One Life to Live Transcript Thursday 9/24/09


Episode # 10530 ~ Rated Ex

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

John: Hey.

Natalie: Oh, sorry. I didn't touch anything. I mean, I had a good teacher.

John: It's okay. We're done here. Forensics got all the photos, fibers, and prints they need.

Natalie: Oh, t-that's great. I mean, does that mean that you found the guy that attacked Jared?

Charlie: Okay, that's all. That's it for lifting today. You're still pretty banged up.

Jared: Oh, I'll live.

[Phone rings]

Charlie: Charlie Banks. What can I do for you? Yeah. Wha -- well... all right. I'll be there.

Jared: Who was that?

Charlie: It was the "Intruder." They want to do an interview.

Jared: Well, isn't Viki over at the high school?

Charlie: Promising the teachers a decent budget, yes, she is, but they want to talk to me.

Jared: To you?

Charlie: Hey, I'm the man behind the woman or so it seems.

Jared: Have you actually ever read the "Intruder"? It makes the "Sun" look like distinguished journalism.

Charlie: Well, so what should I do, wear my loudest tie?

Jared: Yeah! No. Just ask to read a draft of the article before they run it.

Charlie: Well, you know something? I mean, I thought about just ditching out of it, but if I don't do the interview, then they're just gonna tear into me all the more. I'm sure they're very well aware of the fact that I had all those years as an alcoholic.

Jared: Well, Dad, is it worth it?

Charlie: Well, I mean, I knew what I was getting into when I told Viki to run. And to tell you the truth, I really don't care what they say about me.

Jared: Well, at least you're prepared.

Charlie: Yeah, and how about you? You ready for all the attention you're gonna get? Hmm?

[Knock on door]

Dorian: Hello.

Ross: Somebody missed me.

Dorian: Ahem.

Ross: You're not Blair.

Dorian: No, I'm not. And you are Ross Rayburn, Téa Delgado's erstwhile husband.

Ross: Well, come on in.

Dorian: Mi casa, mi cabana.

Ross: Ah, you're Dorian Lord. What are you doing here?

Dorian: I'm here to discuss your options. I can make your wildest dreams come true. Or I can be your worst nightmare. It's your call.

Blair: Dorian! Dorian, you seen my shoe? It's hot pink. Argh!

Starr: Mom.

Blair: Hey, have you seen my shoe like this one?

Starr: Uh, no, sorry. Why are you all dressed up?

Blair: My granddaughter?

Starr: Where is she? She's down for her nap and you're not going to Dad's wedding.

Blair: W -- I was invited.

Starr: Does Téa know that you're going?

Blair: Sure.

Starr: That you're really going?

Blair: Why not? Oh, come on, I think it would be a good thing that I show up and act like a civilized adult for once.

Starr: You want to try again?

Todd: I don't know, we're gonna miss our own wedding unless we get out of here.

Téa: I know.

Todd: All right, so, what's so important?

Téa: I don't know quite where to begin.

Todd: All right, just spit it out, okay? What's this big secret?

John: Hey, listen, I'm sorry about, uh, the questioning yesterday in the E.R., you know, but a Vic's memories are...

Natalie: Freshest right after the incident. I know, and I'm sorry that I attacked you. I just think I was just worried about him. That's how I am.

John: I know. Wait'll we get some feedback from the lab.

Natalie: Really? From his clothes?

John: No. They analyzed the security tapes, and they found something.

Charlie: You know, we're all fair game now that Viki threw her hat in for every publication like the "Intruder" or an opponent like Dorian Lord. I think we can expect them to be all over us. The drunkard husband, the crazy daughter, the son-in-law who's a crook.

Jared: Yeah, and they'll find a recovering alcoholic, a stable widow with a child, and an ex-con.

Charlie: Well, that's pretty catchy. I think I'll use it.

Jared: It's true.

Charlie: Yeah, but you know, that's what Viki's all about is just that second chance, hope for positive change. And I'll tell you something, if this family is not living proof that all those things are possible, then I don't know what is.

Jared: Ah.

[Knock on door]

Cole: Hey.

Marty: Here you go.

Cole: Hey, what is all this?

Marty: It's called food. There's more to life than cold pizza. Where's your roommate?

Cole: Out with Langston. They're shopping all the second-hand stores for a desk.

Marty: Hey, do you even have a skillet?

Cole: Yeah. Markko bought one. He's actually a pretty good cook. Used to help his mom cook dinner.

Marty: Oh, that's good. How's that going with his folks?

Cole: It's a little better. His mom gave him some money and his dad stopped by.

Marty: Well, I'm glad. It's gotta be hard trying to get ready for college without the support of your family. Hey, um, if you have a little extra time, I could whip up a salad.

Cole: Uh, rain check? Actually I have to meet Starr. We're going to her dad's wedding.

Marty: W-what?

Cole: Wedding.

Marty: Todd's getting married?

Cole: Tonight.

Marty: Well, that was quick. And he would be marrying...

Cole: Téa Delgado.

Marty: Oh, my...ha ha! Sorry, I shouldn't l -- okay, well, she's got to know what she's getting herself into. Ah. It could have been me.

Cole: I know.

Marty: Yeah, if John hadn't found me, that could have been me. And you might not even know that I am alive.   

Téa: Before I came back to Llanview...

[Doorbell rings]

Charlie: Oh, I didn't know you guys were still here. Uh...

Delivery man: Inside?

Charlie: Hey, yeah. Come on, come on. Right in here. There you go. Yeah. You're...still getting married today?

Todd: Yes. That's the plan. Can this wait? Really?

Téa: No, it can't, but obviously we can't talk here.

Todd: All right, fine, let's go home. We'll talk while we're getting ready for our wedding.

Téa: If you still want to marry me after everything I tell you.

Blair: Oh. You know, that I have never really been a fan of Téa’s, right?

Starr: Really?

Blair: Look, if your father wants to marry her, then who am I to question his taste? Actually I think it might be a very good idea if I show up, act civilized. It might help Jack and Sam through the whole ceremony, you know.

Starr: Seeing Téa in her underwear is all it took for Jack.

Blair: Oh, Dorian's right. Jack is acting more like his father every day.

Starr: And that's what makes me question what's really going on here.

Blair: What? Do you think I sound cynical? I'm not. I'm just resigned.

Starr: And why don't I buy that?

Blair: I don't know. Maybe you share my pessimism about this wedding.

Starr: Truthfully I don't care. It's not like anything's gonna change. Dad will always be Dad.

Blair: And Téa will always be, hmm...

Starr: What?

Blair: Téa. You know, if she wants to marry him, good luck to her. I've been down that road way too many times. Some marriages aren't meant to last. And then some are.

Ross: I don't know if I should be talking to you.

Dorian: This is my cabana. How long were you and Téa married?

Ross: And this is your business because?

Dorian: Oh, that's right; I could call the police and remind them that my grandniece and nephew were almost kidnapped --

Ross: Blair is already working on that.

Dorian: So she said.

Ross: What else did she say?

Dorian: She said that she intends to trot you out at Téa and Todd's wedding to prove that Téa is still married to you.

Ross: Well, Blair's just into surprises.

Dorian: Yes, isn't she. But we were talking about Téa. Why is Téa keeping her marriage to you secret? It's not like Todd was faithful to her. He abandoned her on that island. He came paddling back to Blair. It's not like her marrying somebody else is a deal breaker, is it? Oh, but then, you're not talking. It's all right. It doesn't matter. The plan has changed.

Ross: Blair didn't say anything about the plan changing.

Dorian: Oh, that's because Blair doesn't know.

Ross: No, no, no. She and I have a deal.

Dorian: I know the deal. You disrupt the wedding, she drops the charges, and you don't have to hide out anymore. But I can do much more for you. Oh, yes. I can do much, much more. Aha. Will that do?

Ross: Depends. What do you want me to do?

Dorian: Romance Blair. Ha ha!

Blair: Ah! Sam's favorite game -- hiding mama's shoe.

Starr: When I heard that you and Dad were hooking up again, I thought you were gonna have another go at it.

Blair: Do I look crazy?

Starr: Well, you guys were arguing all the time, and it made me sure of it.

Blair: Why?

Starr: 'Cause you always do that when you guys are, you know...

Blair: Your little brother is quite a clever young man.

Starr: And you keep changing the subject.

Blair: Listen, sweetheart, your father is marrying Téa. End of story.

Starr: Just promise me something.

Blair: What?

Starr: There's been a lot of drama in my life lately, and normal feels really, really great. Can you just try, just this once, to have a nice, calm, boring wedding with no surprises? Please?

Todd: Let's take a shower together. Can I see you naked before --

Téa: Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second. I need to talk to you.

Todd: No shower, no naked?

Téa: Listen. After you left me on that island, something happened.

Todd: Yeah, I sent a plane to come get you.

Téa: Well, after that.

Todd: Yes. Argh! I don't want to talk about what happened! I know what happened. I divorced Blair. I remarried Blair. Starr got pregnant. I divorced Blair again. I kept Marty Saybrooke in this house. I planned to steal Starr's baby. What else?

Téa: I'm talking about me, Todd.

Todd: ...Talking about... you can't do anything worse than I've already done. And here we are, and not only have you defended me, you've fallen in love with me, and that's a miracle.

Téa: Stop punching me.

Todd: I don't want to argue about miracles.

Cole: I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

Marty: No, no. Actually I am feeling very lucky right now. I have you. I have my job. I actually didn't expect to be this happy again.

Cole: Yeah, I know.

Marty: You know, the thing with Todd is, it doesn't matter. Whatever he has, it's not good enough, and he obviously needs to be married. Doesn't matter who his bride is. Please don't tell Starr I said that.

Cole: I won't.

Marty: I know. That's a tough family to navigate. There's a lot of minefields.

Cole: Yeah. I just have to make sure that I always have Starr's back, and if Todd tries to do anything to Hope...

Marty: Good for you. I'm really proud of you. You're really making this work.

Cole: I'm trying. Ahem.

Marty: And Téa and Todd. Well, good for them.

Cole: Excuse me?

Marty: No. If it makes life easier for you and the girls, I'm all for it. He's gonna be distracted. I'm starting to understand how he works in his warped view of the world. I actually think he really did think he was given a second chance when he found me.

Cole: He should have taken you to the hospital and told me you were alive.

Marty: Don't get me wrong. I'm not excusing anything. I'm just starting to understand it. It helps me to try to understand it, and now that I've found my way back to John, if Téa and Todd think they're gonna be happy together, great. I've... come to realize you have to let go of some things in order to move on.

Cole: So you and John... Yeah, t-that's enough information for me.

Marty: Okay. Right. Yeah. Just good. I'm just happy. Actually, I think we both are.

Natalie: That's -- that's the guy. You got him.

John: Hmm.

Natalie: What -- wh-what happened? What?

John: That's it. That's all we got. When we scrubbed the room, the camera was broken.

Natalie: Well, how did that happen?

John: I was hoping maybe Jared would know. Here, you see this?

Natalie: Yeah, and the guy's dragging Jared just like he said, like he was gonna be kidnapped.

John: Yeah, that's what he said. He was grabbed, he was dragged, so then the camera's disabled.

Natalie: You think it was because they were fighting?

John: You know, the thing is, these cameras are in very unobtrusive places. That one was hard to spot and even harder to break.

Natalie: What are you saying?

John: The perpetrator knew where the camera was and he smashed it on purpose.

Natalie: Meaning?

John: Meaning it was an inside job.

Cole: So you and John?

Marty: Yeah. We, uh, we kind of had to put things on hold a little bit. I had to work through a few things, and you went undercover, and John was all involved with that, you know. Went back to work. Things just, you know, timing wasn't right, and then it was.

Cole: So is it like -- I mean, is it official?

Marty: It's official.

Cole: I'm very happy for you, Mom.

Marty: Yeah, me, too. I kind of think we're back to where we were.

Natalie: You checked all of the tapes from every security camera?

John: Anyone who entered or left went through the main lobby.

Natalie: No one looks like this guy.

John: Well, we didn't get a good look at his face.

Natalie: Yeah, but you can see what he's wearing.

John: No one entered or left dressed like him.

Natalie: So basically what you're telling me is that someone came into this building with a valid I.D., changed his clothes, and then jumped Jared.

John: And then changed back.

Natalie: Yeah, but Jared said that the guy ran off. I mean, really? He went and changed his clothes?

John: Well, he must have. Else we would have seen him on the surveillance tapes.

Natalie: But if this guy works for B.E., then Jared would have recognized him.

John: Yeah, you'd think.

Blair: Ha ha. I solemnly swear not to fall in a punch bowl, lock Téa in a bathroom, or push her out a window.

Starr: Ha. Mom.

Blair: What?

Starr: Please let them get married. Or if you're going to stop it, do it before the ceremony.

Blair: You're assuming that I could stop the wedding. Your father's bound and determined to marry Téa.

Starr: Okay, well, then you ran away and didn't tell anyone where you were going. You never usually do that. I thought maybe it was because Dad was marrying someone else.

Blair: Okay, well, you caught me there, all right. It is difficult for me to see your dad move on with someone else, especially now that I'm just, you know, closing the door on yet another one of my marriages.

Starr: Right.

Blair: And you know what? John -- I mean, I'm not pining for him, but I hoped that we would always be friends, but he chose Marty.

Starr: And Dad chose Téa.

Blair: Not my call, sweetheart.

Starr: But you're gonna find someone else, Mom. You're an amazing woman, and when you do find that man who deserves you, he's gonna sweep you off your feet.

Dorian: Sweep Blair off her feet. Get her out of Llanview. She needs a vacation. Show her a good time. On me.

Ross: Ahh. Sorry. Wish I could. Trouble is, she's not interested in me.

Dorian: That surprises me.

Ross: Why?

Dorian: She usually goes for your type.

Ross: My type?

Dorian: Feral. And felonious.

Ross: Whatever you say.

Dorian: Indeed.'ll fly off with Blair tonight.

Ross: Listen, if you want me to give Blair a whirl after the wedding...

Dorian: No. Before the wedding.

Ross: No, I can't. Blair wants me to take her to the wedding. That's the point.

Dorian: The point is, if you want my help and this rather sizeable check, you will take Blair away before the ceremony.

Ross: Why?

Dorian: Because...If you do indeed disrupt the wedding, Todd will be furious at Blair. Oh, and then Blair will...and Todd will...and then the two of them will be doing that dance they're always into, and they'll probably end up remarrying again.

Ross: What's wrong with them getting remarried again?

Dorian: Would you want somebody you loved to be married to Todd? Please. Do we have a deal here?

Téa: You're right. It is a miracle we found eh other again.

Todd: Oh, it is. It's definitely a miracle. All right, now, let's get dressed for -- no, no. But I'm serious. This time I want it -- I want it to work, okay? And that means no misunderstandings or surprises.

Todd: All right, I'm an open book.

Téa: Well, I'm not an open book. I need you to know what happened since you left the island. Starting with Ross Rayburn.

Natalie: What are you implying, John?

John: I'm not implying anything. Jared was attacked by somebody who knew his way around B.E. I want to know why.

Natalie: So do I. And so does he.

John: Okay. Can you think of anyone that might have a grudge against him?

Natalie: No, no. Of course not. Everybody loves Jared.

John: Of course. He did blackmail his way into his job here. He did lie about being Asa's son.

Natalie: He took his hits for that and --

John: Yes, well, there still might be someone out there that might resent the fact that he did what he did and still was able to marry the boss' daughter and pull down a big fat paycheck every week.

Natalie: For your information, he did go to business school.

John: He enrolled. He didn't finish anything.

Natalie: And you know why?

John: He did two years in jail for felony theft?

Natalie: Because Tess put him there. I mean, that's the whole reason he came back to Llanview, was so that he could get even. Or are you just not interested in that part?

John: Not really. I'm only interested in the part where I can figure out why somebody doesn't like this guy.

Natalie: Well, no one that I know of.

John: Okay. But you got to admit it's possible there might be somebody out there that doesn't like the fact that Jared's lies caused the company's stocks to plummet.

Natalie: That was the recession.

John: And Nash's death? I mean, the stalker's made it pretty clear how he feels about that.

Natalie: Well, he blames me, too.

John: Yeah, but you weren't attacked.

Natalie: Just say what you're thinking.

John: Has Jared been contacted by anyone he did time with?

Natalie: No. Of course not.

John: You don't know or he hasn't been contacted?

Natalie: John, stop. I mean, why are you making this about Jared?

John: Jared was the one who got beat up. I'm trying to figure out the motive for whoever it is who had it in for him.

Natalie: No, I don't think so. You think he's a suspect. ‘

Charlie: Here.

Jared: Oh.

Charlie: You remember this? Yeah, the paper wanted me to get some photos of the family.

Jared: What was I, 8?

Charlie: That was your eighth birthday. I don't know how I managed it, but somehow I stayed sober for the whole day.

Jared: Well, you made me French toast.

Charlie: And you told me that one of these days you were gonna be so rich that you could have French toast every day for dinner, and then you were gonna have a big house and your own personal chef, and if anybody stood in your way, they better look out.

Jared: I did not say that.

Charlie: The hell you didn't. Listen, you were 8 years old, you looked me right in the eyes and you swore that you were gonna get there and you were gonna bring me with you. 'Cause remember, I used to always say that we were a team and that you could always count on me. [Sniffs]

Jared: That I remember.

Charlie: Kind of weird, isn't it? After all these years... here we are. Big house, a pretty great family.

Blair: I so appreciate your vote of confidence, sweetheart.

Starr: Huh.

Blair: But you know, I don't even have time for romance, not with the boys and now Hope.

Starr: But Hope wants you to be happy just like I do.

Blair: I don't need a man to complete me.

Starr: I didn't say that. Is that what I said?

Blair: No.

Starr: I'm talking about you going on a romantic vacation or just out to dinner? You know, falling in love.

Blair: I have all the love that I need right here in this house, okay? Okay?

Starr: All right, all right. As long as you're okay.

Blair: Ha ha. I know. Oh, my, look at this. The villain of the peace, Sam Manning, you steal mama's shoe one more time, and I'm gonna get you.

Starr: Ha ha!

Blair: Look at you in your tuxedo. You look so handsome I could just eat you.

[Eating sounds]

Jack: Don't worry, Sam, in a couple years, she'll forget all about you.

Blair: Is that right, Mr. Grown up? You come here.

Starr: I'm gonna go get dressed.

Jack: Wait. Sam, tell her. He's upset.

Starr: Why?

Jack: He wants to be best man only he can't because I already am.

Starr: Well, because you're best man, I think Sam should be the coolest one -- the best kid.

Blair: Oh, now --

Starr: That made him happy.

Blair: Ah, not only is she like beautiful, she's a genius. Can you believe it?

Jack: Yeah. Well, maybe she can figure out how we can stop having a stepmother.

Blair: I thought you liked Téa.

Jack: I do, but not as a stepmother.

Blair: Well, you know what? I don't think we actually have to worry about that. I think it's all gonna be just fine.

Dorian: Maui, Kaua'i, or better yet, Australia. Oh, yeah, the surf is even better there and it's so much further away.

Ross: Yeah, I don't know. Huh.

Dorian: Tell you what, take a week, take 10 days. I'll get the charges dropped against you, your divorce finalized.

Ross: Sorry. No. No can do.

Dorian: What? I mean, now you're really being foolish. Do you love Téa that much?

Ross: N-no. This has nothing to do with her, all right? Nothing. We're through.

Dorian: So why won't you take the money?

Ross: I don't want to double-cross Blair.

Dorian: You are turning down the chance to clear your name, earn a small fortune, why? There has to be something else going on here. I -- okay, fine. You keep your secret. Just make sure that Todd marries Téa and stays far away from Blair.

Ross: Ah. I can't help you.

Dorian: Whew.

Dorian: Okay. I'll just keep adding zeroes until you see things my way.

Téa: Well, after you left me on that island to go back to Blair, Ross and I picked up where we left off.

Todd: Well, okay, so you and Ross had a little --

Téa: Yeah. Yeah. You went back to Blair, and I went back to Ross.

Todd: Hey, hey, I understand. I totally get it. I dumped you. Yeah, you were hurt, you were angry and lonely, and he was there. Right?

Téa: Yeah.

Todd: But then you took a plane back to civilization and went your separate ways, right?

Téa: Uh, wrong.

Todd: What does that mean?

Téa: Uh, well... after you left the island, we did not split up, and, um, and there's more.

Marty: Oh, my. Look at you. Wow. Yes! What did you do with the kid in the T-shirt? Oh, oh, I'll take -- can I take a picture?

Cole: Okay, yeah.

Marty: Okay, hold it.

Cole: Mm-hmm.

Marty: Okay, sorry. Ready? One, two, three, pretty.

Cole: Ha ha!

Marty: Great. Aw, that's good. That's really good. Can I send it to Starr?

Cole: Sure.

Marty: Okay. How do I do that? I know, what would I do without you?

Cole: Buy a smarter phone.

Marty: Hey, did you get that psych course you were after?

Cole: Uh, I have to go down to the registrar's office and make sure they have all my transcripts and the form of my G.E.D.

Marty: Could you say that one more time?

Cole: I have to go down to the registrar's off --

Marty: It just sounds so normal.

Cole: Ah. Yes, yes, I know. I'm actually getting to like being boring these days.

Marty: Mm-him. Well, I just have to count my blessings. You safe, back in school, you're working things out with Starr.

Cole: And you and John?

Marty: Yeah. You know, he's just on a new case, and you know how he gets.

Cole: Obsessed.

Marty: Yeah. He gets that faraway look in his eye and gnawing on something.

Cole: Yeah, he'll figure it out.

Marty: Yeah, he will. I just might not see much of him until he does.

Natalie: John, you've got to give this up. Okay? It's stopping you from going after the real perp and that's a real problem because Jared could have been killed or kidnapped, and the next time it might be Jessica or me. And if that happens... it's all on you. Because Jared wouldn't have had anything to do with it. So is he a suspect?

John: No.

Natalie: Hey, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at home relaxing.

Jared: Luckily I got bored. So do you really think that I'm stalking Natalie's sister?

Dorian: Whatever you're hiding, you can keep it hidden...with this. If you care about Blair at all, you'll help me. So think about it. And if Todd doesn't marry Téa tonight, I'll stop that check.

Ross: Huh.

[Knock on door]

Ross: Lady, this isn't gonna work.

Blair: What isn't going to work?

Ross: This isn't going to work. I can't -- you look -- you look gorgeous, by the way.

Blair: Well, thank you. Here, put this on.

Ross: What's this?

Blair: It's a tux. We are going to a wedding. Come on.

Ross: Oh, uh...

Blair: Dude, come on.

Ross: Dude. Dude. Turn around.

Blair: Ah!

Ross: All right.

Blair: Hurry up. Come on. Nothing can go wrong tonight.

Todd: Téa, big deal. You stepped out of civilization for a while with Ross Rayburn, but then you rejoined society, right? You came back here for work. You came back for a case, and you're --

Téa: That's not why I came back. I came back here for you.

Todd: Yes, I know. It's because I'm irresistible. Now --

Téa: No. Listen, I'm not joking, okay?

Todd: Is this really your big secret? That you fooled around with the hired help? I don't care. You know, you loosened some sand from your coconuts. Big deal. But you came back to me.

[Doorbell rings]

Téa: Yeah, but not before I --

Todd: Ah! No more! No, no! Hey, all that matters now is you and me. All that matters. Just us. All right? All that other stuff, island, Ross Rayburn, that's in the past. It's done with, okay? We're getting married. Excuse me.

Téa: Yeah.

Todd: Well, gee whiz! Look at these people. Who are these people? Oh, my gosh. Look -- come over here. Let me see this. Oh, you guys look so handsome. I'm almost proud of you.

Jack: Almost?

Téa: Ha ha!

Todd: Yeah.

Starr: Did I get the time wrong?

Todd: No. No, no.

Starr: You both aren't dressed.

Téa: Oh, no. We just -- we got to talking and --

Todd: But we're done with talking. No more talking. No one talks here. All right? Last one out of the shower is a dirty rat.

Jack: Ooh!

Todd: Oh!


Charlie: Yeah, yeah. We got the posters on the lawn cards. Now all we need is a few kids to plaster them all over the neighborhood. Yeah. I don't know, but somehow I think we're gonna be able to find some kid who's eager enough to see his dreams come true.

Jared: So am I a suspect or not?

John: As Natalie was just pointing out, you have no clear motive. But you are the victim and I'm trying to figure out why.

Jared: And the only who's gotten any sort of look at the guy, huh? Honey, John's got to start with me.

Natalie: Okay. I understand that as long as he understands that you're a victim and not a suspect.

Jared: Huh. She loves me.

John: I can see that.

Jared: I love her. We're married. If you have any questions, I'd appreciate it if you'd talk to us together. Plus she'll just try to knock your block off if you get her alone.

John: Good point.

Jared: Ha.

John: Hey, uh, while I'm here, you don't happen to remember how the security camera got smashed, do you?

Jared: Ha. Not really. The guy latched onto my back. I tried to shake him off and all kinds of stuff went flying.

Natalie: Maybe something hit the camera.

Jared: Honestly, I was just trying to get him off of me. I wasn't really thinking about the camera.

John: It's understandable. Feel better. Let me know if you remember anything.

Jared: Will do.

Natalie: So what are you doing here? You should be at home, by the pool.

Jared: No one is laying by the pool. What?

Natalie: John is looking into your background.

Jared: Sweetie, he has to if he wants to try to figure out who tried to kill me.

Natalie: Still, I, um... I think that John thinks that you're involved somehow.

Jared: But I'm not. Don't worry about it.

Cole: You ready?

Marty: Yeah. Can you make sure Starr gets that photo?

Cole: I will.

Marty: And wish the happy couple all the best.

Cole: Really?

Marty: Too much? No, I want this, seriously, I really do want this to be a new beginning for all of us, okay?

Cole: Well...

Jack: You know what they call really hot stepmothers?

Todd: Yes, I do, and if you say it in front of your brother, I'm gonna ground you for life.

Jack: Okay, gosh.

Starr: Dad, you can't be nervous.

Todd: Why not?

Starr: How many times have you walked down that aisle?

Todd: Too many, but this is the last time. This marriage is gonna work forever.

Blair: We have to wait until all the guests arrive and the ceremony has started, and then we make our grand entrance.

Ross: You can turn around.

Blair: Wow. You look -- you look nice. So you know the plan. We've got to surprise Téa.

Ross: I know the plan.

Blair: All right. Let's go crash a wedding. Come on.

Ross: Well, maybe not.

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