. I'm so sorry.

Bo: Ah, don't worry about it.

Inez: No, I had a fight with my son, and I overreacted.

Bo: I've had a little experience with sons, fights.

Inez: Probably not like this.

Bo: Last year, my son sued his mother and me. But after a while, everything is okay now.

Inez: You're fortunate.

Bo: Well, I know that your son's beef is more complicated, but maybe one day he's gonna be able to forgive you.

Inez: First I have to take care of the one son that doesn't hate me. If I don't find us a place to live, I could lose him, too.

Bo: Are you Nate's mother?

Ford: You heard her. The test came back negative. It's not important.

Langston: Not important. Are you kidding me? We were having sex for months. When were you planning on telling me that you might have an infection?

Ford: It was after you. We were over.

Langston: Wait. You and I broke up on prom night, and that was the night that Hannah attacked you. You've been in the hospital for weeks. And what, now you're already sleeping with somebody else, somebody who could have made you sick?

David: I'm gonna put the good news about my new cuz on MyFace.

Jessica: No, don't. Mom and Charlie are away, and I don't want them finding out about this via MyFace.

David: Viki's on MyFace? It's about time Viki got on MyFace. I should probably friend her and let her know I'm still not speaking to her.

Jessica: Well, you can say whatever you want, but just don't tell her this, okay? Brody and I want to tell Mom and Charlie in person.

David: I've got more pressing matters.

Jessica: See you later.

David: "Dorian Lord is involved with an irresistible man with an enormous...income"?

Dorian: Oh, darling, please do not invite David to your wedding. The man is persona non grata.

Blair: I thought you didn't care.

Dorian: I don't. He has the nerve to post that he's in a "hawt" new relationship with a swimsuit model.

Blair: Well, maybe he is.

Dorian: He is not. He's lying!

Blair: Well, how do you know that? Well, he could be involved with a beautiful woman.

Dorian: Well, that's ridiculous.

Blair: Why is it ridiculous, Dorian? David is rich, now that he's a Buchanan. He's completely superficial, and on a good day he actually, I guess, can be good looking. So why wouldn't a model be hot for him?

Dorian: Wait a minute! You, my dear, are supposed to be on my side.

Blair: I am on your side, but you just gave me a speech, sitting right here, about how I should get Todd out of my life. So maybe you should take your own advice. So what if David goes after some hot model? Maybe he'll fall in love with her. Maybe he'll marry her. And maybe he'll be out of your life for good.

Dorian: [Chuckles] Hope's asleep?

Blair: Like a baby.

Dorian: I'm, uh, late for something.

Blair: Okay. She just fell for that hook, line, and sinker.

Eli: As long as you keep your mouth shut and don't do anything further to jeopardize my plan and I get everything I need, then all of this will be over.

Hannah: And when will that be?

Eli: Soon.

Hannah: I don't believe you.

Eli: I don't care.

Gigi: Do you really have to stay on this case?

Rex: I owe it to Kelly to find out who killed her mother, and I need the cash.

Gigi: Why? We're doing fine.

Rex: I want to do better than fine. I want to put the woman I love through college.

John: I have to check some records on Thompson before I can give you an answer.

Kelly: Why so tight-lipped, John? Was that clerk describing you, Mr. Tall, dark, and handsome?

John: I have to get back to the P.D., Kelly. See you later.

Natalie: Hi.

John: Hey.

Natalie: I thought you were going to work.

John: Yeah, I'm on my way. But I need to know what's bothering you first.

Natalie: I told you last night.

John: Yeah. The haircut. I need a haircut.

Natalie: Yeah.

John: You know, I let that go last night, but there's obviously more to it. I know you're in trouble. So if you need help... if something--

Natalie: No.

John: Is inside and it's hurting you, I'm not gonna stand by and just let it go.

Inez: You know about me from the papers, right? The boy who took that money and got in all that trouble.

Bo: I know all about that, but I met Nate earlier today, and he told me you lost your house.

Inez: Oh, my God. We both dumped on you today?

Bo: Other son, but Nate seemed like a good kid.

Inez: Thanks. Please don't tell Nate about his brothers. He would be heartbroken if he knew that they didn't want him in their lives.

Bo: Your secret's safe with me.

Inez: Wow, it's amazing how a complete stranger can turn your day from a total disaster to something almost okay.

Bo: Well, that's a start. Okay? But I told Nate this earlier. I'm gonna tell you I can help. You call me.

Inez: Thank you, but I'm gonna be fine. I know I came off like a basket case before, but I'm usually much more together. Really. And this is a situation that I can fix. As for what's going on with my other sons, there's nothing you can do about that.

Ford: Langston, the blood test is not what you think--

Langston: Save it! You know, for a minute, I actually believed you were a human being--a real person with real feelings and real emotions, but no. You're just the same old player, racking up notches on your belt. That was my mistake. That was my stupid mistake! [Sighs]

Eli: Oh, hey, Bob. Can I borrow your phone for a second? I can't seem to get a signal in here.

Bob: Sure. I just need to refill the meds cart.

Eli: Just be a minute.

Bob: Sure.

Eli: Thanks. Damn it! She called someone else.


Ford: Hannah?

Eli: No, this isn't Hannah, but I'm calling from the phone she used.

Ford: Eli.

Eli: What did Hannah tell you, ford?

Ford: Not a damn thing.

Eli: You sure about that?

Ford: Yeah, I'm sure.

Eli: All right, now you listen to me. That girl tries to reach [words missing]

Ford: Yeah, I know what's good for me, okay?

Eli: Glad to hear it.

Brody: You feeling okay?

Jessica: Yeah, feel great.

Brody: Don't you need some air?

Jessica: Uh, yeah. I need some air. Excuse us. I have to go get some air.

David: No, no, no, no. You can't go. Uncle Clint's gonna kill me.

Brody: Man up, buddy.

David: Uncle Clint, about Kim and this alleged role I played in her leaving you.

Clint: I'm not gonna hurt you, David, so long as you tell me where Kimberly is. Now, I've got P.I.s on this, but she's nowhere to be found.

David: Believe me, I don't know where she went.

Clint: I think you do.

David: I know she was hot, but sometimes we have to give up the women that we love the most because they're just plain bad for us. Dorian! Thank God you're here to stop Uncle Clint from killing me.

Dorian: Clint, go ahead and kill him. After he posts a retraction on MyFace. You liar! You are not in a relationship.

David: Neither are you.

Dorian: Oh, so you're admitting you're not in a relationship.

David: Only if you are.

Jessica: I'm so sorry that my dad got all Victorian on you about the name thing.

Brody: Yeah, me, too. Because he beat me to the punch.

Natalie: I've been feeling bad about something and I didn't want to bother you. Gigi was talking me through it.

John: You're not bothering me. Talk you through what?

Natalie: My sister. She's ...she's been through a lot, and now she's pregnant and she and Brody are over the moon. I'm just afraid that something will change that.

John: Like what?

Natalie: Anything. Look at what happened with Marty. And last time Jessica was pregnant, Nash died and her baby died, too. John, she is finally happy again. And I'm afraid that if something wrecks that, she's not gonna be able to handle it. I will give up everything, and I will do anything to make sure that my sister doesn't suffer anymore.

John: Whatever it is you're thinking you need to give up, tell me. We'll work through it together.

Blair: Update my status. Blair Cramer is now engaged.

Eli: Why, yes, she is.

Blair: Ah, Eli!

Eli: You are a sight for sore eyes.

Blair: Well, you, too, good looking. So how did Cole's case go? You know, I was watching Hope for Starr, but she hasn't called, so what happened?

Eli: Well, I got Todd to drop the charges.

Blair: You did? Oh! You're so wonderful. I was so worried that Starr wasn’t gonna have a boyfriend and Hope wasn't gonna have a daddy.

Eli: I know. Why do you think I worked so hard to make it happen?

Blair: You're wonderful. Such a relief off of me now. I guess I'm just gonna have to spend all this time planning our wedding. Ha ha ha!

Ford's voice: Langston, it's Ford. It was great seeing you today. I was just wondering, can we do that again? I just--


Woman: Message one deleted.

Langston: I was so stupid.

Hannah: There's no way out for me. No one... not Cole, not Ford... no one's gonna help me.

[Knock on door]

Nun: Ms. O'Connor, someone to see you.

Bo: Are you sure you're okay to drive?

Inez: After inappropriately unloading on you? Yes, I think I'm 100%.

Bo: It happens all the time, but usually it's someone trying to talk their way out of a ticket.

Inez: I really am sorry.

Bo: There's nothing to be sorry about. Look, I know that you don't want help, but if you change your mind, you can find me at the LPD.

Inez: Thank you. For everything.

Bo: Drive carefully. Get that brake light fixed.

Dorian: How can I deny I'm in a new relationship? I'd be lying.

David: Like that would be a first. Btw, my new GF is smokin' hot, IMHO.

Dorian: TMI. And where, pray tell, is this paragon of spandex beauty?

David: And where's this new squeeze of yours with the enormous income, huh? In your dreams?

Dorian: Absolutely not! He's... he's right here.

Jessica: Hmm.

Brody: I told you once before, you're my home. More than that, you're my sanity, my constant, my north star. Without you, I wouldn't know who I was. But with you, I'm the father of the baby inside you. I'm the father Bree asked me to be, the man who wants to give you and our family everything I have to give. I love you, Jessica. And I will get you a ring. Will you marry me?

Jessica: Yes! Yes, yes, of course I'll marry you!

[Rex sighs]

Rex: Well, I need to get a blood test so that John'll have proof Thompson drugged me.

Gigi: Okay, well, when you get back, we can talk about how much I want you to quit this job.

Rex: When I get back, we can talk about what's going on with Natalie.

Natalie: I just want you to know that no matter what, I love you.

Kelly: Sorry, Natalie. This guy of yours, he knows something he's not saying, but I plan to torture it out of him.

Natalie: Well, good luck with that. I'll let you two talk. Call me later.

[Taps glass]

John: You can run, but you can't hide.

Gigi: What happened between you guys? Did he say anything to change your mind about having an abortion?

Natalie: No. I have to do this, and I'm gonna do it right now.

Gigi: I'm right there with you.

Natalie: Let's go in the back.

John: Kelly, I have nothing concrete on Bennett Thompson.

Kelly: I don't care if it's concrete. This is my mother's murderer we're talking about. If you know something about who it is, you have to tell me.

Eli: Now that there's nothing standing in the way of our happiness, why shouldn't we get married?

Blair: We will, Eli.

Eli: No, no. I mean, I don't want to spend one more day without you as my wife. Let's get married tonight.

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