One Life to Live Transcript Monday 1/11/10


Episode # 10601 ~ Mitch Ado About Something

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

Clint: I don't know what you thought of Houston, but Houston absolutely loved you. The wildcatters are lining up to get on board.

Kim: Clint, you put the deal together. I was just a little sugar in their coffee.

Clint: That's what I like about you. You're upfront, and you tell it like it is.

Kim: I don't like to waste anybody's time.

Clint: You know, to be honest, I scheduled this whole trip just to get away from the mess with Bo and Nora, but as it turns out, I -- I had fun. I actually had a little fun. So why don't you take the rest of the day off? You earned it.

Kim: Okay. Whatever you say, boss.

Clint: All right. I'll see you.

Kim: Thanks. Yee haw!

Stacy: So Texas went well?

Kim: We did the deal, and Clint gave me all the credit.

Stacy: Congratulations. Want to know how my day went?

Kim: Always.

Stacy: Mitch Laurence tried to kill me.

Kim: What?

Charlie: How the hell could they let that bastard walk?

Viki: Well, I expect that, you know, Mitch Laurence probably has something on Stan Lowell. But the big question here is, why did Dorian hire him, and why would she allow him to do it? Because she loathes Mitch Laurence. She wants to see him prosecuted as much as we do.

Bo: Well, there's more.

Viki: What?

Bo: Lowell had John arrested.

Charlie: John's behind bars?

Natalie: For something he didn't do. Mom, Charlie, we need to talk.

Eli: So then, Officer, there's nothing else I need to know before we head over to your arraignment?

John: Nope.

Eli: All right. Well, just so you know, this new commissioner has his sights set on you.

[Stan sighs]

Nora: Excuse me, please. Commissioner.

Stan: Yes?

Nora: I can't prosecute John McBain. There's a problem.

Stan: What's the problem? We have the letter opener used in the assault. McBain's prints are all over it.

Nora: Yeah. That's -- that's the problem.

Stan: What is this?

Jessica: I would like to confess. I stabbed Mitch Laurence.

Mitch: "Mitch Laurence will not stand trial." And I owe it all to my devoted wife. I'll tell you, appointing Stanley Lowell -- brilliant move.

Dorian: One, I am not your wife. I had that disaster annulled. Two, Lowell was not my idea. I hired him because you forced me to. Now that we've got that cleared up, here's your breakfast. Please eat it. Then you can leave, and I can call the fumigator. Bon appétit.

Blair: Oh, there's our little mama. Wow. You look a little sleepy this morning.

Starr: I barely slept last night.

Todd: What happened?

Starr: Oh, Langston snores, and Hope thinks it's hilarious, so between the two of them, I was up half the night.

Todd: Why don't you get to your own room, huh? The office, maybe? My den? There's plenty of room.

Starr: The 7 of us landed on your doorstep last night, and you want us to stay?

Todd: You're my family.

Starr: You're lonely. Admit it. The only reason why you're trying to make this work is because you miss Téa.

Blair: Don't you look at me.

Starr: Mom didn't say anything. It's obvious. You want Téa back.

Téa: You ready to go down to the beach? That's why we came here, honey, to say good-bye to Ross.

Dani: No, I can't.

Téa: Come on. We'll do it together.

Dani: How can I say good-bye? I keep expecting him to walk through the door. 

Mitch: Man, I slept like a baby last night. The house was so quiet.

Dorian: Yes. Maybe that's because my entire family moved out when they found out that I had appointed Stanley Lowell as police commissioner. The man is a menace. So are you, and the sooner you eat your breakfast and leave, the happier I'm going to be.

Mitch: Hmm. You were such a gracious hostess once. I have to tell you, these eggs -- why, they look almost irresistible. Did you poison them? Ha ha ha!

Dorian: Poison would never work on you.

Mitch: No, indeed. You know, if anything should happen to me, I can't promise that Starr would ever leave her father's house. That is where your Cramer girls spent the night, isn't it? At Todd's?

Dorian: Well, I guess you're not hungry, are you?

Todd: You guys being here has nothing to do with Téa. It's just that [Indistinct] Lowell as commissioner now. I want you where I can see you.

Starr: Well, thank you, Dad.

Blair: Look at this. Lowell's first official act as commissioner was to release Mitch Laurence and clear him of all of his charges.

Starr: Well, great. Now we can never go home.

Blair: Well, maybe Dorian will smarten up and hire him and then rehire Bo.

Starr: And "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride."

Todd: You been reading in the toilet or something?

Starr: "Quotable quotes"? No, I never heard of that.

Blair: [Chuckles] Look at you. She made you smile.

Todd: Oh, yeah. I love my family. How'd you sleep?

Blair: I'm fine. I slept fine. As long as I don't have to walk into the Téa Delgado/Marty Saybrooke honeymoon suite, I'm gonna be just groovy. But don't you worry. I'll be out of your hair in no time.

Todd: Where you going?

Blair: I've got my options. You know, Starr is right. You can't expect a half dozen people to fill a hole left by a certain someone.

Todd: That was not a quotable quote.

Blair: No, it was not, but it's true nonetheless. The best way for you to get over Téa is to get something else going with somebody else.

Todd: Who? You?

Téa: How about we don't think about it like saying good-bye, but we're paying our respects, okay? We'll say a prayer in a place that he loved. It'll make you feel better, okay?

Dani: I hope so.

Bo: Natalie --

Natalie: No, I need to tell the truth. It's important, and this is exactly what Jared would want me to do.

Clint: What the hell is this? Dorian hires Lowell. Then he turns around and lets Mitch Laurence out of jail?

Bo: Well, after you talked her into firing me.

Clint: Oh, please. Don't try to blame this on me.

Bo: I saw you two all chummy right before --

Clint: We were not --

Viki: Excuse me. Clint, Bo. This is not the time.

Charlie: They didn't just let Laurence out. They cleared him of all charges. He's out on the street.

Viki: Well, that doesn't mean that the charges couldn't be reinstated, right?

Bo: Not as long as Lowell is commissioner.

Natalie: Okay, can I please just finish what I came here to say?

Viki: Yes. I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Bo: Natalie, this isn't gonna change anything.

Clint: Hey, don't tell my daughter what to do, all right?

Natalie: Okay. For God's sake. I stabbed Mitch Laurence. I just thought he was gonna get away with everything. He's getting away with murdering Jared. I saw the letter opener on Jared's desk. I took it, and I went to the police station, and I stabbed him. John's been covering for me, but now that he's been arrested, I have to come forward.

Clint: Oh, sweetheart.

Bo: Natalie, please. Let Nora handle this.

Nora: Thank you for coming in, Jessica. An officer will take your statement.

Stan: You can't possibly take that woman seriously. She's a mental patient.

Nora: Well --

Marty: Commissioner Lowell --

Stan: I'm in the middle of something, Miss Saybrooke.

Marty: It's Dr. Saybrooke. And I need to confess to the stabbing of Mitch Laurence. I must have been in a fugue state at the time.

Stan: You're in your right mind now, confessing to something you know you didn't do?

Marty: I stabbed him.

Stan: Get out of my office.

Nora: Thank you for coming forward, Dr. Saybrooke. An officer will take your statement.

Cole: Commissioner Lowell?

Stan: What?

Cole: I stabbed Mitch Laurence with this.

Eli: Of course, when they ask for your plea, it's not guilty.

John: What's going on?

Nora: Okay, well, it would appear that you had several suspects coming forth and confessing to the same crime, each bringing with them a letter opener with what looks like traces of blood and, I'm sure, their fingerprints, so how would you like me to proceed, Commissioner?

John: What are you doing here?

Marty: I just confessed to stabbing Mitch.

John: What?

Jessica: So did I.

Cole: We all did.

John: But none of you did it.

Marty: Neither did you.

Stan: McBain is guilty.

Nora: Not according to this little pile of evidence that you have on your desk, so until you sort it out, I can't proceed to trial, Commissioner.

Officer: I have to take John down for arraignment.

Nora: Uh, just a minute. We have some new evidence in this case.

Officer: Is that so?

Nora: Yeah.

Eli: Commissioner, I understand you're in possession of some evidence exonerating my client. I suggest you drop the charges immediately.

Nora: And since any judge in their right mind would dismiss this case, my office would have to concur.

Stan: Don't think you can't be impeached.

Nora: You know, it's actually your job I'd be worrying about, Commissioner, really. I think the press is all up in arms since you made the decision to let Mitch Laurence go, and if you keep this personal vendetta going with John McBain, they're gonna -- they're gonna really want to look into an investigation or maybe ask for your resignation, and then I think the people you work for would be very disappointed.

Stan: Uncuff the prisoner.

Eli: So the charges are dropped?

Stan: Yes. But, McBain, you're fired.

Clint: Natalie, I promise everything's gonna be all right. I am gonna hire the best attorney in the country. You will not do a day of time. I guarantee it.

Bo: If you hold off till later, I can promise you --

Charlie: As if your promises mean anything, Bo.

Viki: Oh, Clint, please. This is serious. I think we need to listen to Bo. He knows a lot more about the workings of the police department than we do.

Charlie: Everything's gonna be all right, honey. Viki, um, there's something I need to take care of.

Bo: Look, if you hold off till later, I'm sure that we can sort this whole thing out.

Viki: I know how hard this is --

Charlie: No, look, it's bad enough that he had to murder Jared right in front of her. But then to drive her to this? I mean --

Viki: Where are you going?

Charlie: No, look, I'm not gonna -- I'm not gonna drink, okay? So don't worry about that. There's just something I've got to do.

Viki: Well --

Charlie: No, you stay here with Natalie. She needs you, hmm?

Stacy: So Mitch and his nut-job nurse were gonna drag me off to some godforsaken place where I was gonna have the child and then hand it over to them, at which point Mitch says he has no use for me. Yeah. You read in between the lines.

Kim: Damn.

Stacy: You should have seen the nurse. It was the same one who gave me the stem cells. She came out with this foot-long needle. Got the drop on her. Poked her first.

Kim: Good for you.

Stacy: There's no way I was letting that stuff get near my baby and me.

Kim: See? I told you that class would come in handy.

Stacy: Mistress Helga's self-defense for sexy girls. Best hundred bucks I ever spent. So anyway, Mitch comes in the door totally expecting me to be passed out, but there I am, up and at 'em. There was no way he was dragging me out of here alive. So then that nurse wakes up. Bitch. Two against one. If Rex hadn't came in, I would have been nothing but a memory.

Kim: God. So, what did Rex do?

Stacy: He got in Mitch's face. Mitch tried to lie and say, "Oh, I was just coming to check on my grandkid," but Rex threw them both out.

Kim: Wow.

Stacy: He was so worried about me and the baby. He was all over me, Kim.

Kim: So I guess Mitch Laurence is good for something.

Stacy: Oh, there's nothing good about that man.

Dorian: I kept my side of the bargain. Bo is out. Lowell is in. We're done. This isn't an open-ended agreement. I only did what you wanted me to do because you promised you would stop threatening my girls.

Mitch: Oh, did I say that? Gee, I'm sorry, Dorian. No, no, no. We've only just begun.

Blair: What you need, Todd, is a simple pleasure.

Blair: With you and me, it's never simple.

Todd: So, what? Are we gonna be friends now? How is that gonna work? Because I can't recall a time when you haven't been trying to get me into bed.

Blair: Oh, now, let's remember correctly. See, I remember this -- you never putting up a fight there. Uh-huh. So yeah. Friends.

Todd: Friends. What a concept.

Blair: Mm-hmm. You heard from Téa?

Todd: No, and I'm not going to. That's the deal.

Blair: What do you mean, "That’s the deal"? You two had a kid -- Dani. You're gonna hear from Téa.

Todd: Dani hates me, which of course is understandable. I killed Ross, so she's not gonna forgive me, and if she doesn't forgive me, then Téa's never gonna tell her that I'm her father.

Stacy: You know, you missed a lot when you were away. Guess who told Rex they're over and she's hooking up with Schuyler.

Kim: You're not serious.

Stacy: Not only is Gigi hooking up with Schuy and moving on, but, um, Rex is moving out of the carriage house, and -- wait for it -- he's moving back in here.

Kim: You rule, girl.

Stacy: Right back at you.

Kim: We are so good. Think about it. We're just two chicks from Vegas who couldn't rub two pennies together, and now we're getting everything we want. We should be running, like, major corporations.

Stacy: No way. Small countries.

Kim: Big ones.

Stacy: So when are you gonna move out?

Kim: What's that?

Dorian: How long do you intend to keep this up?

Mitch: Oh, not to worry, Dorian. There's just one more thing I need from you.

Dorian: Oh, ho ho ho. You can forget that.

Mitch: Oh, no. That'll come in due time, though. I have more pressing needs. My mission requires funds.

Dorian: I can't be writing you checks. The watchdogs would be all over me.

Mitch: Well, I don't have a problem with cash.

[Doorbell rings]

Dorian: Stay out of sight, for both our sakes.

Charlie: How the hell do you live with yourself?

John: Tell me something, Stan. Did Dorian tell you to fire me, or did you come up with that one all on your own?

Stan: I want your badge, McBain.

Eli: Wait a minute. As I understand it, Commissioner, you dropped the charges because there was no evidence. There were no terms. Now, if you want to fire John without cause --

Stan: You want cause? Take it up with I.A.D.

Brody: If John's out, I'm out, too.

John: No, don't do that, Brody, all right? You got your whole career ahead of you. Don't throw it away over this. I don't want help, okay?

Brody: I hear you.

Stan: You two want to get a room, or can we get back to business here?

Brody: Oh, absolutely, sir. Sorry, sir.

Nora: Oh, don't apologize, Officer. I know that the mayor -- uh, commissioner appreciates your loyalty. Other than that, he'd have to explain to the press why he has a mass exodus on his hands.

Eli: My client and I will be in touch, Commissioner.

Stan: Yeah? I can't wait.

[Door slams]

Eli: Well, that was interesting. At least those charges are dropped. If you want to pursue the wrongful termination suit --

John: Later.

Eli: Fair enough.

John: So, now that was, uh, amazing. Dumb but amazing.

Marty: I think it was quite brilliant.

John: Did you?

Cole: Hey, I got to go. I'm really glad you didn't have to go to jail. I just wish we could have saved your job.

John: I'm fine, Cole. Thank you for what you did.

Marty: Actually, I got to get going, too. I've got some patients.

John: Oh. Hey, thank you. I know -- I know you weren't exactly happy about me covering for Natalie.

Marty: It's over. It's over, and I'm just sorry about your job. I know how much that means to you.

John: It's not the most important thing in my life.

Marty: I just don't see how they can take your job.

John: Forget about it. I'll be a bar owner for a while.

Marty: Yeah. Something tells me you're not gonna be happy with just that.

John: Don't worry. I got a couple more things up my sleeve.

[Cell phone rings]

Eli: Took you long enough.

Blair: What's up, Counselor?

Téa: That was beautiful. Water, waves, what you said about Ross. I'll never forget that.

Dani: He was such a great dad.

Téa: I'm glad you feel that way, mija. I'm gonna go get a brush, get the sand out of my hair.

Ross: Dani! I love you.

Dani: Daddy!

Téa: What's that?

[Cell phone rings]

Mitch: Hello, Commissioner. I trust you're calling me with news of John McBain's arraignment.

Dorian: Okay, Charlie, come in.

Charlie: Well, Mitch Laurence is a free man because of you.

Dorian: I had nothing to do with it. Uh, actually, Stan Lowell reviewed the case, and he saw fit to drop the --

Charlie: Look, there's nothing fit about Stan Lowell. Okay, how the hell you even came to appoint him. The man is a crook, and then to set free the man who has tortured Viki and her family for years. I mean, he killed my son!

Dorian: I know, Charlie.

Charlie: No, you don't know it. Well, what if it had been your kid, huh, laying there in the dust, in the dirt with a bullet in her? How would you feel then, huh?

Dorian: Devastated. Believe me -- I didn't want -- Mitch Laurence let out of jail any more than you.

Charlie: For God's sake, fire Lowell!

Stan: The D.A. pulled a fast one. I had to dismiss the charges.

Mitch: Stanley, I raised you up. Don't make me cast you down.

Stan: You don't understand. I had no choice.

Mitch: Oh, we always have a choice, Stanley. Remember, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

Eli: I'm down at the station.

Blair: You have time for a break?

Eli: Hmm. Yeah, I suppose I could squeeze you in.

Man: I have to go talk to the press. I'll be back later.

Blair: Okay. How about I meet you at your hotel, then?

Eli: You know what? I actually got a better idea.

Natalie: Oh, well, I have to come forward. With John being behind bars now, I --

Nora: He's not anymore.

John: I've been cleared. It seems that Bo and Nora came up with something on the down low.

Clint: Well, that's no surprise. That's their stock in trade.

Nora: The bottom line is John is not gonna be prosecuted for stabbing Mitch Laurence and nobody else is.

John: It seems the D.A.'s office couldn't make a case -- against anyone.

Viki: Oh, well, thank God for that.

Clint: Yeah, thank God, honey. Listen, I'll see you a little later, all right, when it's not so crowded. Excuse me. Excuse me, John.

John: Sure.

Nora: Excuse me. Clint, come on, wait a minute. Really? It's gonna be like this? We can't even try to make it a little more friendly?

Clint: I wanted to be your husband. After what you did to me, no, I don't want to be friendly. I'll have my attorneys call you about the divorce.

[Door opens and closes]

Natalie: Thank you. You'd have gone to prison for me. Why would you do that?

John: You know why.

Todd: So your 18th birthday is coming up.

Starr: I know. I can't wait.

Todd: I know. Me either. And I'd like to make it special for you, so whatever you want.

[Doorbell rings]

Starr: Oh. I'll get that. Ah! Hi!

Cole: Hi.

Starr: Mm. Please tell me that Lowell was fired and that Mitch Laurence is back in jail.

Cole: Not yet, but I do have good news. John was released.

Starr: Oh, that is good news.

Cole: And then Lowell fired him.

Todd: Ha ha!

Cole: Why is that funny? Hmm? Lowell tried to have him killed. He kidnapped Starr and Hope.

Todd: No, I know he did all that, and I hope he fries for it. I do. It doesn't mean I have to change my opinion of John McBain.

Cole: No, you don't have an opinion. You just flat-out hate him 'cause he rescued my mom from the prison you had her in upstairs.

Téa: Dani?

Dani: I was just adding some shells to Dad's collection. Mom, I can take all this stuff with me wherever we're going, right?

Téa: You can take whatever you'd like. I'm gonna go take a shower. I have sand everywhere.

Dani: Ha.

[Door closes]

Dani: Dad?

Stacy: I'm so sorry. I hate to drop this on you all of a sudden.

Kim: Stacy, you got to do what you got to do, girl. I want you to have it all.

Stacy: You, too, and you will. You'll be living in that big mansion on the hill before you know it.

Kim: Yeah, from your lips, girlfriend.

[Knock on door]

Stacy: Okay, if that's Mitch or that screwball nurse, don't open it.

Kim: Clint, hi!

Clint: Oh, hi. Uh, Kimberly, I know earlier I gave you the day off --

Kim: Don't worry about it. Come in.

Clint: All right. Well, here's the deal. I would like you to take some notes because I've decided to jumpstart my divorce, and how about I take you out to lunch to make it up to you?

Kim: Sure.

Clint: Good.

Kim: Only I'm sorry, I just found out I have to move out today, so I really got to pack my stuff and find a place to crash and call a realtor, not that anybody's gonna want to work with me when they find out my price range.

Clint: Well, I happen to know of a very nice place, and I guarantee you it's in your price range.

Kim: Yeah?

Clint: Come stay with me. I got this huge house, and it's mostly empty.

Kim: Really?

Clint: Sure. Why not?

Kim: That's sweet, but I got to say no.

Blair: Okay. I'll bite. Why here?

Eli: Well, you were a very naughty girl the other night. On my account you broke at least a half a dozen laws.

Blair: Such as?

Eli: Disorderly conduct --

Blair: Mmm.

Eli: Disrobing before an officer of the court, assault with a deadly weapon.

Blair: Deadly?

Eli: Huh. Oh, yeah.

Blair: Okay, so -- you turned me in. What's my punishment, Counselor? Mmm –

Dorian: I can't fire him, Charlie.

Charlie: Well, why not?

Dorian: Because I just hired him. It would damage my credibility.

Charlie: Credibility? What are -- okay, look, Mitch Laurence shouldn't even be allowed out on the streets. He killed my son. He drove me to drink.

Dorian: Oh, Charlie, are you drinking again?

Charlie: No, I am not, not now, not today, but after a few go-rounds with that sick son of a bitch, yeah, I slipped, and I would have strangled him, too, with my own bare hands if I hadn't sobered up.

Dorian: Oh, well, we've all had that impulse.

Charlie: You know something? I shouldn't have even come here. I thought maybe I could get through to you, but -- I should have known better.

Dorian: Charlie -- I'm really -- I'm really sorry.

Charlie: No, you're not.

Mitch: What did Charlie Banks want?

Dorian: Huh. Oh, he came over to tell me what a despicable person I am.

Mitch: Oh, but you already knew that. Dorian, you poured a liter of liquor down the man's throat. You practically killed him. You almost ruined his relationship with Viki.

Dorian: Yes. I did do all of that, didn't I?

Bo: What'd my brother have to say?

Nora: Oh, the usual. He hates me, his lawyer will be in touch.

Bo: Oh. This is just gonna take some time, and we have to wait and hope that this whole situation gets better.

Viki: How are you feeling?

Natalie: Huh. Relieved.

Viki: I'm so sorry you felt you had to keep all this to yourself, honey. Maybe it would help to talk?

Natalie: I spoke with Marty, and I -- I don't think I really need a shrink.

Viki: How about a mother? Oh –

Cole: Look, Starr, I'm fine. This always happens when I'm in this house. You know, my mom was locked up there for months.

Todd: Well, you better get used to it -- if you want to see your girlfriend and your baby anymore, 'cause they're here now.

Cole: They don't have to stay here. Starr's almost 18.

Todd: Pardon me?

Cole: Yeah, we talked about this, right, hmm? When you turn 18. So how about it? Do you want to move in with me?

[Starr gasps]

Kim: I appreciate the offer, Clint. I really do, but you're in the middle of a divorce. How's it gonna look if you just move me into your house?

Clint: I don't give a damn what people think. I never have. The simple fact of the matter is you need a place to stay and I've got an awful lot of room. And you'd be doing me a favor because in the past few weeks with everything that's happened, the work's piled up, and you can help me plow through it.

Kim: Are you sure about this?

Clint: Yeah, I'm sure.

Kim: Okay. Then I guess you've got yourself a houseguest.

Viki: Thank you very much, John.

John: I'm just glad everything worked out.

Viki: Yeah.

Natalie: I still can't believe the two of you are unemployed.

Bo: Well, we'll keep busy.

John: Yeah. Check in later.

Viki: Okay. Okay, both of you, I need a promise from you, a serious promise, okay? You've got to let this go now. I know it's horribly unfair and Mitch should pay, but trust me, the only way to hurt him is to get on with your lives, okay? We have to remember what's important. We still have each other, we love each other, and we need each other. And above all, Bree needs us, okay, all of us. So I'm begging you -- no heroics.

Jessica: No heroics.

Natalie: Okay, but somebody has to make Mitch Laurence pay.

John: Let's think about a place we could meet so we could come up with a plan. Hey.

Brody: Hey. You want to catch me up?

Bo: Well, we lost our badges, but we're still on the fight. The thing is, Dorian has to pay for everything she's done.

John: Can't let Lowell run the department.

Clint: Or Mitch Laurence get away with murder.

John: But we need someone on the inside.

Brody: Which is why you didn't want me to quit. Count me in.

Bo: John and I will do everything we can from the outside. You -- keep your nose clean.

John: Let us break the rules.

Mitch: [Sniffing] Mmm. Nice rings.

Dorian: It's just cash. No prizes. Now, will you please just go?

Mitch: Oh, word to the wise, Dorian. If I should meet an untimely end and it's traced to you -- even I wouldn't want to imagine what might happen to your charming Cramer girls.

Blair: Aren't you afraid we're gonna get caught?

Eli: I thought you like living dangerously.

Blair: Hmm.


Dani: There's nothing worth eating in the kitchen, and I'm starved.

Téa: You want to go out to lunch?

Dani: I'm not very up for going out.

Téa: Well, how about I go out and get some groceries, you hang out here.

Dani: You don't mind?

Téa: Not at all. I was very proud of you this morning. I have my phone. Call me if you need me, okay?

Dani: Dad?

Starr: Really? Oh, you want us to move in with you?

Todd: No, no, no. There's no way you're moving in with him.

Starr: Dad, I'm turning 18 in a couple of days. You can't stop me.

Todd: Watch me. I'm not gonna lose another daughter.

Starr: Another daughter?

Ross: Hello, sweetheart.

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