One Life to Live Transcript Thursday 9/17/09


Episode # 10525 ~ Politics as Unusual

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

Charlie: I got to say this. Look, whatever you did, Dorian, to get the mayor to resign, you've got to realize that that practically guarantees a win for Viki. I mean, I don't expect you to be happy for her, but you've got to face facts. She is gonna be Llanview's next mayor.

Dorian: I don't think so.

Charlie: She's running unopposed!

Dorian: No, she isn’t.

Viki: Okay, Dorian. Who is running against me?

Dorian: I am.

Blair: Ross? Ross?!

Ross: Over here.

Blair: What the hell are you doing out here?

Ross: I'm just soaking up some rays, baby. Could you--a little? ...Just blocked my sun.

Blair: No, don't! Get back in there, or I'm gonna put my foot where the sun doesn't shine! Now, come on!

Ross: Relax. No one's around.

Blair: Somebody could be around. If Todd and Téa come out here and see you, our plan is shot to hell!

Téa: Todd, you know what? Maybe we should wait to tell the kids we're engaged. I mean, you're still all messed up from last night.

Todd: No, I'm fine.

Téa: Well, poor Starr has been through hell, and...

Todd: Yeah. She could use some good news.

Téa: Listen. We think this is good news, but I don't know what your kids are gonna think.

Todd: Téa, I almost got killed last night. I don't want to waste any more time, all right?

Téa: Listen. Jack is not going to be thrilled. You know that.

Todd: Look, you know he loves you, right? You guys watch wrestling together.

Téa: He calls me half-naked lady. And I'm not his mother.

Todd: Look, the hard part is over. Blair figured it out and she's got no problem with it, so the rest is smooth sailing. Come on.

[Téa sighs]

Oliver: "If your parents are in shock, tell them you loved me yesterday before I told you. I haven't changed since then. I am still the same person that I was yesterday." But who exactly is that person?

Layla: Good! You're actually reading it. I figured you'd burn it by now--you know, destroy the evidence?

Oliver: Well, I thought I'd at least skim it before my parents come tomorrow.

Layla: So you're gonna tell them you're gay?

Oliver: Absolutely not.

Cristian: So you're Oliver Fish's parents?

Barbara: As far as we know.

Cristian: But you're not supposed to be here until tomorrow.

George: Well, we couldn't wait. Not after we found out that our son is a hero.

Barbara: And since you know our travel plans, you must know our Oliver.

Cristian: I'm learning more about him every day.

David: Bev, hold on a second. I don't think I heard you correctly. Ford has recast me with who? Oh, that's impossible. Well--well, then you've got to find me another job. I'm completely out of cash. I'll do anything: Infomercials, emergency broadcast announcements. I'd even--look, I would be perfect daytime-extra work. You just got to get me out of Llanview! Wait, hold on a second. Bev, I got to call you back.

Newscaster: ...For a special report. Mayor Stanley Lowell’s recently appointed campaign manager, Dr. Dorian Lord, is issuing a statement.

David: What are you up to now, Dorian, and how do I make it work for me?

Clint: Your mother's on the news. So is Dorian.

Natalie: Uh-huh.

Dorian: Don't look so surprised. I have a long history of serving my community, not just as a medical doctor but as Chief of Staff of Llanview Hospital, as a journalist. Taking public office is just a natural extension of my civic spirit. Now, if you follow me, I'll be happy to take your questions.

Viki: Dorian, you haven't taken anything yet.

Dorian: Oh, but I will. I hope you didn't think this election was a fait accompli, because you are in for the fight of your life. 

Reporter: What qualifications do you have to be mayor of Llanview?

Dorian: I'm so glad you asked that question. I have been a medical doctor. I have served as chairman of the board of Llanview Hospital. But importantly, I was U.S. Ambassador to a key and strategic European country.

Charlie: Okay, this is turning into a circus. Can we get out of here while we're still young?

Viki: No, no, no, no. If Mendorra is a key and strategic country, I can't wait to hear what else she has to say.

Dorian: Though, admittedly, it's going to surprise and make a lot of people nervous. But those are people who want to maintain the status quo, which is entirely why I am running. Because I want to offer the citizens of Llanview a real chance for change.

Viki: "Change"? Dorian--excuse me. Two minutes ago, you were campaign manager for the incumbent, a crook. A man who has just been accused of trafficking in drugs and ordering executions! Can we really trust the judgment of this woman who aligned herself with that man?

Clint: Well, Viki and Charlie have their work cut out for them.

Jared: Do you really think anyone is going to take Dorian seriously. This is so obviously another one of her vanity projects.

Natalie: No. Mom is gonna wipe the floor with her. I wonder if Jess saw that. I called her earlier and left her a message. She never called me back. I guess she's too taken up with Brody.

Clint: Well, I'm betting that Jessie will not leave the hospital until Brody does.

Jared: Gonna be a while?

Clint: I don't know. Brody was chomping at the bit to get out of there, and I think he'd want to be with Jess while this stalker is still out there.

Natalie: I just keep wondering, is he really out there? I mean, we haven't heard from him in a while. Maybe--maybe he gave up.

Oliver: You know, some people have it so easy. There's actually a guy in this book whose parents threw him a party when he came out.

Layla: Like a debutant?

Oliver: Yes.

Layla: Nice! Well, who knows? Your parents might--

Oliver: No, no, they won’t. That's something that Kyle’s parents would do.

Layla: How did Kyle’s parents react when he told them?

Oliver: Uh, he didn't tell them. They actually told him. They outed Kyle to himself.

Layla: You're kidding me?

Oliver: No. I'm serious. His parents, when he was growing up, would invite all of their gay friends over all the time just to show him they were cool with it.

Layla: And he still didn't tell them?

Oliver: No. And then one day they sat him down and they said, "We know that you're gay. We've known since you were a kid. We loved you then, and we love you now."

Layla: Wow. I think I want Kyle’s parents.

Oliver: Yeah. Tell me about it.

Layla: Have you talked to him lately?

Oliver: No. You know, Kyle actually wants nothing to do with me. He's seeing a new guy now who takes up all of his time, which is great. And I mean that. You know, Kyle got really screwed up for a while. And he's finally getting it together and moving on with his life, and I couldn't be happier for him.

Layla: Well, maybe you should move on, too. Think what it would be like not to have any secrets from your family anymore.

Oliver: Um, that would be great. But the thought of actually saying the words...

Layla: Hey, you don't have to decide right this second. After all, you still have a day before your parents get here.

George: So how do you know our son Oliver?

Cristian: I'm his roommate.

George: Ah.

Barbara: Oh, you must be Cristian.

Cristian: That's right. That's right. Mrs. Fish, hi. Mr. Fish.

George: Please, call me George.

Cristian: Okay.

Barbara: And I'm Barbara. I should've guessed who you were right away from your muscles.

Cristian: Excuse me?

Barbara: Well, Oliver says you work out a lot. He wasn't exaggerating, was he? Of course, we realize there's more to you than that.

George: We can't wait to get to know you better. Maybe tonight over dinner. How about after you show us your apartment?

Cristian: Right. The apartment. know, we weren't expecting you until tomorrow. The place is a mess.

Barbara: That's all right.

George: No, really, we want to surprise Oliver.

Cristian: Yeah, but maybe I should give him a quick call. I'm sure he'd want to pick up the dirty clothes off the floor.

George: Dirty clothes--that's funny. At home, his room is so neat. That's--ha.

Barbara: I don't care if the place is a disaster area. I can't wait one more second to see my boy.

George: Cristian, lead the way.

Jack: Dad! Téacup!

Todd: Hey, cut that crap out. Where's your mom?

Jack: I think she's outside.

Todd: Go get her. We're having a family meeting.

Jack: Then why is she here?

Todd: "She" has a name, doesn't she? It's Téa. And you'll find out later. Now, go get your mom.

[Jack mumbles]

Starr: Did I hear something about a family meeting?

Téa: Estrella. I'm so glad you're safe.

Starr: Oh--

Téa: I can't believe what happened to you and the baby.

Starr: I know, but we're both fine. I just feel terrible about Shaun.

Todd: Has there been no change? That sucks.

Starr: So what's up with you?

Todd: We are having a family meeting, but we need the whole family to tell it.

Starr: Oh? What, is someone sick?

Todd: No.

Starr: "No"? Well, let's see. No one is married, so no one can be getting a divorce, but-- what, are you two getting married or something?

[Téa giggles]

Blair: Come on. Come on, come on, come on. You have plenty of time to develop melanoma when you get back to Tahiti.

Ross: Stop. What am I supposed to do? Hole up in that cramped cabana and wait for you to be ready to spring me on Todd and Téa?

Blair: You are gonna stay where I tell you to stay. What if somebody sees you? How am I gonna explain to my kids if they happen to just run into you, huh? What am I gonna say to them?

Jack: I guess we're about to find out. Hi. 

Starr: Wait, I'm right? You guys are getting married?

Téa: Um--

Todd: So much for our big surprise.

Téa: Um, well, what do you think, Starr?

Starr: It's great?

Todd: Oh! Your--your enthusiasm is overwhelming.

Starr: Well, it's just, uh...

Todd: It's what? You like Téa, don't you?

Starr: Yeah. Of--of course I do.

Todd: You want your old man to be happy, do you not?

Starr: Sure. If I believed it was possible.

Todd: What is that supposed to mean, if you believe it was possible? I can be happy. [Country accent] What? I'm happy now, damn it!

[Téa and Starr laugh]

Todd: [Normal voice] Aah. Come on, I can be happy. Trust me, okay? Téa makes me happy. How about a little congratulations?

Starr: Okay. Yes. I give you my congratulations. I will want your blessing when Cole and I get engaged, so it is in my best interest to do the same for you right now.

Todd: Oh, is that right? And what did that mean, exactly?

Starr: I'm bargaining. That's-- that's all.

Téa: Hey, Starr, Starr? You don't seem too thrilled about your father and me getting married.

Starr: It's really not that. Dad, what's Mom gonna do when she finds out?

Todd: For your information, she's already found out.

Starr: No, she couldn't have.

Téa: Yeah, she--she has.

Starr: Then why is it so quiet around here?

Jack: So who is this guy?

Ross: Don't you remember me, dude?

Jack: I've never seen you before, "dude."

Ross: Sure, you have. I mean, you were really little and it was a long time ago. But my name is Ro--

Blair: Uh, Randy. Randy. His, uh, name is Randy, um, Abner. Abner. Randy Abner. Yeah.

Jack: So you're one of my mom's friends?

Blair: Well, um, sort of, yeah.

Jack: I get why you want to hide him. He is your friend like the half-naked lady is dad's friend.

Ross: Who?

Blair: Oh, no, no. Not at all.

Jack: Oh, yeah. Dad's here.

Blair: What? Your--your dad's here in the house right now?

Jack: Yeah. He wants to talk to you. I'll go get him.

Blair: No, no, no, you won’t. Sweetheart, no, you won’t. See, um, I'll go get him. And no one can know about, um, Randy. All right, sweetheart?

Jack: Why not?

Blair: Well, because he's, um, a secret agent.

[Ross imitates gunshot]

[Jack imitates gunshot]

Jack: You guys are so lame.

Ross: Huh. So, um, "Abner," huh?

Blair: Okay, would you just hide?! Hide!

Clint: You two need to be careful. Just because we haven't heard from this creep in a while doesn't mean anything. He could be biding his time.

Natalie: Yeah, but for what? I mean, none of us even know what he really wants, except for to freak everyone out.

Clint: Well, now he's messing with my children, and for that he's gonna pay.

Jared: We got to find him before we make him pay.

Clint: We've got security on that. Very soon we should have some leads.

[Knock on door]

Woman: Excuse me, Mr. Buchanan. Mrs. Banks, Mr. Banks?

Natalie: Yes?

Woman: This package was addressed to both of you.

Jared: Did you see who left it?

Woman: I was away from my desk when it came.

Natalie: Wow. Looks like I spoke too soon. Thank you.

Woman: Uh-huh.

Jared: It's exactly like the last one: Plain envelope, just our names.

Natalie: I guess we should call security now.

Dorian: Over the next few months, you may hear a lot of charges leveled at me, a lot of mudslinging going on. But I can take it. You know why? Because I know it's just politics: Politics as usual. Ha ha! And nothing can change that. But I will tell you something else that will not change. If you give me, Dorian lord, your vote as mayor of Llanview, I promise you I will never betray your trust. And I will always uphold your faith in the principles of American democracy. Thank you for listening.

Viki: I have to wonder how long she's been practicing that.

Charlie: I don't know, but we're gonna have to come back at her with both barrels.

Viki: No, no, no. We're gonna run a nice, clean campaign. Believe me, Dorian will dig her own grave. All we have to do is step back and watch her fall into it.

Dorian: Oh, I wouldn't count on that, Viki. It's obvious. You're terrorized at the idea of losing to me.

Viki: Hardly, Dorian. If anyone should be afraid, it should be you.

Dorian: Of what? You?

Viki: No. Of all the scandals, the embarrassments, and the dirty little secrets that are going to come tumbling out now that you have thrust yourself into the public eye.

Dorian: I have no idea to what you are referring.

David: Aah! The cameras! Did I miss the cameras? Tell me I didn't miss the cameras! Damn it!

Dorian: I rest my case.

Oliver: You must be really sick of hearing me talk about my parents all the time, Kyle, and all this gay stuff. I'm really sorry.

Layla: Oliver, I still care about you.

Oliver: Yeah. I still feel terrible for the way I treated you, for all the lies.

Layla: Hey, we've talked about this.

Oliver: But still, I wish I could--

Layla: What? Make it up to me?

Oliver: Yeah. You know, right now I'd settle for being able to look you in the eyes and not feel like a complete jackass.

Layla: Are you getting some kind of guilt trip from me?

Oliver: No.

Layla: Do you want to know why? Because I'm moving on. And I've forgiven you. Now, all you have to do is forgive yourself.

Oliver: Yeah, but--

Layla: No. Not only for what you did to me, but for making yourself so unhappy for so long.

Oliver: And how am I supposed to do that?

Layla: Hmm. I have no idea. But maybe you can start by doing fewer things to make yourself feel guilty--like hiding the truth from your parents.

[Door opens]

Cristian: Hi, guys.

Oliver and Layla: Hey.

Cristian: We've got company.

Barbara: Surprise!

George: Surprise.

Oliver: Uh, mom, Dad, you're here.

Barbara: Yes, we are!

Cristian: I ran into Oliver's parents at the diner--a day early.

Layla: No kidding.

Oliver: Um, what happened to coming tomorrow?

George: Well, we couldn't wait another minute.

Barbara: You look thin. Have you been eating?

Oliver: Yes, Mom, I'm eating.

Barbara: Don't lie to your mother. Your father and I want to take you all out to dinner tonight: You, Cristian, and Layla. And when do we get to meet that paragon?

Oliver: Um, well, she's right here. Mom, Dad, this is Layla, the girl I told you about.

Barbara: Oh. Hello.

Layla: It's so nice to finally meet you in person.

George: So you're Layla?

Layla: Yes, I am. Is something wrong?

Barbara: No. Not at all. We just didn't realize.

Layla: Realize what?

Barbara: That you're, you know, black.

Layla: Hmm.

David: I ran 3 red lights to get myself down here. How could I possibly have missed the cameras?

Dorian: Shut up about the cameras, will you? Don't you have a camera crew following you around? What happened to them?

David: Who? Oh. I had to let them go. Dorian, I have realized something.

Dorian: That you're a raving narcissist?

David: Reality television is on its way out, and my appeal leans towards a more refined, sophisticated, discerning audience.

Dorian: Your Have-a-Seat fans?

Viki: David, was your show canceled?

David: The show has nothing to do with it, Viki. I am moving on to more meaningful projects. When I saw the two of you on television, it was clear. This is where I'm needed.

Viki: Well, I'm absolutely thrilled that you're here.

David: Really? You are?

Viki: Yes. I could use a man like you on my staff.

David: "Staff"?

Charlie: Well, that's what she said.

David: I was thinking job so much as paid celebrity endorsement.

Viki: Oh, no, no, David, this is right up your alley. I need somebody to do opponent research. Who better than Dorian's ex-husband, huh?

Natalie: Oh.

Security chief: Sorry. Didn't mean to startle anyone.

Clint: It's all right. What have you found?

Security chief: There's no evidence of explosives or any biological agent. It's safe to open.

Natalie: Oh, my God. So does this mean we have to send our mail through an x-ray machine all the time?

Security chief: I've already put that precaution in place.

Natalie: Another one.

Clint: All right, Jerome, I'd like you to watch this with us. I need your input.

Jerome: All righty.

Man: [Distorted voice] Natalie and Jared Banks, Nash Brennan's blood is on your hands. You murdered him, and you never paid. But you will. I'll make sure of that.

Starr: Mom really knows? You told her?

Todd: Well, she sort of figured it out on her own.

Starr: And you're still in one piece?

Téa: Actually, your mother took the news surprisingly well--almost too well.

Todd: Yeah. If she's had any reservations about it, she's kept them to herself.

Starr: And you don't think that that's strange?

Todd: Hmm. Since when has she hidden her feelings about Téa and me? I think it's a good sign.

Starr: Of the apocalypse.

Téa: Could I have a drink, Todd?

Todd: Starr, I know this might be hard to believe, but your mother and I both want peace now. So I think things are gonna be different from here on in.

Blair: Oh, how are things going to be different from here on in? Téa, what are you doing here?

Todd: We have something we both want to tell you. Would you get Sam, please?

Blair: Oh, he's napping now. What is it you want to say?

Starr: You said she knew.

Todd: She does know. Jack, Téa and I are getting married.

Jack: No, you're not.

Todd: Yes, we are.

Jack: Are you just gonna stand here and let this happen?

Blair: Sweetheart, really, what in the world can I do about it?

Jack: You can't marry her! What about mom? She just dropped McPain! You guys can get back together!

Todd: Yeah, well, Jack, sometimes when two people, uh, when they can’t...

Blair: What I think your father is trying to say is that--that he wants Téa now, and it's not our job, you know, to see whether he's thought it through or not. And we just have to sit back and hope that he hasn't made a terrible mistake. But I don't think it's a terrible mistake. I mean, because you love Todd. Right, Téa?

Téa: I do.

Blair: Right. And it's not like you haven't married him before. I mean, this is your second marriage--I mean, the two of you--right?

Téa: It's our third, actually.

Blair: Oh, silly me. I completely forgot about that whole glass coffin thing.

Jack: Say what?

Blair: Yeah. Anyway, who am I to talk? I've been married maybe 6 or 7 times, I think.

Téa: Actually, isn't it more like, I don't know, 10 or 12? I mean, were you forgetting John and, oh, Max, Asa?

Blair: Well, you know what? You shouldn't even bring up Asa because I was a completely different person at the time.

Todd: Who wasn't?

Blair: Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that from a woman who has been married to 4 different men, I admire your purity of love for Todd. I mean, after all, your heart has really only belonged to Todd. Isn't that right?

Jerome: At first we thought the other package might have bypassed security through a hole in our system.

Jared: But this time?

Jerome: Security is much tighter now, and this package still got delivered.

Clint: Could it be somebody on payroll?

Natalie: Now, that creeps me out.

Clint: But we have to entertain the idea.

Jerome: I've ordered a complete overhaul of all of our operations. We're also stepping up our examination of the surveillance footage and the visitor logs.

Natalie: Then what are we supposed to do in the meantime to protect ourselves?

Jerome: Bring your whole family in on this, especially the commissioner. Your stalker here just graduated from nuisance to threat.

David: You want me to join your campaign?

Viki: Yes. I think you would be an excellent addition to our team.

David: Charlie? You'd be okay with this, knowing how Viki feels about me?

Charlie: To have someone with your, um, television expertise, I think it would be worth the risk.

David: You're right. I'm a tremendously valuable asset.

Dorian: David! How can you possibly consider working for her? You don't even know what her politics are.

David: I don't care about politics, Dorian. What I do care about: Perks.

Viki: I would offer you free room and board.

David: You had me at "free."

Dorian: How can you do this to me? David, me? Me of all people?

David: Come on, seriously? What else am I supposed to do? Are you all aware that my own father won't even speak to me because I blew all of my money on my brother's legal bills? You'd think having a little brother with a disability would get me some sympathy, but apparently not.

Dorian: David, what about all the people that you were going to help with your reality show?

David: Oh, enough! They recast me on my own show about me. Bev can't even get me a job at a bar mitzvah. Look, I need work. Viki's offering me a job. I don't hear any other offers.

Dorian: Join my campaign. I offer you the job of my campaign manager. Viki can't match that, unless she wants to fire her dear Charlie.

Oliver: What difference does it make that Layla's African American?

George: No difference.

Barbara: We're just surprised. You should've told us more about Layla.

Oliver: I told you lots of things about Layla, like how she started her own company.

Barbara: Underwear, wasn't it?

Oliver: And I told you how she used to be an actress.

Barbara: You did. But you're not anymore, right?

Cristian: Layla works with Oliver at the police station now.

Barbara: Of course. Well, you seem very accomplished, Layla. I hope I didn't offend you before. It really doesn't make any difference to us what color you are. It's like that saying: "The heart wants what it wants."

Layla: No, it's fine. You should've seen the look on my mom's face the first time I brought home a white guy.

George: Well, things are very different for young people than when my wife and I were growing up. Kids didn't live together the way they do today. I mean, not unless they were married.

Barbara: We're just so glad Oliver's finally found someone he can be himself with, someone so lovely.

Layla: Thank you.

Barbara: So first things first. Oliver, you can give us the tour, and then we can all go to dinner. And, Layla, I want you to tell me absolutely everything...

Oliver: Mom...

Barbara: How you met, what church you go to...

Oliver: Mom...

Barbara: How he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Oliver: Okay, Layla's not my girlfriend! I--we broke up.

Blair: So when is the big day?

Téa: We haven't set a date yet.

Todd: You want to come, Blair?

Blair: Oh, Todd, look, I know that it is your wedding and it's your decision, of course, but-- actually, I think it would be a very good idea if I did attend. Really, to show everyone that we've buried the hatchet.

Téa: Where? In my back?

Todd: All right, now. We'll--we'll get back to you on that one. But we can tell you that we'd like it to happen sooner than later.

Blair: Oh? Well, I think that's a really good idea. You know, if you need any help, I'll be glad to help you out, Téa.

Jack: Are you kidding? This bites.

Blair: Starr, would you mind?

Todd: I'll do it.

Starr: I'm gonna check on Hope. Congratulations.

Blair: Well, you know, I'm really serious. You know, if I could help you out at all--in fact, I could plan the whole wedding.

Téa: Yeah, I bet you could.

Blair: I'm actually pretty good at quick weddings, since I've been married so many times. Actually, I'm even better at honeymoons. In fact, I'm picturing you on a deserted island somewhere. Maybe in the tropics? Yeah, I think that has your name written all over it.

[Blair chuckles]

Todd: Hey, you were pretty rude to Téa back there, buddy.

Jack: So?

Todd: So I thought you liked her.

Jack: As a friend, not as a mom.

Todd: Well, she's not your mom. Your mom's your mom. No one's gonna replace her.

Jack: So when I stay at your house, I won't have to take orders from Téa?

Todd: Well, that's something we can all talk about, isn't it?

Jack: And what's gonna happen when Mom gets her own man? How are you gonna like that?

Todd: I don't know. We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Jack: Well, guess what--Mom already crossed it, and he's here right now.

Barbara: You broke up?

Oliver: I would've told you sooner, but I really didn't know how.

George: Son, you know you can tell us anything.

Cristian: Why don't Layla and I give you all some space?

Oliver: Uh, please don't! I would really appreciate it if you guys stayed.

Barbara: I must say I'm shocked. You never even hinted that you and Layla were having problems.

Oliver: Yeah, well, there's a lot I've left out for a long time.

George: Really? Why is that? Is there some reason that you didn't feel you could be straight with us?

Oliver: Dad, um, I--

Layla: The--the truth is I'm just not the right person for Oliver. You raised a wonderful man. Oliver is a sweet, bright, amazing guy.

Cristian: Yeah. And did you know that this morning he got a commendation for bravery in the line of duty?

George: Yeah. Yeah, the police department called us. That's why we had to get here so soon. We--we are so proud of you.

Layla: We're all proud of Oliver. And whoever winds up with you will be incredibly lucky.

Barbara: George and I have always known how blessed we are to have a son like Oliver. And I don't mean to pry, but, Layla, if you feel the same way, why aren't you the lucky one?

Layla: Hmm.

Jared: Hey. Um, security is going to be going over your desk, so you may as well take lunch.

Woman: Okay. Be back in an hour.

Clint: Well, Jessie is still at the hospital.

Natalie: Did you tell her what happened?

Clint: Yeah. But, you know, Brody is the only thing on her mind. I think this stalker has fallen completely off her radar.

Natalie: Well, it needs to get back on her radar. I got to go to the hospital and tell her.

Jared: Can't you just call her?

Natalie: No. I think I should tell her this in person. I mean, I shouldn't drop this on her when she's all alone.

Jared: Brody's with her.

Natalie: In a hospital bed.

Jared: I--I know. It's just--I swear, I don't like the idea of you going out there all by yourself.

Natalie: Then come with me.

Jared: I have that meeting.

Natalie: Right.

Jared: Okay, do me a favor. Come straight back here as soon as you're done.

Natalie: I won't even stop at any red lights.

Clint: Jerome, I want Natalie to have personal protection, all right?

Natalie: Is that really necessary?

Jared: Natalie, someone is talking about making us pay!

Clint: Jerome? Let's get to work.

Jerome: All righty.

Jared: I'd still feel better if you stayed here with me.

Natalie: I will be careful. But you, mister, need to watch your back, too, because my name was not the only one on that package.

Jared: That's why I want you to come back. Because there's no way I'm going out there unless you are around to protect me.

Viki: Charlie is not going anywhere.

David: I should probably call my agent and have her cut this deal for me. To hell with Bev. I'll keep her 25%.

Dorian: You actually think Viki is going to pay you?

David: Viki?

Viki: No, David. I'm sorry, but everyone who works on my campaign is a volunteer.

Dorian: My campaign is willing to pay top dollar for top talent.

Viki: But on my staff, there would be incredible room for growth.

Dorian: Not if she loses. The only growth you'll see will be calluses on your hands from stuffing envelopes. Think about that,

David: Calluses on your beautiful hands.

Viki: I'm afraid that's all I can offer you, David. So now it's up to you. Whose change do you believe in? Mine or Dorian's?

Singer: Buckle up, everybody 'cause we're taking a ride

David: Viki?

Viki: Yes, David?

David: Dorian?

Dorian: Yes, David?

David: I've made my decision. Viki... I'm sorry. I wish there were some other way.

Viki: It's all right, David. You don't have to explain.

David: You're my very best friend in the entire world. I hope you know that--my very best friend.

Dorian: She knows, she knows.

Viki: David--

David: Please don't say it. I know you feel the same exact way about me. I just need the cash.

Viki: I understand.

David: If there was one person in this entire world that I would do--

[Dorian coughs]

David: Duty calls. Let's talk salary.

Charlie: I didn't realize you were so fired up about getting Vickers on our team.

Viki: Well, it's too bad he won't be around, he'd have been a lot of fun, but it is better this way. You see, David and Dorian in no time at all will be at each other's throats.

Charlie: And off our backs.

Dorian: You cannot have a private jet! This is a local election!

David: You don't know that!

Viki: As I said, in no time at all.

Charlie: You know, Mrs. Banks, you just may be slick enough to be mayor of these here parts.

Barbara: You can talk to us.

George: Oliver, you know I have some experience in dealing with young people and relationship issues, and maybe I can help.

Oliver: No, I, uh, I don't think you can this time, Dad.

George: Why don't you give your parents a chance, hmm? We might surprise you.

Oliver: Okay. Um, there's a little more to it that Layla didn't say. She left out some stuff to protect me.

Barbara: Protect you? From what?

Oliver: Um, I didn't want to tell you what had happened because I thought that it might change your opinion of me. And that you might not-- God, this is really hard.

Barbara: Maybe it would be best if we all sat down.

Oliver: Yeah. Okay.

Oliver: Um, okay, here goes. Mom, Dad, um--

George: Wait, I--I'm sitting on something.

George: What is this?

Téa: Okay, Blair, drop it.

Blair: "Drop it"? Drop--is something--what's wrong?

Téa: Todd may be desperate enough for peace to convince himself you're on the level, but I'm not buying this.

Blair: Buying what?

Téa: The front you got going for whatever scheme you're cooking up to mess with our wedding. So why don't you stop playing games, man up, and tell me what's really going on? Hmm?

Blair: Okay, Téa. That's a fine idea.

Todd: Hey, hey!

Todd: Obviously I saw you and I know you're in there, so you can either come out or I can come in. I know you're in there.

Jared: Okay. Promise me you keep your phone on.

Natalie: Promise.

Jared: And you call me as soon as you get to the hospital...

Natalie: Yes, dear.

Jared: And on your way home.

Natalie: Okay. You're gonna be sick of me. Good-bye.

Jared: All right.

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