One Life to Live Transcript Friday 8/28/09


Episode # 10512 ~ Who Am I, Anyway?

Provided By Suzanne
Proofread By Kathy

Cristian: Hey. I made some coffee. It's strong like you like it. You want me to pour you a cup?

Layla: I can get it.

Cristian: You know, your door was closed when I got in last night. So, uh, what happened with Fish?

Layla: I confronted him as soon as he got home, told him I knew he was gay.

Cristian: And?

Layla: We had it out. I asked him to leave. Who knows where he ended up?

Oliver: Do I, uh, do I know you?

Kim: I'm Stacy's friend. Now, pop these aspirin and get the hell out.

Viki: Good, I'm glad you're all here. Thanks for coming.

Charlie: And I promise it's a good thing.


Viki: Okay, I'm just gonna say it. I am thinking about running for mayor.

Natalie: Oh, my God! Mom, that's awesome!

Viki: Oh, no, hang on. Hang on. Before you all weigh in, you have to consider and understand what this means, okay?

Natalie: Well, it means that this town's gonna be rid of that creep Lowe.

Jared: Son of a bitch will be back in the unemployment line where he belongs.

Viki: I appreciate the show of support. There are practical matters involved.

Jessica: What's on your mind?

Viki: Okay, I have to take a leave of absence from "The Banner" to avoid a conflict of interest.

Jessica: Well, the managing editor can take over, and I could help out if you want a family member there.

Viki: Well, that's good to know. Thank you, sweetheart. But "The Banner's" not my biggest concern.

Natalie: What is?

Viki: You, all of you. My family. People who mean more to me than anything in the world.

Jessica: Well, I know that we lean on you a lot, Mom, but we can take care of ourselves.

Viki: No, no, no, I know that, honey. That's not what I mean.

Charlie: Yeah, it's--it's more than that.

Viki: Look, the life of a candidate becomes enormously public. Everything about me will be scrutinized, including all of you. Okay, everything you've ever done will be dredged up, even if it has no bearing on the campaign whatsoever. Brody, as Jessica's boyfriend, your past will be fair game. So you will have to understand you're gonna be living in a fishbowl, and I want you to think about whether you're ready for that.

[Phone rings]

Dorian: Oh. Dorian Lord speaking, campaign manager for Mayor Lowell. If you want to volunteer for the re-election campaign...

Blair: I'm calling to check on my children.

Dorian: Blair, where are you?

Blair: Exactly where I told you I would be. I'm in Tahiti, standing right in front of Ross Rayburn's house as we speak.

Todd: Hey.

Téa: Hey.

Todd: That was some night last night. Was it worth the wait?

Téa: Is that your way of asking me if it was good for me?

Todd: Was it? Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Téa chuckles]

Téa: Is that why you said what you did last night after I pretty much told you that I wouldn't let you touch me until I knew you were serious?

Todd: I said what I said because I mean it.

Téa: Yeah?

Todd: Yeah.

Téa: Say it again.

Todd: I love you.

Téa: I love you, too.

Dorian: Blair, are you completely out of your mind?

Blair: How are Starr and the boys?

Dorian: Starr and the boys are just fine. How was your flight?

Blair: Long.

Dorian: Yes! Well, what would you expect? You are 6,000 miles away.

Blair: Yeah, but I am this much closer to finding out what Téa Delgado's secret is.

Cristian: You know, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to.

Layla: What's there to talk about? It's the cleanest breakup I've ever had. Am I getting stupider as I get older?

Cristian: Come on.

Layla: This isn't supposed to be me. Back in college, I would've spotted this situation from a mile away. I was always the one to tell my friends, "don't mess with that. So-and-so's gay. He's gonna come out soon," or, "that girl is way more into her girlfriends than she's into you. Take the hint."

Cristian: Yeah, but that was back in college.

Layla: Yeah, it was my superpower. Gaydar; I was never wrong. So why the hell did I not trust myself?

Cristian: He lied to you, Layla.

Layla: Yeah, but there were clues all over the place. And back at the beginning, I even asked him.

Cristian: Yeah, but it's not your fault, okay? Fish lied to you, and you trusted him.

Layla: I told him I knew about Kyle and he tried to deny it, and then he admitted that he slept with him in college. And-- God, I'm such an idiot!

Cristian: Come on, you're not an idiot.

Layla: He said it was like some drunken one-off. And then I asked him, "well, why were you kissing him the other night behind the Buenos Dias?"

Cristian: What'd he tell you?

Layla: Kyle jumped on him and he was fighting him off.

Cristian: That's not true.

Layla: And if it were, Oliver could've kicked Kyle's narrow behind and then arrested him.

Cristian: Did he finally come clean with you?

Layla: Not really.

Cristian: So what did he say?

Layla: "I can't be gay." Stuff like that. "Poor me: The department, my parents."

Cristian: So he expected you to feel sorry for him?

Layla: Maybe it's karma. I used Oliver to get over Vincent on the first go-around. I guess payback really is a bitch.

Cristian: I'm really sorry this happened to you.

Layla: It didn't just happen to me. Last night Oliver was so-- wherever he is, I know he's hurting, too.

Oliver: What happened last night?

Kim: You cheated on your girlfriend. That's what happened.

Stacy: Stop harshing. Fish here did me a big favor last night.

Oliver: Wait, wait, wait. "Favor"?

Stacy: Well, we did each other a favor, actually. You don't remember? You were lonely and needed some comfort.

Kyle: Yo, where the hell do you get off telling the guy I'm dating that I'm some sort of lowlife con?

Oliver: Would you keep your voice down?

Kyle: What's your problem, dude? You don't want me. Now you don't want me with somebody else?

Dorian: I've got information for you, dear, that could make you hightail it back to Llanview this instant.

Blair: Something wrong with Hope and Starr?

Dorian: Starr and Hope are just fine. However, your toxic ex: Another story. You see, that petition that he filed to overturn your custody agreement? It works, okay? He no longer has to live at La Boulaie.

Blair: Well, did he come home last night?

Dorian: I haven't seen a trace of him. And my guess is that he went racing back to his house and to Téa. Blair, you better face it: It is over with Todd. So if you're doing all of this just to get him back...

Blair: Dorian, I told you why I'm doing this. I'm doing this to protect my kids from Téa. And Todd deserves to know the truth about her anyway.

Starr: Is that my mom?

Dorian: Yes, it is.

Blair: Is that Starr? Let me talk to her.

Dorian: Fine. Here, darling.

Starr: Mom?

Blair: Hey, sweetheart. How you doing this morning?

Starr: Oh, I'm tired. Hope was up a lot last night.

Blair: Well, is she coming down with something?

Starr: No. I think it was the shot she got at her checkup.

Blair: Well, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there, but you know I would've been there. But this is something that's really important.

Starr: I'm gonna have to take your word on that because I don't know where you are or what you're doing. And then what was Aunt Dorian saying about you wanting Dad back?

Todd: Aren't you glad that I talked you into that business trip to Tennessee?


Téa: Are you vibrating?

Todd: Am I vibrating? No. Would you like me to vibrate?

Téa: Your phone.

Todd: Oh, that's just "The Sun." I'm not gonna answer it.

Téa: And what about your kids?

Todd: They're with Blair and Dorian.

Téa: Exactly.

[Phone vibrates]

Todd: No, it's not Blair. Hey, this is Todd.

Elijah: There you are. I'm trying to reach you all morning.

Todd: I've been busy.

Elijah: Good news, my friend. Our judge overturned the other judge's ruling. You get to retain shared custody, and you no longer have to live with Blair.

Todd: No kidding? That's great! He did it. Hold on a second. I'm out of there. I'm out of Dorian's. I got shared custody of the kids.

Elijah: Is Ms. Delgado there with you?

Todd: Uh, yes.

Elijah: Mind if I speak with her for a moment, please?

Todd: Clarke wants to talk to you. Want me to tell him to buzz off?

Téa: No. It might be about, um, Matthew Buchanan's case. I'll-- I'll take it.

Téa: What do you want, Elijah?

Elijah: I'm surprised you're still in town. Must not want to miss the show, huh?

Téa: Excuse me?

Elijah: You know, the fireworks I'm gonna set off when I tell Todd the truth about you.

Téa: That's not gonna happen.

Blair: Starr, sweetie, don't pay any attention to what your Aunt Dorian says because she does not know what she's talking about, all right? But I know something. If you're having trouble with Hope sleeping, why don't try singing to her? I mean, it doesn't have to be a lullaby, just a song that makes you feel safe, okay? I mean, it always worked for me with you. I love you so much, you know.

Starr: I love you, too, Mom.

Blair: I'll be home soon.

Blair: As soon as I can get into this house and find out what Téa's secret is.

Blair: Anybody home?

Viki: I don't want to scare you. I just want to make it very clear, okay? I mean, I've lived in the public eye for so long I'm used to it, but I don't know that it's fair to subject all of you to that.

Jessica: Natalie and I are used to it, Mom.

Natalie: Yeah. I mean, I think we've all shared our 15 minutes of fame, and anything we've done is already out.

Charlie: I think Viki would make one hell of a mayor. And I agree that we've all been picked apart so much for the last year or two that I think this family's fresh out of secrets.

Viki: Unless it's not.

Natalie: We--we were gonna tell you.

Viki: About what?

Jessica: Someone is trying to make us believe that Nash is haunting us.

Layla: He had an excuse for everything. I say, "You slept with a guy." He says, "That was college. I was drunk." I say, "You kissed Kyle a few days ago." "Oh, he forced himself on me." After all that, he wanted to go on like nothing had changed.

Cristian: He's lying.

Layla: No, he meant it. He was, like, desperate to keep seeing me, to keep what we have--had going.

Cristian: While he sleeps with guys?

Layla: In his mind, that's all over with. He hasn't just been faking everybody else out. He's been lying to himself, too.

Cristian: Fish thinks he's straight?

Layla: Fish is freaking. This thing with Kyle happened years ago. And now Kyle shows up back in town and starts putting the moves on him.

Cristian: And what?

Layla: It's not like you can ever understand, Mr. Supermodel, straight boy, painter, boxer, superman. You can do anything you want, get with any girl you want. You don't have the first clue what it's like to be terrified your world's gonna come crashing down if anybody finds out...

Cristian: Okay, wait, wait. Maybe I don't understand because I'm not gay, but--

Layla: Yes, Oliver is gay. But he's trying like anything to believe he's straight.

Cristian: But he's not. Is he? Well, then forget this whole thing about how it's so hard for him. Okay, he can't just use you to make a lie true.

Stacy: Thanks for helping me through a rough night.

Oliver: Last night was one of the worst nights of my life.

Oliver: Look, I don't know why I said what I said to that Nick guy. I was probably just ticked at you for messing with my life.

Kyle: Messing with your life?

Oliver: Okay, rubbing my face in the past.

Kyle: Oh, emphasis on "past," right, because your future's with Layla now? What, I can't even say her name? Your--your relationship is so sacred and straight that I can't defile it with my gay--

Oliver: We're done, okay? Layla and me, we're through. She knows about us.

Kyle: You--you came out to Layla? She knows you're gay?

Oliver: I'm not gay.

Oliver: Last night I hurt someone I really care about.

Layla: Part of me wishes it wasn't true: That he's not. He made me laugh, brought me flowers. I really liked him.

Elijah: Oh, somebody's overconfident.

Todd: Hey, I was gonna scrounge us some breakfast. Any requests?

Téa: Uh, Carlotta's cafe con leche.

Todd: Oh, sí, senor. Hey, Clarke? She's taken. Keep away from her.

Elijah: Oh, ignorance is bliss, huh, till somebody rocks your boat.

Téa: No one's gonna rock a damn thing, and you know exactly why.

Elijah: She huffs and puffs.

Téa: Yeah, but instead of blowing anything down, I'm willing to make a deal. Hmm?

Blair: Anybody home? Where are you, Ross Rayburn?

Blair: Raymond. Ross Raymond.

Blair: Oh, forgive me, John.

Blair: Thank you, Todd.

Ross: Can I help you?

Stacy: Sometimes we hurt the people we care about, but that doesn't make you a bad person.

Oliver: No, you--you don't know me. You don't know who I really am.

Oliver: I am not gay, but now Layla thinks that I am because your stupid boyfriend shot off his mouth about--about your ex, the cop who's now dating a woman. And then Layla found out about you kissing me.

Kyle: Good! You can finally be honest, or are you still trying to prove that you're a real man?

Oliver: I really wanted things to work with her.

Kyle: Why?

Oliver: Because--because, Kyle, I really, really liked her.

Kyle: Are you--were you ever in love with her? Are you even attracted to her?

Oliver: What are you talking about? She's gorgeous.

Kyle: That's not what I asked you! Look, Oliver, I know you're confused. You're hurting. Why don't we just go somewhere where we can talk?

Oliver: You know, why don't you go be with someone who's not confused?

Kyle: Oliver, man...

Oliver: No. Kyle, you know what? I can't do this right now. Please, just leave me alone.

Stacy: Bad night?

Oliver: You don't know the half of it.

Stacy: Maybe I do.

Oliver: Did you just hear all that?

Stacy: Enough to know that Layla gave up a good man.

Oliver: You don't know me.

Viki: Who could possibly be sending messages as if they were from Nash?

Natalie: Well, we're working on it.

Brody: Mr. Buchanan is on it.

Viki: Okay, this is not a good time to run for mayor.

Jessica: Why not?

Natalie: No, Mom.

Viki: "Why not?" Darling, someone got on the grounds close enough to Bree to give her a present?

Jessica: And Bo is taking care of it.

Viki: And close enough to the house to leave a message on the window? We don't need to draw more attention to the family.

Natalie: Look, I agree that all of this is very, very creepy, but whoever this is has not tried to physically hurt us.

Viki: Yet.

Jared: Look, you're right. We don't know who or what we're dealing with. But we talked to Bo and he's gonna be in contact with you about upgrading the security at Llanfair.

Viki: Jared, that's just a start.

Jessica: Mom, the police are getting to the bottom of this, okay? In the meantime, I'm gonna live my life. I'm gonna enjoy hanging out with my daughter. I'm gonna enjoy hanging out with my boyfriend. I'm gonna get back to my career. I'm not gonna be taken hostage by this, and neither should you.

Natalie: I think you would make a fantastic mayor.

Jared: Yes. You are brilliant, committed, and you really understand what the people need, you know?

Charlie: If you think about it, who knows when you're gonna get another chance to do some real good for this town?

Viki: And you're all sure?

Natalie: Mom, we can handle this. There's no reason for you not to run.

Charlie: Oh, my God. Did you see this?

Starr: Where is my mom anyway?

Dorian: Didn't she tell you?

Starr: Why would I be asking you if she did? What's the secret?

Dorian: There is no secret. She's on a fact-finding mission for "Craze."

Starr: What does "Craze" have to do with my dad?

Dorian: Ask your mother when she gets home.

Starr: You guys and your secrets.

Dorian: I know. Women have always had their secrets from time immemorial. Now, darling, you're gonna have to excuse me because I've got to get busy trying to get Mayor Lowell re-elected.

Starr: What is this?

Jessica: Is that Hope?

Starr: How sneaky do you have to be to stick this in my dad's paper?

Dorian: I didn't sneak anything. Darling, you were standing right there when I took the picture.

Starr: I didn't think it would end up on the front page of the newspaper. "The Mayor and his message of Hope"?

Dorian: Great headline, if I do say so myself.

Starr: My daughter is not a message for anyone, especially a pig like that.

Dorian: Oh, now. Why are you so against Mayor Lowell?

Starr: His politics. Did you see the way he looked at me when he found out I had a baby?

Dorian: I talked to him about that.

Starr: And you think his attitude's gonna change? It won't. It runs in his DNA. His kid goes to my school, and the jerk gene runs in the family. Trust me.

Dorian: I know nothing...

Starr: And what bothers me the most is that my daughter is being used to endorse a man that I would never vote for in a million years!

Dorian: It's a good thing you're too young to vote.

Jessica: Why is Hope in a picture with the mayor?

Charlie: "While sharing his message of hope with even the youngest of Llanview's citizens, Mayor Lowell announced he has a new campaign manager: Dorian Lord."

Téa: Take my proposal back to Ross. If he delivers what I need, then we'll have something to talk about.

Elijah: He's not gonna like it.

Téa: Well, it's the only deal I'm making, so tell him he can take it or he can leave it!

[Todd whistles]

Todd: What's got you so riled up?

Blair: You know, I can explain...

Ross: Wait, wait. No, I know you. I know you. You're Blair Cramer.

Blair: And you are Ross Raymond, or should I say Rayburn? The same Ross Rayburn who helped kidnap my kids way back when.

Ross: That--that was not my idea.

Blair: That's supposed to make me feel better?

Ross: Look, that plan was a bust. You said it yourself: It was way back when. So, look, this is Tahiti, baby. Come on...

Blair: Don't "baby" me.

Ross: Okay. I'm sorry. That make you feel any better?

Blair: Getting there. But I'm not here to discuss your little scheme with Todd. I'm here to talk about Téa Delgado.

Starr: I don't know why you would want to work for a jackass like Mayor Lowell, but that is your business. My business is Hope, and she and I will not be used as media bait for his campaign.

Dorian: I had no idea you would get this upset. But, you know, we can work with this.

Starr: You can work with what?

Dorian: This fire, this passion you have when you talk about your child. This election gives you the opportunity to get your message across.

Starr: How many times am I going to have to tell you? Hope and I do not have a message for you, your little mayor friend, or anyone else. Okay?

Viki: Well, I guess Dorian found a job she wanted more than being chief of staff at the hospital.

Charlie: Mm-hmm. Thank God for the unsuspecting sick people that just came in.

Brody: Is it really a big deal that she's Lowell's new campaign manager?

Natalie and Viki: Yeah.

Jessica: Dorian's kind of my mom's sworn enemy.

Natalie: Yeah, she's pretty much hurt every member of our family at one time or another.

Jared: And mine.

Viki: I can only imagine the field day Dorian's gonna have running a campaign against me. Do I really want to take on Dorian and the mayor all at the same time?

Layla: Maybe you were right about me after all.

Cristian: Right about what?

Layla: You called me on not being able to keep a man.

Cristian: I was being a jerk.

Layla: Yeah, but if I can't even tell if a guy I'm dating is gay or straight...

Cristian: Do not do this to yourself.

Layla: What's wrong with me?

Cristian: Nothing.

Layla: How--how could--how could I have made love to Oliver and not have known he wanted to be with a man? Maybe if I had been different or tried harder.

Cristian: Tried what? Tried to make him not gay?

Layla: I know, I know, I know, I know.

Cristian: Good. Because I'm not gonna let you think that this is because of something you did or because something is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you.

Layla: Nothing's wrong with Oliver either. If only he could have accepted it, neither one of us would be this miserable.

Oliver: Did we...

Kim: What are you doing with him?

Stacy: Oh! Oh, whoa. Sorry. Sorry. Okay, have a seat. Have a seat. I'll go get you a drink.

Kim: Guy's tanked up enough already. What is he doing here?

Stacy: It's a long story. I'm just glad you didn't let me tell Rex I lost the baby.

Kim: That guy: He turned you down flat before.

Stacy: Yeah. That's before his girlfriend broke up with him.

Kim: Yeah?

Stacy: Uh-huh.

Kim: Go fishing, tiger.

[Stacy squeals]

Stacy: Oh, you look tense. Let me loosen you up.

Oliver: You know, maybe Kyle was just really trying to help me figure things out.

Stacy: Figure what out? You're a man, I'm a woman. And tonight we're gonna do what a man and woman are supposed to do.

Oliver: We did it, didn't we? We--we had sex?

Stacy: Oh, yeah, cowboy.

Oliver: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Kim: That's not the reaction I expected. But who cares, as long as you got what you wanted from him? Why are you still playing hostess to the guy?

Stacy: Well, I figure there's no knowing if I got pregnant that one time. So I'm only ovulating for a couple more minutes, and if he's game, then hey.

Oliver: I have to go to work.

Stacy: Work? You're totally hungover. You can't go to work like that, you top cop. You have a rep to maintain. Come on, let me take care of you. I can make you feel better just like I did last night.

Oliver: No, last night was--was a huge mistake. I used you.

Stacy: It's okay.

Oliver: No. No, it's not. I can't keep doing this to people, to myself. I'm sorry.

Téa: No, we were just discussing Matthew Buchanan's case. Thank you.

Todd: You sounded pretty angry. What kind of deal are you trying to get Bo and Nora to take?

Téa: Well, I was just making it very clear to Elijah that I will do whatever it takes to win Matthew the right to decide what's best for him.

Todd: Oh, you're--I know you can take him, but, you know, you better bring your "a" game because he's pretty good. He won me my freedom. Now we can do whatever we want. Cheers. Breakfast in bed every day for the rest of our lives.

Téa: I usually skip breakfast.

Todd: All right, dinner in bed, then. Point is we can do whatever we want. I'm out of La Boulaie. I got my kids back. Done with Blair, so are you.

[Téa sighs]

Ross: I haven't seen Téa Delgado since we were rescued from that island.

Blair: Ross, I know that there was a woman living here up until about a year ago.

Ross: Well, what can I say? There have been a lot of women.

Blair: Yeah, and I was kind of hoping that you'd be straight with me, but I guess...

Ross: Who you calling? Who you calling?

Blair: Oh, just my ex-husband: A cop, former FBI agent.

Ross: Manning? Since when?

Blair: It's a different ex-husband. But I think he'd be curious to know that I'm standing right in front of a wanted criminal.

Ross: I am on foreign soil. He can't touch me down here.

Blair: Well, I guess you've never heard of John McBain.

Ross: Hold on, hold on.

Ross: What'd Téa say about me, anyway?

Blair: Actually, she hasn't said a word about you. But there is a huge gap in her resume since the two of you were rescued off that island and she showed up in Llanview last December, and I'm kind of curious about what she's been doing all this time.

Ross: What's your beef with her?

Blair: That's my business. Just like you staying out of jail so you can hang 10 all day is yours.

Ross: Well, Téa must've done something really bad for you to come all the way down here. Suppose you get what you came down here for. What guarantee do I have that you're not gonna make that call to your ex anymore?

Blair: Oh, because, see, I don't want you. It's that simple. But if you give me what I do want, then your name won't be mentioned. No one has to know where you are, Mr. Raymond. So what's Téa's secret?

Todd: I want to celebrate. What do you want to do?

Téa: Uh, I'm very happy for you and I think you should celebrate, but I don't know where that leaves me.

Todd: Right here with me: That's the point.

Téa: Oh, Todd, you asked me to move in here because I was hurt and needed someone to take care of me. You have a full staff, your house was essentially vacant because you had moved back in with Blair, and you felt guilty about possibly getting me disbarred. Remember? Well, I'm all better now, thank goodness, and, miraculously, I haven't lost my career. The house will no longer be standing vacant. So as much as I'd like to go help you celebrate, I have to pack so I can move back to the Palace.

Todd: No. No, you can't.

Téa: Why not?

Todd: Because you're gonna move in here with me.

Dorian: Starr, just--just one more thought. I--I think that this election could give you the opportunity to help the mayor outreach to the young people of Llanview.

Starr: The only young people he wants to outreach are the rich, and I'm pretty sure he already has their vote.

Dorian: You could expand his horizons.

Starr: Forget it, Aunt Dorian. You aren't going to get me and Hope to do his dirty work, okay?

Dorian: It's not as if the mayor needs you to get re-elected. He's the incumbent, his polls are on the rise, and the opposition did not pick a worthy candidate. In fact, the rumor is that the hack is gonna drop out any minute now, so that could mean that the mayor runs unopposed.

[Doorbell rings]

Starr: I'm going to say a little special prayer tonight that that doesn't come true.

Viki: Starr! Hi, darling! How are you?

Starr: Hi, Uncle Charlie.

Viki: How is Hope?

Starr: She is so great.

Viki: Oh, that's wonderful. I'm glad. Hello, Dorian.

Layla: I'm gonna call in sick. I don't think I could face Fish at the station today.

Cristian: Don't you just want to get it out of the way?

Layla: Today I'd go crazy if I have to be gossiped about on top of everything else. How does it feel being right?

Cristian: What do you mean?

Layla: You warned me about this: Dating my roommate, a guy I work with. You warned me how weird it'd be if things didn't work out.

Cristian: Yeah, but this isn't exactly what I was worried about.

Layla: Hmm. Thank you.

Cristian: Thank you for what?

Layla: Ohh, for not telling me what you knew when you thought it would hurt me but telling me when you thought it would save me.

Cristian: I just wish there was something more I could do.

Layla: Yeah. Me, too.

Dorian: Viki and Charlie, how nice of you to come and see us. What brings you here?

Charlie: Well, we've been reading about what you've been up to.

Viki: Yeah. So I thought that you would like to read about what I've been up to. I'm officially on the ballot as an independent candidate for mayor.

Charlie: Thanks a mil for planting the seed.

Viki: So I guess we'll be seeing you on the campaign trail. Hmm?

Charlie: After you, Mrs. Banks?

Viki: Thank you, Mr. Banks. Good-bye, Starr.

Jessica: You know, I think Mom has a really good chance of turning this into a race.

Natalie: Yeah. Me, too, but it's gonna take a lot of work.

Brody: Yeah, Lowell's popular. Don't ask me why.

Jared: Well, he shines it on well. He's what my dad would call a 24-karat phony. But Viki will expose him just by being who she is: Real and honest.

Natalie: You are so sweet.

Jared: I'm just happy for your mom, you know, and my dad. I think it's gonna be good for both of them.

Brody: And for the whole family. You know, maybe whoever's messing with you guys will back off when the family's in the spotlight.

Kim: Fish is into guys?

Stacy: Lucky for me he was trying to prove he was straight last night. Ha ha ha ha!

Kim: Hopefully one of his little fishies hit the mark.

Stacy: I've got a good feeling. I don't know. Whatever, whoever Fish is into, he might just be able to help me get Rex back.

Cristian: I should get to work.

Oliver: Can you stay for a minute? I, um, I have something that I have to say to both of you.

Oliver: I'm--I'm gay.

Téa: You're saying you want to live with me?

Todd: No, I'm not saying that.

[Téa sighs]

Blair: See, I kind of have a theory here. When you and Téa hooked up, I think maybe you did something unlawful, maybe a little illegal. Am I right? So were you and Téa partners in a crime, hmm? Come on, spill it.

Ross: You might say that.

Todd: What I'm saying is--Téa? What I'm saying is... I don't want to just live with you. I want us to be husband and wife. No, I know you--I--I'm serious. Will you marry me?

Ross: Téa Delgado is my wife.

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