One Life to Live Transcript Monday 7/19/10


Episode # 10734

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

Cole: I was about to grab some lunch for you and Hope. I thought you were home with her.

Starr: My grandma's with her. I went to visit James.

Cole: I guess you still feel pretty guilty about...

Starr: Shooting him? Almost killing him?

Cole: It was an accident.

Starr: Still...

Cole: I remember.

Starr: Oh, yeah, I guess you would. Um, anyway, I just went to see if he was okay.

Cole: Is he?

Starr: Yeah, he is.

Cole: So when are they releasing him?

Starr: Doesn't really matter because I told James that I'm not seeing him anymore.

Cole: Why not?

[Langston drops keys]

Dorian: Huh.

Langston: Huh. Don't mind me.

Dorian: Huh.

Natalie: Oh, my God, Mom! What are you doing? 

Mrs. Williamson: Why are you in such a rush, Cristian? Why are you in such a hurry to go to my house and rummage through my daughter's things?

Cristian: I'm just trying to help, ma'am.

Cristian: My daughter does not need your help, and yes, Layla, I am familiar with all your sister's papers, and no, she did not write any document giving anyone permission to kill her.

Layla: Mom, it isn't--

Mrs. Williamson: Why are you even involved in this, Layla?

Layla: What are you talking about? I'm Evangeline's sister.

Mrs. Williamson: And I am her mother, and I make the decisions about her care. You--you are just a visitor.

Layla: Are you sure she wants to live on those machines?

Mrs. Williamson: I am sure that she wants to live. How many times do I have to say it? She would want us to do everything, take every step to ensure her survival!

Layla: Well, if that's what she truly wants, then that's what we'll do.

Mrs. Williamson: Evangeline will come back from this because her will to live is too strong for her to give up like you have. And if you are not careful, I will have you barred from seeing her because your negativity cannot possibly be good for her health.

Layla: I'm sure she'd appreciate that I see things for what they are.

Mrs. Williamson: Whatever you need, sweetheart, to make yourself feel better. I am going home to get some of her favorite things so that she will know that she is coming home soon.

Viki: Oh, uh, it, uh, it's a long story.

Natalie: Well, we've got time.

Jessica: Uh, where's Charlie?

Viki: Oh, uh, Charlie, well, he--

David: The passionate kiss that your mother and I were sharing was completely innocent.

Natalie: Really?

Jessica: It didn't look very innocent.

David: Good. It wasn't supposed to look innocent. It was supposed to look hot and steamy.

Natalie: It was?

David: Yes. Because we were rehearsing. As you know, I'm an actor. I have what we in the trade call a call-back.

Natalie: For what, a remake of "American Gigolo"?

Jessica: Oh, is this part of the call-back?

David: It's a European movie. About a charismatic hunk who doesn't seem to age, who's Irish, and he shows the ways of love to a slightly repressed but beautiful woman. Your mother was nice enough to help me get comfortable with the part.

Natalie: Mom?

Viki: Hmm?

Natalie: Is that true?

Viki: Well, you know, um, um, what I can say is that what you saw is not at all what you thought you saw. So, what can I do for you two, hmm?

Natalie: First of all, don't even think about eating one of these toxic muffins.

Jessica: Oh, yeah. Unless you want to lose a whole bunch of weight really fast.

Viki: What are you talking about?

Natalie: David poisoned us.

Dorian: Uh, sweetheart, uh, let me explain.

Langston: No. I don't want you to explain.

Dorian: We were just, um--

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, we were just--

Langston: No, no, no. What I mean is, I don't need you to explain.

Dorian: You don't? Why not?

Langston: Are you kidding me? Who am I to judge after everything that I did to Markko? All the lying, all the cheating. You two can do whatever you want.

Starr: I'm not going to see James anymore because, well, what's the point?

Cole: I thought you two were friends.

Starr: Come on. Just because you get stuck with someone for a few days doesn't mean that you're friends.

Cole: Well, you seemed pretty worried about him at the hospital.

Starr: Because I shot him. I mean, that's it. The only reason why we met in the first place was because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it's not like we have anything in common.

Cole: Yeah, except for stealing cars.

Starr: Yeah. Like I ever want to do that again. So what do you say? Do you think my grandma would want some empanadas?

Cole: Empanadas?

Starr: Yeah. We're not too far from the Buenos Dias, so maybe we could go and grab a couple and bring them back to my house, and my brothers can have some and Sam's been on this spicy food kick lately so--

Cole: Starr, okay?

Starr: Yeah, I'm fine. I-- I mean, I--Markko?

Markko: Oh, hey!

Starr: Hi!

Markko: Hey.

Starr: Oh, wow! I haven't seen you in such a long time. How are you doing?

Markko: Well, I mean, I think the real question is how are you guys? You can't pick up a newspaper in this town without seeing your faces on it.

Cole: Oh, Hannah led me on a wild goose chase, and I was stupid enough to follow her. And Starr ended up on the run with--

Markko: Yeah. Uh, Ford's brother. I read about it. What was his name again?

Starr: James.

Markko: Right. Well, I hope James isn't anything like his brother.

Starr: No, nothing like him.

Markko: Well, so how are you guys? Are you two okay?

Cole: Yeah, I guess.

Starr: We're fine. I--

Markko: I mean, are you, you know, finally back together?

Starr: Well, we--we never actually broke up.

Cole: Hey, you know, the last time I saw you, we were both in jail.

Markko: Ha. Yeah, yeah. And you told me that you had just asked Starr to stop coming to see you.

Cole: Yeah, so you thought that we had broken up.

Markko: Yeah, but you didn't. So I mean, that's great. Tell me everything.

Cole: Uh, well, you know how Hannah convinced me that Starr's dad was the one that pushed my mom down the stairs...

Markko: I just read it in the "Sun." So it was really Hannah the whole time?

Cole: Just like Starr thought.

Markko: Kind of an "I told you so."

Starr: Huh. She fooled a lot of people.

Cole: She tried to make me believe a lot of things that weren't true, but that's all behind us now.

Starr: Yeah, it's about time. I mean, I feel like we've been apart for forever.

Markko: Yeah, but now Cole's out on bail, you made your way back.

Starr: Yeah, and we're just really happy that we get to be home with Hope.

Cole: Hey, why don't you move back in with us?

Markko: Thanks, but, uh, I can't.

Starr: Well, why not? I mean, Langston moved back with Aunt Dorian, so--

Markko: Actually, this doesn't have anything to do with Langston.

Charlie: I'll be out on the terrace.

Dorian: Thank you, Charles. Sweetheart, um, did Markko contact you?

Langston: Yeah, he did. We had a long talk.

Dorian: Good. You're back together again.

Langston: No, we're not. Even though you tried to talk him into taking me back.

Dorian: Huh. Evidently I'm going to have to have another talk with him. The two of you belong together.

Langston: No, Dorian, we don't.

Dorian: How can you say that?

Langston: Because Markko and I, we don't--we don't fit together anymore. Too much has happened.

Dorian: At least you talked, that's a beginning. And maybe you just need time to let things settle and--

Langston: Markko's moving to California.

Dorian: Oh. And what is there for him in California?

Langston: His future. A really bright one. Markko's going to UCLA on a scholarship.

Dorian: Oh.

Langston: He was supposed to go last year, but he turned them down for me so he could stay here with me, and I threw his loyalty right in his face.

Dorian: Oh. Sweetheart.

Langston: No, Dorian, it's okay. I want him to go. I want him to be happy and successful because he deserves it.

Dorian: What happened when you went to see him?

Langston: We said our good-byes.

Dorian: And that's it? You're just letting him go?

Langston: What else am I supposed to do?

Dorian: You can stop him.

Cole: Hey, come on--ha! Living with Starr and me and Hope wasn't that bad, was it?

Markko: No, no. It's, um, I'm leaving.

Starr: Like on a trip?

Markko: I'm moving to California for good.

Cole: What do you mean? When?

Markko: Tomorrow.

Langston: You want me to go after Markko and stop him? You of all people?

Dorian: Wait a minute. What do you mean "me of all people"? Huh. If the love of my life were riding off into the sunset--

Langston: Yeah? What about David?

Dorian: What about David?

Langston: You never once tried to stop him from leaving. I mean, not that it matters now that you're macking on Charlie Banks.

Dorian: Wh-wh-wh--my relationship with David has nothing to do with yours with Markko. For one thing, I don't want David.

Langston: [Scoffs] Whatever you say.

Dorian: However, that boy I saw this morning, he does want you, and you want him. I mean, the two of you belong together.

Langston: I have to go.

Dorian: Uh, you're going to stop Markko from leaving?

Langston: Dorian, instead of focusing on my love life, how about you concentrate on your own?

David: I didn't poison anybody. Noelle made those muffins. Noelle's the one who poisoned you.

Jessica: We called Noelle.

Natalie: And those aren't her muffins.

David: Look at you two. It's like you've got your own twin language.

Jessica: You lied.

David: It's called exaggerating. There's a difference, Natalie.

Jessica: You know I'm Jessica.

David: Well, how am I supposed to tell you apart? You're twins.

Viki: What is going on here? What is this bit about poisoning? Have you two been ill?

Jessica: I think ill would be an understatement.

Natalie: Yeah. We've been sick as dogs, and it's because of those muffins.

Jessica: Ugh.

David: Don't look at me! I've had two of those muffins, and they're just fine. Your mother will back me up.

Viki: Did you bake these muffins, David?

David: Maybe. Does it matter? Watch.

[Jessica coughs]

Viki: Well, obviously you two need to get to a doctor because you're probably coming down with something.

David: I Hope it isn't contagious. I don't want my first night at Llanfair to be marred by projectile vomiting.

Natalie: Oh!

Jessica: Oh, and about that. Um, David isn't really moving in here, is he?

Viki: Okay, I'm going to explain everything to you later on, okay? But right now, you both need to get to a doctor and find out what's wrong, okay?

Natalie: I think you should do the same.

David: Back off, Jessica.

Viki: Come on, go to the doctor. Now.

Jessica: Good luck on your call back.

Natalie: Yeah. Invite us to the premiere.

Jessica: Ugh.

David: It wasn't my muffins.

Viki: Oh, David, let's forget about the muffins. I'd like to pick up where we left off.

Charlie: So is everything okay with Langston?

Dorian: Yes. Everything is just fine.

Charlie: Oh. Oh. I'm glad. Now, um... exactly where were we?

Dorian: No, Charlie. I can't do this. I just can't.

Viki: Now, don't you worry. The girls won't interrupt us again, okay?

David: Good. That's good. No. I'm sorry, Viki. I can't do this.

Starr: Does Langston know?

Markko: We talked. We couldn't work it out.

Cole: Are you sure?

Starr: I know that Langston regrets everything that happened with Ford. I mean, maybe you guys can get past it.

Markko: It's not that I can't forgive Langston. It's that I can't--I just can't forget what she did. I know that if something like that ever happened to you guys, you'd-- not that you would ever cheat on each other, but you guys could probably find your way back together again, but me and Langston--I mean, as much as me and Langston have always wanted to be like you two, you know, destined to be with each other through thick and thin, we're just not.

Starr: Cole and I didn't always know that we were destined.

Markko: Trust me, you were. And Langston and I, we just... we don't have it in us to get past everything the way that you guys always seem to.

Layla: Why does every conversation with my mom turn into an argument?

Cristian: She's scared of losing her daughter, and she doesn't want Evangeline to die because she gave up.

Layla: Nobody wants Evangeline to die. I just want my mom to do what's right for my sister.

Cristian: Maybe--maybe you'll have better luck if you talk to her at home. You know, maybe she'll listen to you if Evangeline's not in the next room.

Layla: I just want her to understand that I'm not the enemy here. I'm on her side. I want Vange to live, too.

Cristian: Just not like this.

Layla: It's not my sister in there.

Cristian: Do you want me to be with you when you talk to your mom?

Layla: No. Don't get me wrong. I love you, but--

Cristian: I know. I know. Me being there is only gonna make this worse. I get it.

Layla: Thanks for always knowing exactly what to say and do.

Cristian: I love you.

Layla: Love you.

Cristian: Good luck.

Natalie: You didn't believe all that audition stuff, did you?

Jessica: Uh, yeah, I did because the alternative is unthinkable that Mom was actually kissing David Vickers.

Natalie: What do you think they're doing in there right now?

Jessica: Ugh!

Natalie: I'll get a--

Jessica: No, no. No. It's okay. It's a false alarm. I was just thinking about--uh, whew--Mom and David and--whew.

Natalie: Yeah. I know.

Jessica: You know what's weird? How come David didn't get sick from those stupid muffins?

Natalie: You know, maybe--maybe he built up an immunity to all the toxins he threw in there.

Jessica: Or maybe Mom's right. Maybe we're actually coming down with something.

Natalie: If it's not the muffins, what else could it be?

Viki: David, we talked about this, about all the reasons that we should be together.

David: And all the reasons we shouldn't be together.

Viki: Yeah, but there are not so many of those. What happened? Why are you turning away from me now?

David: W--I just had to cover to prevent your daughters from finding out that you're a wanton woman, too weak to resist me.

Viki: Well, they would understand. I mean, eventually.

David: You're right. I guess they would. I mean, look at me. Sex with me would be a real treat for you. But I got to say, after we consummated our simmering passion, there would be no turning back.

Viki: But I don't want to turn back, and I thought you didn't either.

David: Viki, this is very difficult for me to say. But I've been hiding the truth of what's really in my heart. Or rather I should say... who's really in my heart.

Charlie: Look, hey, I'm sorry, Dorian, if that kiss made you uncomfortable, but I thought you were the one who wanted to explore our attraction.

Dorian: I might have wanted to for just a fleeting moment, but now I know that I cannot.

Charlie: Really? Why not?

Dorian: Because Langston's arrival did more than just interrupt our kiss. It reminded me of how emotions can confuse a person about their feelings. You know, the way that I am feeling confused right now.

Charlie: Yeah, you're confused, but you're Dorian Lord. You always know what you want.

Dorian: Ha ha! Normally I do, but, um, I was not being honest with myself.

Charlie: Really? About what? I mean, what are you trying to say here?

Dorian: Langston was not true to her own heart. She compromised her values, and she betrayed somebody who is very good and kind, and I don't want to do the same thing.

Charlie: Okay. All right, Dorian, I understand.

Dorian: Thank you, Charlie. Because it took me this long to realize that I do have deep and profound feelings--

Charlie: I knew it! You still have feelings for David Vickers!

Dorian: No. For Viki. I can't do this because of Viki.

Viki: Oh. Oh, David. I know how difficult it is to really look inside yourself and to see the truth.

David: Oh. So you understand why I can't do this?

Viki: Yes, I do. I do. You can't do this because of--

David: Because of you. I can't do this because of you, Viki.

Charlie: You can't go through this because of Viki?

Dorian: You see, Charlie, the last time you and I kept a secret from Viki is when we made that pact to kill Mitch Laurence. It was that bond that brought us so close together.

Charlie: Well, that it did, yeah.

Dorian: And now it appears that you are confusing the intimacy of that bond with intimacy of another sort.

Charlie: Yeah, okay, maybe, but just a second. There's no way I am confusing the signals that you were sending me.

Dorian: Signals?

Charlie: Yeah.

Dorian: What signals? Ha ha! Those were mere flirtations.

Charlie: Wh--what are you talking about? The time you tried to kiss me when Jack took that picture? That wasn't innocent.

Dorian: I never dreamed that you would betray your wife!

Charlie: But you were trying to get me to betray my wife! I mean, look at the way you were just kissing me!

Dorian: Man up! You kissed me, and frankly I am appalled at your behavior!

Charlie: Look, Dorian, come on, it takes two to tango. Ow! Jeez!

Dorian: I hurt you. I hope I hurt you bad! You have no respect. You have no control. And Viki deserves better. And frankly I will not be a party to such a tawdry betrayal.

Charlie: What are you talking about? You were just calling her every name in the book!

Dorian: That doesn't mean that I would try and steal her husband!

Charlie: Look, Dorian, why don't you come clean here. You did not stop what was happening because of your feelings for Viki. You stopped because of feelings for someone else.

Dorian: Huh.

Viki: Your feelings for me are what's stopping you? Shouldn't it be the opposite?

David: When you said Charlie was succumbing to Dorian's charms, I thought, "Finally. Viki and I can act out the fantasy she has about me."

Viki: And now we can.

David: And we would in a heartbeat...if only Charlie was really falling for Dorian, and who would blame him. That woman's a sexual firecracker.

Viki: Uh, what do you mean by that?

David: Viki, I know you wouldn't think that Dorian wouldn't be the kind of woman who knew her way around a kitchen, but give her a spatula and a 6-burner stove, and she--wait a second. I see what you're doing.

Viki: You do?

David: Oh, yeah. You're using Dorian to seduce me, and I like it.

Viki: So that means that your feelings for Dorian...

David: Aren't nothing compared to your feelings for Charlie, and I'm telling you something, he's coming back. And as nice as a roll in the hay with me would be for you, I'm thinking about your marriage, and what kind of friend would I be if I let you destroy that?

Viki: But, David--

David: I know, you're disappointed.

Viki: Yes. Yes, I am.

David: Of course you are. You're only human. I got to tell you, I'm thinking about myself, too, and our friendship. I don't want to lose you as a friend just to take you on as one of my many lovers.

Viki: David. You can't fool me. Why don't you just admit who this is really about?

Jessica: Uh, thank you. No, no. It's okay. I understand. Um, our GP can't see us until tomorrow.

Natalie: No. I think that's too long to wait.

Jessica: You're right. I don't want to spread this to Brody or Bree.

Natalie: Yeah, and if I get John sick right when he's in the middle of building a case against Hannah O'Connor, he's gonna be really upset.

Jessica: Speaking of upset.

Natalie: Okay.

Starr: How can you just go? I mean, thinking that you might have left the one great love of your life? Won't you someday look back and regret it? You know that--that you left Langston?

Markko: Langston left me every time she was with Ford.

Cole: Look, look, I don't want Markko to leave either, but this is a great opportunity for him to go to UCLA. It could help make his career, and it's not like we won't be friends forever. So maybe we should be happy for him instead of making it worse than it already is.

Starr: Okay, you're right. I'm s--I'm sorry, Markko. I did not mean to make this harder for you. I just know in my heart that Langston loves you. She always will.

Charlie: Come on, admit it, Dorian. You did not turn me down because of Viki. You did it because of David Vickers.

Dorian: Have you no shame? I turned you down, period.

Charlie: Yeah, but for no good reason!

Dorian: You know what, Charlie? I was willing to let you tuck your tail between your legs and let you go home to Viki with nary a word from me, but no! I am not going to allow you to hurt Viki this way!

Charlie: What--no! Since when do you care about hurting Viki?

Dorian: Okay! Viki and I have had our differences in the past, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow her to be made a fool of by the likes of you! She deserves to know what kind of a scoundrel she married.

Charlie: Okay, no. D-Dorian. Dor--Dorian, wait. Aw...

Viki: You can be honest with me. Just tell me, who--who is in your heart?

David: I know it's hard for you to believe--it's hard for me to believe--but I choose to. I choose to respect your marriage.

[Cell phone rings]

Viki: Ah! It's Charlie!

David: It's a sign! Do you think he knows?

Viki: Charlie? How is it going with Dorian?

Charlie: Yeah, Houston, we got a problem.

Viki: What do you mean? What happened?

Charlie: Plan's gone bust. I did everything I could think of to make Dorian admit that she still wants David, but...

Viki: And?

Charlie: She's on her way over to see you right now. She's gonna rat me out for trying to cheat on you.

Viki: Oh. That's bad news.

Charlie: Yeah. Any luck with David?

Viki: No. No, but Charlie, you have to give me one more chance.

Charlie: Sure. What--wait--

Viki: Charlie, I need one more chance, please?

Charlie: One more chance?

Viki: You have to give me one more chance to...Charlie? Charlie, are you there? He's not there.

David: What happened? What did he say? Are you all right? What did--ah...10 words. First word blind, blind. Blind prayer.

Viki: No!

David: Blind priest!

Viki: He's leaving me, David. He just told me that he belongs at La Boulaie...with--with Dorian.

Markko: Well, uh, I was actually on my way to pick up my paycheck before I head out, and Karen's waiting for me to pick her up. We're gonna stock up on snacks before we go.

Cole: You're going with Karen?

Markko: Okay, we've been friends a long time. She's more than just the pizza girl. You know, she's studying acting, so she's hitching a ride to Hollywood with me. No. What? Where did you even get that?

Starr: I got it at the park stand.

Markko: Thank you.

Starr: I am going to miss you, Geraldo Rivera.

Markko: If I ever get famous, I am not using that name.

Starr: Oh, good, 'cause I think it's already taken. Ha ha!

Cole: Will you remember us when you're a hotshot director?

Markko: I will never forget you guys. Ever. I'll never have friends like you.

Cole: Yeah. We were something, weren't we...the 4 of us?

Man: Only with you it feels forever what would I do? If I could count all the days I never thought I could change my sky to blue my life is changing for the better because I have you well, I where would we be? Where would we be? My life is changing for the better because I have you because I have you

Cristian: Hey, Evangeline. Layla's right. I used to be able to look at you and know that... deep down inside you were still in there. But now I'm not so sure. One thing we both know Layla's wrong about...I don't always know what to do. I sure don't know what to do about this... about you. I mean, I'm not sure if it's just because Layla and I can't stand seeing you this way or if we're being selfish because we can't look past these...machines to that incredible woman we remember. I miss... I wish I could believe the way your mom does. I wish I could believe that you'll get better. But I really wish I knew is if you wanted this...if you wanted to keep living without a... without really being alive.

Layla: Why are you lighting a fire? It's summer.

Mrs. Williamson: What are you doing here? Why aren't you with your sister?

Layla: What is that?

Mrs. Williamson: It's nothing.

Viki: He's leaving me.

David: What? I thought he was a decent man! I thought he loved you! And I thought your marriage was so special I couldn't destroy it! And that's saying something.

Viki: No one--no one wants me, David. Not even you.

David: No, Viki, that is not at all true. I just didn't want to ruin your marriage to Charlie. Listen to me, now that he's out of the picture, oh, the places we can go.

Viki: Uh, wait, wait, David, wait.

David: What are you doing?

Viki: I am double-locking the door, and that way, no one can interrupt us.

David: Oh, good thinking. Ha ha.

Starr: Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much.

Cole: You know, I'm not ready for the big good-bye, so...I'm gonna walk him to the car, okay? All right, be right back.

Cole: Gonna eat that?

Markko: Yes, I am.

Cole: Thought you'd stay out of trouble.

Starr: Oh. Oh, you just missed Markko.

Langston: Yeah. We said our good-byes this morning.

Starr: Are you okay?

Langston: No. But I had to let him go.

Starr: You both had to let each other go. I get that now.

Natalie: That's it. I don't care if David didn't get sick. We cannot wait until tomorrow to find out what's wrong with us.

Jessica: Oh, so you think we, what, we should go to the hospital?

Natalie: Yeah. Yeah. I really do, and I think that we should get these dropped off at the lab and get them checked out.

Jessica: You think David tried to slip us something...

Natalie: So he could...

Jessica: Do whatever he was doing with our mother?

Natalie: Okay, you know what, no! You went there! Ew!

Jessica: Oh, my God!

Natalie: I'm gonna get sick again. Oh!

David: Don't you worry, my pet. My flower, my defenseless doe in the woods...

Viki: Doe?

David: You are about to forget all about Charlie. Let me tell you why.

Viki: Oh.

David: Because I'm about to make you feel better than you've ever felt in your entire life.

Viki: Oh, ha ha.

Cristian: Evangeline, there's something I want to tell you. If... if, um, if part of you is still left in there... if, uh... by some chance you can hear me through all these machines...

Cristian: I need you to know that... I never stopped loving you.

Mrs. Williamson: What are you doing? Give that back to me!

Layla: No! Give it to me! Give it to me! What don't you want me to see?

David: All right, here we go. Now, I hope you understand ordinarily I fetch a high price for this, but for you Viki, we'll just say it's in lieu of my room and board. Right now time for love.

Dorian: Victoria!

Viki: Uh, David, uh, shouldn't I get changed first?

David: Absolutely.

Viki: Oh, my goodness, yes. Uh, okay.

David: Viki, can you believe it's been 3 years since I was naked in bed with you?

Viki: Yes, yes. But, uh, nothing happened then.

David: That was then and this is now, baby.

Viki: Yeah.

David: Earth's gonna move. Enter the arena.

Viki: Ha ha. Okay, here we go.

David: Oh, do you have a video camera? You're probably gonna want to tape this.

Charlie: Viki? Huh. Ugh. Huh.

Viki: Now, that's a good idea. Let me just go and get it.

Dorian: Victoria!

[Pounding on door]

Dorian: I have to talk to you! I-it's about your Charlie. He tried... to get me into bed.

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