One Life to Live Transcript Wednesday 3/18/09


Episode # 10398 -- No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

Provided By Laurie R.
Proofread By Kathy

Téa: You rang?

John: I want to talk to you about Todd.

Téa: I don't work for Todd anymore.

John: Good, then maybe I'll get an honest answer out of you.

Téa: Oh, ever the charmer.

John: You noticed. So when you said you killed Lee Halpern, you were obviously covering for Manning.

Téa: The cops didn't seem to think so.

John: You want to lie to the cops, that's your business. I just want to know if he did it.

Todd: So you're back from Cassie's, huh? How are you?

Jack: How do you think I am? My mom's in the hospital and she may die, and you're in jail.

Todd: You're mom's not going to die.

Jack: How do you know that? You don't know anything. You can't even tell me when you're going to get out of jail. Is this ever going to stop?

Brody: Is this a bad time? I wanted to drop by and let you know that they discharged me from St. Ann's.

Gigi: I knew about that. The D.A.'s office called Rex.

Brody: Oh, I should have called first. I was just so relieved after I spoke to Shane, you know, after -- after that accident. You can't imagine what was going through my mind. Maybe you can, actually. Anyway, when I talked to him and he was okay, it just -- I wanted to --

[Gigi sobs]

Brody: Geege, what is it?

Gigi: Brody, he has leukemia.

Bo: Balsom, thanks for coming. Did Nora call you?

Rex: Nora?

Bo: Yeah. How did you find out?

Rex: Oh, my God, Matt's not doing any better? I thought he was fine. What happened? How is he?

Bo: Well, he's amazing, considering the fact that he may never walk again.

Nora: Where the hell is Cole?

Marty: He's gone.

Nora: Gone? I was taking him in.

Marty: I know. That's why I told him to go.

Nora: You told him to escape? Are you out of your mind?

Marty: He didn't escape. He's still here in the hospital. He went to see Matthew.

Matthew: You okay? You going home?

Cole: They're discharging me in a little while.

Matthew: You're lucky.

Cole: Lucky? You're like my brother and I did this to you. How am I supposed to live the rest of my life like that?

Nora: You told Cole to go talk to Matthew?

Marty: It was his idea.

Nora: Oh, for --

Marty: Nora, please, he needs to do this.

Nora: I don't give a damn what Cole needs. My son may be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life because of that little son of a bitch.

Téa: I've told anyone who will listen that Todd didn't stab Lee Halpern.

John: Hey, I'm not a cop and you're not working for Manning, so we're just a couple of people talking off the record.

Téa: You're just -- you're just curious, John?

John: Someone got into Dorian's house and they stabbed Blair. That same person killed Lee Halpern and they killed Wes Granger.

Téa: Hmm, so you're just connecting the dots.

John: Mm.

Téa: Uh-huh.

John: The thing is, they may not be done. Someone's going to be next. Maybe you're going to be next. So I got to ask, is it worth it?

Téa: Is it worth what?

John: Risking your life to protect Todd.

Viki: Addie brought Jack and Sam to the hospital to see Blair.

Jack: She's still unconscious.

Todd: Yeah, I know. I talked to the doctor myself. And I know, honey, that it just must be so scary to see her like that in the ICU.

Jack: It's not as scary as jail.

Todd: Yeah, well, I just want you to make sure you don't worry about your mother because as bad as it looks, you know, with all the stuff she's hooked up to, it's going to be okay because all those machines, they're there to help her. And, you know, they're keeping her in that deep sleep on purpose so she can heal.

Jack: I asked Aunt Dorian if she's going to make it. She said she doesn't know.

Todd: Yeah, well, you're Aunt Dorian's a drama queen.

Jack: Dad, cut it out! Mom could die and you know it.

Bo: Matthew was looking at Nora and she was all over him about why he didn't wear a seat belt. I was watching Michael, and he was running this implement up and down the sole of Matthew's foot. Matthew didn't move. He didn't react. Then I looked at Michael and I just knew. So we've -- we've done all the tests, everything we could do, and Clint’s calling specialists, but everybody says the same thing. Unless there's a miracle, this is as good as it gets. Now my beautiful boy will have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. He just went to his first dance. Now he can't even walk across the room. And I know I should be grateful. I have to be grateful, and I am grateful. So I just thought I'd come in here and ask God a few questions. Then I thought of Drew. Just what I'd give to have him back, just in any shape. And Duke, same thing. You know, Balsom, there are kids in this hospital right now that are never going to walk out alive. I am thankful. I'm sorry, I don't mean to lay all this on you, Balsom.

Rex: Shane, he's one of those kids.

Bo: The lucky ones?

Rex: The doctors ran some test, some routine tests. And when they came back -- he has cancer. Bo, he could die. And I know it's a lot with Matthew. I -- I'm sorry.

Matthew: You didn't do this to me. It was an accident.

Cole: Only it wasn't. Matt, I was already high. And before you got in the car, I took a whole handful of pills. They had to pump my stomach. I couldn't even see straight. I had no business being behind the wheel of a car.

Matthew: I didn't get a teacher or stop you from driving. I didn't even wear my seatbelt.

Cole: That's not the point. If I hadn't screwed up, none of this would have happened.

Cole: I mean, look at you, Matthew. I did this to you. You -- you can't move and that's because of me. I mean, I wish I could just wake up and have this all be over. I wish I could change -- I wish I could fix it.

Matthew: Well, you can't.

Cole: I know.

Marty: He's coming back and then you can arrest him, whatever makes you happy.

Nora: Happy?

Marty: He just wanted to see Matthew before you took him. And, please, can we have a minute?

Nora: Yes, it's fine.

Marty: I know this is --

Nora: This is what? What is it? What is it, Marty? My son is paralyzed because your son got behind the wheel of a car so high he had to have his stomach pumped or else he would have overdosed.

Marty: I know. I'm not saying that Cole isn't responsible --

Nora: Paralyzed. Paralyzed. He can't run. There's no soccer. There's no chasing girls. There's not even any walking, Marty. We don't know if he's going to be able to control his bladder, and if he can, we don't know how to get him to the bathroom.

Marty: I know, I know.

Nora: No, you don't know. You know nothing because we don't know anything. You see, we don't know what this is. We don't even know where it's going. Every minute I think of something else. Oh, look, there's the mail man. Oh, God, Matthew will never be able to run to the end of the driveway to get the mail. I'm walking upstairs and I think, my God, this house has so many stairs. How am I going to get him up to his room? And I know he can't drive yet but of course, you know, I'm thinking, all right, well, we could trick out the car with those, like, hand pedal things, you know? Gee, that's a really sexy look for a teenager. You know, here comes Matthew the cripple. Oh, and I know that's not politically correct. He is disabled. I know, I read all the pamphlets. Believe me when I tell you that those people are my heroes, they really are, but I never thought my son would be one of them.

Marty: I'm so sorry.

Nora: Oh, please, save it. You couldn't care about Matthew. You don't even care about your own son. That's why this happened. That's why this happened; because you're such a selfish, self-centered monster of a mother.

Rex: After the accident, because of the asthma attacks and probably all the meds they had to give him -- anyway, they ran some blood tests.

Bo: And that's how they found leukemia. Balsom, I've heard that kids are pretty responsive to treatment.

Rex: That's what we're hoping. He starts the chemo right away. Michael's not even letting him leave the hospital.

Bo: He's on top of it.

Rex: You know, once -- once the blood clears, you know, they're going to go after the bone marrow.

Bo: A transplant?

Rex: They're testing for donors.

Bo: All right, you sign me up.

Bo: Do you have insurance, Balsom?

Rex: John made sure Shane was covered, you know, from Gigi's Rodi’s insurance.

Bo: He's a good man. All right, you've got a treatment plan and the odds are in your favor. Now, I have read about this, Balsom, and kids have a good shot.

Rex: I just -- I just don't get it. Matthew, Shane -- they're like the best kids in the world.

Bo: I know.

Rex: I mean, how is this fair? Doesn't the world need kids like Matthew and Shane, kids who are smart and decent? Shane is so much better than I'll ever be. You want a sacrifice? Take me, huh? Take me! Right.

Bo: I've learned sometimes -- well, you can't try to make it all add up.

Rex: How can you? I end up with a woman like Gigi, a son like Shane, and Shane has to --

Bo: Shane has to fight and so does Matthew. And we've got to back them up.

Cole: So what do we do?

Matthew: I guess we could go back to the way we used to be, talk or whatever.

Cole: Why don't you hate me?

Matthew: Look, I pressured you into driving me. I wanted to get out of there so bad, even though I knew you were high. So actually, you should be mad at me.

Cole: For what?

Matthew: For not getting you help, Cole. I stood by and let you become an addict.

Todd: Look, I know you're scared, but this is your mom we're talking about here. She's stronger than all of us. She's got the best doctors in the world taking care of her. She's going to be fine.

Jack: We're all alone. Mom's in the hospital and you're in jail.

Viki: Darling, you have your Aunt Dorian and you have your Grandma Addie and you've got me.

Jack: I want my mom and dad, but my mom's in a coma and everybody thinks that my dad put her there.

Todd: I didn't.

Jack: Tell me the truth for once.

Todd: I've always told you the truth, Jack.

Jack: Did you hurt Mom so you could be with Cole's mother?

Nora: This is your fault, but Cole is the one that's going to have to take responsibility because he's a smart kid. And he's smart enough to know not to take drugs and certainly not to get behind the wheel of a car when you're high as a kite. And even more importantly, don't put someone in the passenger seat without putting their seatbelt on them. But you're the reason he started using and you know it.

Marty: You're right. Even though I can't change what happened in Ireland and later with Todd, you're right. I didn't show up for him.

Nora: A stranger would have been kinder to him than you were. You pushed him away. My God, Marty, you told Cole, your own son, that he was your problem. And it didn't matter what we said to you. We tried, God knows we tried to get through to you how much he was hurting and how much he needed you, but you didn't care. All you cared about was Marty. Oh, poor me, poor Marty.

Marty: You're right, you're right. I was a lousy mother. I'm a lousy person. Because even though I didn't remember him, I knew he needed me to make an effort and I didn't do it. I couldn't do it. It was too much. All I could do was crawl away into that hotel, and now Wes is gone and -- oh, my God, Cole is addicted to -- and Matthew -- it's my fault. But you, I let you down. You're my best friend. You took in my son and you mothered him when I couldn't, and this is how I repay you. This is what I've done to your son. How am I going to be able to make it right? I'm never going to be able to make it right.

Nora: So what are you doing? You're asking for my forgiveness? You want me to forgive you? I can't forgive you. I won't forgive you. 

Gigi: It's all happening so fast. They're starting the chemo right away. They wouldn't even let him come home, which is why I ran back here to get some of his things. His books, some real pajamas, his computer -- anything to make him feel like he's not losing his life.

Brody: He's not going to lose his life.

Gigi: He's going to lose his hair and he's going to get so sick. They said that the chemo makes you vomit, and he's already so skinny.

Brody: Well, we're just going to have to feed him ice cream and cookies.

Gigi: What if they can't find a match for the bone marrow transplant?

Brody: We'll find it. I'll get tested first thing tomorrow.

Gigi: That's if the chemo even works. What if it doesn't? I don't know if I could take that, Brody. I can barely stand it when he has an asthma attack. To see him in all this pain, what if I can't handle it? I'm his mother.

Brody: Listen, he's got his dad and his grandma and -- and me and all these people who love him, so don't you worry. We're going to get you through this.

Rex: I kept wondering if Shane was ever going to look at me the way he did Brody. Would he ever look at me as his dad? And he almost does. Sometimes it -- it just comes out. "Dad, over here, Dad." "You want ice cream with that, Dad?"

Bo: He even has to ask?

Rex: And now I'm his dad and what good is it? I can't fix it. I can't make it better.

Bo: I know. Last month I was all over Matthew about smoking dope. As it turns out, he wasn't even doing it.

Rex: He wasn't?

Bo: No, my son tried to start a rumor about himself to impress a girl. And it's the same girl that treated him so rotten last night that he -- that he bolted. And then he got in a car with this kid that shouldn't even have been driving in the first place, and then he didn't wear a seatbelt. And now he looks up at me from a hospital bed, and I know there's nothing I can do about it. ‘

Cole: Matthew, this isn't your fault.

Matthew: It kinda is. I knew you were using and I knew why. I didn't tell my mom because -- because I wanted you to like me.

Cole: Matt, I always liked you.

Matthew: As a friend or because you lived in the same house as me? I wanted all of them -- Justin, Becca -- to think I was as cool as you. I let you down. I let everyone down.

Cole: It isn't your responsibility.

Matthew: Yeah, it was, according to my parents. They gave me the message loud and clear on what to do if you know someone who's on drugs. I failed the drill, and now they have to take care of me for the rest of my life. And that's on me, not you.

Nurse: How are you doing, Matthew?

Matthew: I'm okay.

Nurse: Are you feeling any discomfort? Because the doctor ordered a pain killer if you need it.

Téa: So how exactly do I fit into this little theory of yours?

John: Well, for argument's sake, if it is Todd, he stabbed his nursemaid, Marty's boyfriend, and his ex-wife. You're another ex of his and his sometime-lawyer, so if I were you, I'd watch my back.

Téa: You're forgetting that I stabbed Lee Halpern.

John: You never stabbed anyone.

Téa: And you know that because?

John: I've seen what people look like when they've killed someone. You don't have the look.

Téa: And Todd does?

John: He's capable. Now, whether he killed Wes and he killed Lee, I don't know.

Téa: So you're not all knowing.

John: No, but, you know, I've got to ask. Do you want another body on your conscience? Because that's what's going to happen if you keep lying.

Téa: Oh, so it's my fault if some homicidal maniac decides to stab another one of Llanview's citizens.

John: So it wasn't you and it wasn't manning.

Téa: No, I didn't kill Lee Halpern, John, but neither did Todd.

Todd: I swear to you, I would never hurt your mother, ever, no matter how mad I got or how loud she yelled at me. Look at me. Do you believe me?

Jack: Yeah, but I'm still really scared. Because what if Mom does die and you're stuck in here?

Todd: I'm working on that.

Jack: Even if you do get out, you still can't come take care of us. You've got that restraining order.

Todd: Yeah, well, I'm working on that, too.

Jack: I'm so sick of hearing stuff about what you're going to do. Get your act together and come home and be our dad.

Marty: When I think about what Cole's had to bear -- losing his father then losing me then losing a child. And then finding me again, but realizing that I didn't know how to love him. I was the one person that was supposed to take care of him. I didn't do it, so punish me. Punish me! Do not take it out on Cole. He has been through so much and he is just a little boy. And he loves Matthew so much it is killing him -- killing him what he's done to him. He loves him and he loves -- he loves you, too. I know this isn't fair, but please don't -- please don't turn away from him. I know you're hurt and I know you're angry and I know you're frustrated, but all that -- all that belongs to me.

Nora: Oh, yeah, and then some. Because the truth is, none of this would have happened if you had stayed dead. 

John: Explain something to me. How does a beautiful, smart, successful woman like yourself get used by that piece of crap?

Téa: He's not a piece of crap. He is damaged.

John: Oh, well, if he's damaged, then okay. You know, if the D.A. finds out what you did, you'll be disbarred. You could lose your career, maybe even your freedom.

Téa: Are you going to tell her? Because I'm not.

John: No, I'm not going to tell her. But why go to bat for him?

Téa: He's my client, John.

John: And you love him.

Nora: None of it matters. Cole is the one, he has to take responsibility for what --

Marty: It was me. You're right, it was me. If I hadn't come back, wouldn't have hurt anyone. And all I can say is how sorry I am? It's not what I wanted. It's not what I wanted. But you're right, you were all better off without me.

Nora: It's not true. I'm sorry, it's just not true. When I heard that you were alive -- oh, God, it was a miracle. I was so happy because I had missed you so much. And I knew -- I knew Cole. I knew how much he needed you and how much he loved you. And then I found out what you had gone through with Todd, and I was so angry. I just wanted justice for you. And I got so wrapped up in your case that I didn't even see what was happening in my own house. I didn't see -- Cole, he was cratering and I didn't see it. Me, his friend, his guardian. Of all people, I should've seen it.

Brody: How about you go back to the hospital, and I'll put some stuff together for Shane.

Gigi: But I didn't even make a list or anything.

Brody: Gigi, if I have any questions, I'll text you, okay?

Gigi: You sure?

Brody: Go.

Gigi: Okay, thanks. He'll probably need his slippers, the ones from Christmas. Oh, and his robe. And his sweatshirt, the one that you gave him.

Brody: The Phillies.

Gigi: It's still his favorite.

Gigi: It was just the two of us for all those years. And then we found Rex, and we were finally a family. It was really working.

Brody: I know.

Gigi: Deep down, it'll always be Shane and me. If anything happens to him --

Brody: He's going to fight through this. I mean it.

Gigi: Okay.

Gigi: You have any idea how much you mean to all of us?

Brody: As much as you guys mean to me.

Rex: How do I keep it together, Bo? I got Gigi looking to me, Shane. I can't fall apart.

Bo: Nope. No, not with them.

Rex: Because it is going to get worse before it gets better. I don't know if I can handle it.

Bo: Sometimes life just takes guts. It takes pure courage. You could be scared to death, but you do what you got to do. I'm going to go check on my son.

Rex: Bo? If I get through this, it's because of you.

Bo: Right back at you, Balsom.

Nurse: Now, you're sure you're not in any pain?

Matthew: My shoulder's a little sore, but I'll be fine.

Nurse: Your friend's amazing.

Matthew: They're all being really nice to me because, I guess, I'm a kid and they feel sorry for me.

Cole: And you don't hate me? You don't want to throw something or yell or --

Matthew: Or what, punch you?

Cole: Yes. Yes.

Matthew: What would that change?

Cole: So then get mad about that.

Matthew: No matter how mad I get, I keep going back to why. Why did I get in the car? Why didn't I buckle my seatbelt? And why didn't I get you help when I had the chance? And I just keep getting mad at myself.

Cole: I'm so sorry.

Matthew: I know. Me, too.

Todd: Jack, I'm going to do the best I can. In the meantime, I want you to stay strong for your sister and Sam, okay?

Jack: I'm not the dad, you are.

Todd: Yes, I know. And I'm doing the best I can.

Jack: This is your best? Forget it.

Todd: Jack. Hey!

Viki: It's okay. There's a guard and a locked door around the corner. He's not going anywhere. Do you know even Dorian doesn't think you're guilty this time?

Todd: And what do you think?

Viki: Would you like me to call Téa for you?

Todd: No, Téa quit on me. I need a new lawyer. You could make that call for me. Would you?

Viki: Yeah, I think I can handle that.

Téa: I was just at Todd's jail cell, and it was very clear to me that I come in third. You know what that's like, though, John, don't you? Loving two women at the same time?

John: Is that why you quit?

Téa: Isn't that what they tell you to do on an airplane, save yourself first? I'm not saying it's easy. It's taking all I have not to run to the rescue. But yes, it's over.

John: Allow me. Well, good for you.

Téa: Thank you. Look, I'm no saint, John, as you well know. I play to win. And I'm not willing to go for the bronze, especially when it comes to my personal life.

John: Good. Hey, listen, this may sound strange, but when you found Lee Halpern's body, was there any special markings on it? Letters, etchings, something like that?

Téa: No.

John: One last question. Do the letters "D" or "A" mean anything to you?

Téa: "D.A." as in Nora. That's about it.

Marty: Do not blame yourself. You took wonderful care of Cole. You brought him into your family and you kept him on track. I was the one who threw him off. And you were right to come after me. I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. I wasn't being a mother. I was falling apart, and you saw it and you were my friend. And I would never have had the strength to dig down deep and face it. I would never have gone to his room. I would never have gone to him if wasn't for you. And I'm going to owe you that for the rest of my life, so please, do not blame yourself. Oh, my God. If only I had thought about it sooner. If only I'd done it sooner. You tried. Oh, God, if only I hadn't done this, none of this would've happened. I am so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Nora: I didn't mean what I said. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Singer: We should go to sleep now you should stay the night I'll be up to watch the world around us live and die lying on the grass now dancing for the stars maybe one will look on down and tell us who we are we might fall we might fall we might fall Hallie we might fall we might fall we might fall we might fall Hallie we might fall we might fall we might fall we might fall Hallie we might fall we might fall we might fall we might fall Hallie we might fall now that we are older I remember you reaching out to show me all the things that I must do now that we are older I remember youth now that we are close to death and close to finding truth we might fall we might fall we might fall Hallie we might fall we might fall we might fall we might fall Hallie we might fall sha la la sha la la sha la la hey, now, sha la la sha la la sha la la hey, we might fall fall  

Todd: Morgan Gutherie.

Morgan: Your sister said you needed a new lawyer.

Todd: I do. Can you get me in front of a judge tonight?

Morgan: I've already dropped a motion on the D.A.'s office.

Todd: What kind of a motion?

Morgan: To dismiss all charges. They don't have a thing, Todd.

Todd: Good. Oh, hey, I need something else from you.

Morgan: And what would that be?

Todd: I want my kids back.

>> On the next "One Life to Live" --

Langston: If hope didn't die from Rh, then what happened?

Shane: I don't look like Dad anymore.

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