One Life to Live Transcript Monday 6/30/08


Provided By Boo
Proofread By Kathy

Jared: Check out your new digs, David Vickers. Do you mind if I call you Dave?

Natalie: I got to tell you, this David Vickers, way more company than the human David Vickers. Well, allegedly human.

Jared: Well, I'm going to hook you up with some water. Something stronger for you?

Natalie: Nope, I'm okay.

Tess: Hey, baby. I'm here. It's me, Tess.

Jared: Well, he's on his third cup of water. I think I might leave him in the bathroom for a little while.

[Jared sighs]

Jared: Would it help to talk about it?

Natalie: Aren't you sick of talking?

Jared: Well, I created the situation. The least I can do is listen.

Natalie: I'm here with you, and Jessica's never going to see Nash again. My God, what is she going to do?

Tess: I fought so hard to get back to you, but Jessica kept me locked up. She wanted you all to herself.

Tess: I'm sorry it took me so long, baby. I'm finally here and it's too late. I'm free and you're gone.

Tess: You were murdered... by Jessica's little bitch sister and her pathetic boyfriend.

Natalie: Jessica's my twin. I am the one person she's supposed to be able to count on.

Jared: You did try, Natalie.

Natalie: She hates me. Am I crazy to keep hoping that maybe someday she's going to forgive us?

Tess: Don't you worry, Nash. If there's one thing that I can do for you now, it's to make Natalie and Jared pay.

[Rock music plays]

Tess: I'm free. The only person that loved me is gone. I won't forget you, Nash. And I'll make sure nobody else does either if it's the last thing that I do.

[Music continues faintly]

Jared: Did you sleep?

Natalie: Yeah. Better than you. Did you have nightmares again?

Jared: Not if I keep my eyes open. I watched you sleep. And David Vickers snores.

Natalie: And he's a bed hog.

Natalie: A bed hog with a bladder control problem.

Langston: Tell me there's still coffee.

David: Langston, didn't Dorian teach you it's appropriate to offer congratulations to a happy couple?

Langston: Show me a happy couple and I'll be all over them.

Addie: Langston, I know it's been kind of crazy here ever since you came here to live, but --

Starr: Don worry about it because it will just get worse.

Langston: You okay?

Starr: Well, Cole hasn't texted me back.

Langston: Sorry, but I mean, are you okay about your grandmother and him?

Starr: She looks happy to me.

Langston: Isn't that the meds? Isn't that Dorian's ex? I mean, she must be freaking out.

Dorian: Bon jour, bon jour. And a very special good morning to our two love birds.

Nora: Hey, you must be feeling better because you're up early.

Matthew: Yeah, I set my alarm.

Clint: You did? On summer vacation?

Matthew: Well, I figured you'd want me to be there on time.

Nora: Thank you.

Matthew: Isn't the burial supposed to be right after the funeral?

Clint: Yeah, yeah, it is, but Jessica had a tough time yesterday. We didn't want too much to happen in one day.

Matthew: Mm.

Clint: Thanks.

Bo: Morning.

Lindsay: Hi.

Nora: Hi.

Clint: Oh, good morning, Bo, Lindsay.

Bo: Hey, you going with us?

Matthew: Mom said I didn't have to, but I want to come.

Bo: Good man. How is Jess?

Clint: Actually, I don't know. She spent the night at her cottage last night with Viki taking care of Bree. Viki's over there now picking her up.

Bo: Oh, okay. I was hoping that Viki would be here.

Nora: Why?

Bo: Well, Lindsay and I have some news.

Nora: What news?

Bo: Well, I asked Lindsay to marry me yesterday.

Lindsay: And I said yes.

[Rock music plays]

Viki: Jessie? Jessie? Honey, it's Mom. Jess!

Tess: Just a minute.

Tess: Mom, what's going on?

Antonio: Well?

Cristian: I got into her E-mail, but nothing.

Antonio: You know when Talia called and said she was at the diner?

Cristian: Yeah?

Antonio: She was actually within a two-block grid of her apartment building.

Cristian: What do you think this Chamberlain guy did to get her to lie to you?

Antonio: I don't know, probably stuck a gun to her head. It just doesn't make any sense. I mean, there has to be another reason why Talia would help him kidnap Sarah, if that's even what happened.

Cristian: And what would the ambassador want with two random American chicks who happened to get in his way?

Antonio: Well, Sarahís not that random, not if Tinaís a real princess. You know, I can't believe that you hid her from me.

Cristian: I did it for Sarah.

Tina: And I can fix this. I swear I can.

Tina: All Jonas wants in exchange for those girls... is this.

Matthew: Congratulations.

Lindsay: Thank you.

Bo: Oh, thanks. Kind of sudden, huh?

Matthew: No, no, this is great, right, Mom?

Nora: Uh-huh.

Clint: Uh, look, I'm very happy for both of you.

Lindsay: Oh, thank you so much.

Clint: Nora.

Nora: Excuse me, I'm not feeling...

Nigel: There's a dreadful bug making the rounds.

Clint: Well, champagne will chase all those germs away.

Bo: Champagne? We haven't even had breakfast yet.

Lindsay: Mimosas, the breakfast of champions.

Bo: There you go. I'll get the champagne.

Matthew: Mimosas, the breakfast of champions? Learn something new every day, right, Dad?

Bo: Don't remember that.

Matthew: All right.

[Matthew laughs]

Lindsay: Feeling better?

Nora: Oh, much, much, much, much.

Lindsay: Champagne?

Nora: Uh, we're toasting? I mean, I'm sorry. I've just never been to a burial with alcohol on my breath. So, and I'm -- no, I'm a little queasy in the stomach. When did you kids come up with this idea?

Bo: Well, we've been living together for months.

Nora: As ward and guardian.

Bo: And we almost got married one time already, so...

Lindsay: It would be today if it hadn't been for you.

Nora: Oh, well, you were actually the one that lied about what -- the most important thing in our lives, so...

Lindsay: You see, I told you I thought we should keep this quiet.

Bo: Why? I'm happy, okay? I want the people that I care about to know that. And there are no more secrets between Lindsay and me, now or ever.

Natalie: God! Jessica is Toddís niece. How could he do this to her?

Jared: Hey, hey, sweetie, this is going to get better. Sparky. It has to. Jessica is your sister, and she loves you. You haven't lost her forever. I promise.

Tess: Come in. I was just blowing off some steam.

Viki: Yeah, I guess you didn't hear the phone. I've been trying to call you all morning, honey.

Tess: Why?

Viki: Well, just, you know, to see if you were all right. I also thought you might like to ride with Clint and me to the cemetery.

Tess: Oh, thanks.

Viki: Honey, do you think -- do you mind turning the music down?

Tess: Sorry, I was just... I was trying to drown out the silence, you know?

Viki: Baby, I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you.

Tess: Why? You were about my age when Joe died.

Viki: Yeah, that's not what I meant. I meant --

Tess: Oh, of course, what happened with Natalie at the funeral.

Viki: Yeah. It was horrible.

Tess: Yeah.

Viki: Good God! What happened?

Natalie: I didn't know my sister most of my life. When I met her, I hated her. I was jealous of every single thing that she had. But I can't imagine my life without her now.

Jared: She's going to realize the same thing.

Natalie: I really hope you're right.

Jared: Well, maybe I will be right about something.

[Dog barks and growls]

Natalie: Now, David Vickers is a very appropriate name for a messy pain in the ass.

Jared: What do you think Bo and Clint are going to do now that now that they know David is the real Buchanan heir?

Natalie: Beats me. I mean, for all know, they could have already told him.

Jared: Well, there's only one way to find out for sure.

David: What is she up to?

Addie: Reverse psychology. It's always the second step.

Dorian: What are you two whispering about?

Addie: You.


[Dorian laughs]

Dorian: You don't think I'm sincere?

Addie: Um, no.

Dorian: I just decided to stop aggravating myself about your marriage. If the two of you say you're happy, who am I to judge?

Addie: That never stopped you before.

Dorian: What other choice do I have?

David: Blackmail, kidnapping, assault, tricks, lies, bribes. You better stop me, I'm running out of fingers.

Dorian: Oh, please, David. I have far too many things on my mind now that I'm running Cramer Enterprises to be upset just because... [Laughs] My sister decided to impulsively get married.

Langston: This is bull, right?

Starr: Usually.

[Doorbell rings]

Dorian: Ah, there she is!

David: Who?

Dorian: Oh, my special wedding gift to you two. Starr, Langston, would you mind letting our guest in?

Langston: Yeah, sure.

Starr: Mm-hmm.

David: Hmm. This smells a little funny. I think I smell a gift horse in the offing.

Addie: Knowing Dorian, it could be very large and wooden.

David: Maybe full of Trojans

Addie: Better safe than sorry.

David: Oh.

Dorian: It's a very, very, very special gift. It's something that neither of you has, but both of you can use.

Langston: This is --

Woman: Madame Delphina. At your service.

Tess: I meant it when I said I was letting off some steam.

Viki: Did you break that mirror on purpose?

Tess: No, I was ranting and raving, and yelling at God, and it got in my way.

Viki: Did you hurt yourself?

Tess: No. I'm sorry I'm not dressed. I will hurry. Oh, how's Bree?

Viki: She's fine, darling. She slept, she had a good breakfast, but she misses you.

Tess: Yeah. I just need a little bit to pull myself together. I just need to get through today.

Viki: And you will. I promise you, okay? There will be no press and no unwelcome visitors at the cemetery today.

Tess: Are you talking about Natalie?

Viki: Yeah. After what happened yesterday, I don't think she'd come.

Tess: Let her come. I'm not worried.

Viki: Okay. Why don't you get dressed? I'll clean this up.

Tess: You ain't seen nothing yet, Mother.

Cristian: You want to bargain with a terrorist?

Tina: Look, Jonas is not a terrorist, okay? He's a crook. All he wants is the jewels. Once he gets them, he'll release the girls. And, by the way, I told your brother that I really didn't think we needed to involve the police.

Antonio: Of course you didnít.

[Knock on door]

Antonio: I'll handle this one.

Tina: But, Antonio...

Jonas: Morning, gentlemen, your highness.

Cristian: Where are they, you son of a bitch?

Nora: So... have you set a date?

Bo: Sooner the better as far as I'm concerned.

Nora: Wow, what's the rush?

Bo: Today we're about to bury a young father who thought he had his whole life in front of him, so Lindsay and I thought why are we wasting time? Let's just do what makes us happy.

Matthew: I'm going to be in the wedding, right? You're not going to elope or anything?

Bo: No, we're not going to elope.

Lindsay: But I think what Matthew means is that we should have all of our nearest and dearest with us on our big day.

Matthew: Exactly. That's how it should be, right?

Bo: Well, yeah, but, you know, it could take months to book a church. Then you've got to plan a reception.

Nora: Well, certainly you have that much time, right?

Bo: I don't want to wait.

Matthew: I've got it. Why don't you guys get married here? Right, Mom?

Dorian: Madame Delphina, this is my sister, Addie.

Delphina: Oh.

Dorian: And her new husband, David Vickers. I thought a unique gift for a unique couple would be a psychic reading from one of the world's greatest.

Delphina: Well, I try.

David: Uh-huh. Let me guess, you predict doom and gloom in our future.

Delphina: Let me guess, you're precognitive, too.

David: I don't know what that means, but I can read Dorian's mind, and I know she paid you off and told you what to say, right?

Dorian: Oh, no, I did pay a substantial amount, well worth it, for a couple's reading. So shall we begin? Madame Delphina, tell my sister and her new husband what their future holds. Delphina: Sit.

Delphina: Give me your hand. Wow, look at that lifeline.

David: Is it long?

Delphina: Tell me, why did you wear the blue briefs today instead of the customary leopard print?

David: You told her to say that.

Dorian: I did not.

Addie: Dorian must have overheard me asking you to wear the blue. It shows off his eyes.

Delphina: Oh.

David: Enough about that. Back on my lifeline.

Dorian: Madame Delphina, could we get back on track?

Delphina: Oh. [Growls] If you two stay married, I see... death. Destruction, misery, doom... and a happy couple, perfect together, laughing through life.

Dorian: What?

Delphina: I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it. You were right. She paid me to give a false reading, which is karmically cool. So what can I say? The truth came out.

David: Mm-hmm. I'm more psychic than she is.

Delphina: Oh.

Dorian: Delphina, get out.

Delphina: I canít. The way's blocked. Someone's coming in.

David: That's a pretty good one. So who is it?

Delphina: It's, um... you.

David: I could have done better than that. What is this? Another wedding gift?

Jared: No, we assumed he's yours.

David: Why?

Starr: His name is David Vickers. Who else but you would name anyone after you?

Tess: Ready.

Viki: Honey, do you want to just pack a few things in case you decide to come home with me?

Tess: Can you give me a minute?

Viki: Certainly, darling, I'll wait in the car.

Bo: Son, this is your mom's house, and I think the last thing that she wants is to have to deal with throwing a wedding for me.

Matthew: Mom, you're always saying we're still a family. This is Grandpa's house. Isn't this what he'd want?

Nora: Well, I mean, if it's -- if it's what your father and Lindsay want, then it's fine by me.

Matthew: Dad?

Bo: Well, if it's okay with your mother. What do you say, honey?

Lindsay: Well... I think it's a wonderful idea. Thank you, Nora.

Matthew: Yes.

Nora: So, who else -- I mean, when do you want the ceremony?

Bo: How about today?

Lindsay: What?

Bo: Well, why wait? You know, it's what we want, so...

Lindsay: Well, how will Jessica feel?

Bo: I'm sure that Jess will be happy. I'm sure that she'll be glad that we're -- that maybe we helped, uh, find a good thing in an awful day.

Lindsay: Well, today it is, then. Nora?

Nora: Sure. Why not?

Clint: Well, we should get going.

Bo: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right, bud.

Lindsay: Ooh, boy.

Bo: What? You okay?

Lindsay: Oh, boy, I'm a whirl.

Bo: Are you dizzy?

Lindsay: I don't know what I am. I just, uh... I feel a little overwhelmed. I'm getting married today. But, if you don't mind, I'd really like to stay here and rest up a little bit. I don't think it would be a good thing if I pass out at Jessica's husband's burial.

Nora: Wouldn't want her to fall in the open grave.

Bo: Are you sure you're okay?

Lindsay: Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to be as good as new when you get back.

Bo: You rest up, and I'll see you later.

Lindsay: All right.

Clint: Bye.

Jonas: You do realize that if my people don't hear back from me within 15 minutes, that they have specific orders to take care of your lady friends.

Jonas: Let me remind you, in case you're thinking of arresting me, you can't because I have full diplomatic immunity.

Antonio: Of course you do.

Tina: Look, look, the jewels are all here, okay? Just don't hurt my daughter.

Cristian: Are you out of your mind?

Antonio: We're not paying any ransom until we see Talia and Sarah.

Jonas: Fine. That's your prerogative, but you're still going to have to be patient.

Cristian: That's not my strong suit.

Antonio: Just take us to them and we'll get this done, okay?

Jonas: Absolutely, as long as you have passports that are up-to-date.

David: I've never seen that rat before in my life.

Addie: He's almost as adorable as his namesake. Dori, can we keep him?

Dorian: Oh, sure, Addie. What's another stray in this house?

Addie: Let's go see if cook will whip him up a treat.

Dorian: Natalie, Jared, you've brought the dog. Thank you. You can leave, and you, too, Delphina.

David: Command of the castle, as usual.

Natalie: My sister's husband is dead because of what you did. Are you happy now?

Dorian: Logic only a Buchanan could come up with.

Jared: What did you do to Pamela to make her turn on me?

Dorian: Absolutely nothing.

Natalie: You said you loved my dad, and then you destroyed his company, our family, and my sister's life.

Dorian: And there's no blood on your hands? I could never have turned Buchanan Enterprises into Cramer Enterprises without your help. I mean, was it my idea to pass off Jared to the world as Asa Buchananís long-lost son?

Delphina: Asa Buchananís long-lost son.

Dorian: Delphina, why are you still here?

Delphina: Asa Buchananís long-lost son is right here in this room.

Jared: Okay, who are you, exactly?

Dorian: Asa Buchananís son is not in this room.

Delphina: Really? You win some, you lose some. Whoo!

Dorian: What is it?

Delphina: Whoo.

Dorian: What's wrong, Delphina? Delphina.

Delphina: It's not Delphina. It's Mel.

David: Whoa, Nelly.

Delphina: It's Mel, Dorian. Tell me, how can you live with yourself after what you've done?

Nigel: Madam?

Nigel: Madam, I brought you some lukewarm ginger ale to help settle your stomach.

Lindsay: Thank you, Nigel. You didn't have to do that.

Nigel: I hope you don't mind if I dust around you while you rest.

Minister: Into your hands, O merciful savior, we commend your servant, Nash. Receive him into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light, Amen.

All: Amen.

Minister: Please join me as we recite the 23rd Psalm.

All: The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

David: Tell us what Dorian did, Mel.

Delphina: You begged for my forgiveness. Now if you want it, you will tell them what you did.

Jared: What the hell is going on here?

David: Apparently, the ghost of Dorian's nasty past has come back to draw a line in the sand. So out with it, Mrs. Scrooge.

Delphina: Confess, Dorian.

Dorian: Stop it, Mel.

Delphina: Oh, who's Mel? What happened?

David: Delphina, you need to learn how to break character a little more believably.

Dorian: If you're not going to get out of here, I will. Further, I demand a refund.

David: A refund? I guess she doesn't have too much confidence in the future of B.E., or C.E., if she's already counting her pennies.

Delphina: Well, you're right about that.

Jared: You don't really believe this crap, do you?

Natalie: Speaking of --

David: Yeah, speaking of -- I have a question I'd like the answer to. Do you know whose dog that is?

Starr: Well, the nametag says David Vickers. I'm guessing somebody who thinks you're a dog.

Jared: It's going to be pretty tough to narrow that one down.

Delphina: I'm seeing... "P."

David: Ew, where? Get that rat out of here.

Delphina: The letter P, like... princess.

Addie: Well, he certainly is a princess. He wouldn't touch anything except ground filet mignon on a silver platter. I'm calling him "Princess David Vickers."

Natalie: Well, enjoy this dog. I hate to break it to you, but he's not house trained.

Jared: No one knows the truth about David, except maybe her.

Natalie: Are you kidding me? She's as phony as a three-dollar bill.

David: Can you tell me anything about this rat?

Delphina: You mean, other than the fact that he needs to relieve himself?

David: Okay, let's go.

Langston: Can I -- can I ask you something?

Starr: Langston, are you kidding me?

Delphina: About your parents?

Lindsay: You know, I just -- I have terrible heartburn, I think. Do you have any bicarb?

Nigel: Bicarb?

Lindsay: Bicarb.

Nigel: I'm sure we have it in the house somewhere, given the general level of heartburn around here.

Lindsay: Now would be good.

Nigel: Yes, madam.

Lindsay: Oh, I feel so much better.

Viki: Honey?

Tess: I just want to stay a little bit longer. I'm okay. I just -- just before they do this, I just -- I need a couple more minutes, okay? Please.

Clint: Whatever you need, honey. We'll leave a car behind to take you home.

Matthew: Jessica? Um, I just want to say I'm really sorry. I really liked Nash. He was a cool guy.

Tess: Yeah. Yeah, he sure was.

Nora: If there's anything we can do, okay?

Bo: We're always here for you, Jess.

Viki: Thank you, Reverend. Bye-bye.

Clint: Don't stay too long. I love you, Jess.

Viki: I know. You don't want me to call you or check up on you because you need space and time. I know.

Tess: Thank you for your understanding.

Viki: Oh, baby. I love you so much.

Tess: I'm sorry, baby. I had to let them do their thing, you know, and now it's just you and me. Just one more thing I wanted to say, because I know when they put you in the ground it's the end. And shouldn't be you. It should be them.

Tess: And I swear on your grave and on our love that they will live to regret taking you away from me.

Langston: I don't know what I believe about the afterlife and stuff. But if I could just know that my parents went somewhere.

Delphina: They're with you, Langsy.

Starr: Langsy?

Langston: That's what my dad used to call me. Only him. He knew it drove me crazy, but he did it anyway. I never told anyone that.

Delphina: They want you to know that you're not alone.

Langston: I know I'm not alone. I have Starr and Markko and Dorian and Ė

Delphina: No, that's not what they mean.

Langston: What do you think they mean?

Delphina: Just -- don't forget what they said.

Langston: Is that it?

Delphina: Yes. No.

Starr: Am I really showing that much?

Delphina: There's something terribly wrong.

Starr: With my baby?

Jonas: The two of you will escort the crown princess on her charter flight back to Mendorra. You will be listed as her official, private security force, and you accompany her from the plane to the palace. Once you are there, you will wait further instructions.

Antonio: And we're supposed to do this on faith?

Jonas: Well, I have faith that you're going to give me the jewels for the prisoners.

Cristian: If you don't hold up your end, you better have faith that you're going to be a dead man.

Jonas: You know, I think we're going to get out of this safe and sound. All of us. The princess is going to be ensconced happily in her palace, the two of you are going to be back in Llanview with your lovely ladies, and, well, the jewels will be back in my possession. Auf wiedersehen.

Cristian: You're just going to let him walk out of here?

Tina: What choice do we have?

Antonio: This has to do with more than just about the jewels.

Tina: No. No, we give him the jewels and we'll all be fine.

Antonio: Then answer me this. Why does this all have to take place in Mendorra?

Lindsay: Hey.

Bo: Wow, you look like the rest did you good.

Lindsay: Yeah, I feel 100% better. Oh, how was Jessica?

Bo: Too quiet.

Clint: She's trying to be so strong.

Lindsay: Oh, I hope that she understands why we're getting married today.

Bo: I didn't even bring it up because it wasn't the right time, but I know she's going to be happy for us.

Lindsay: Yeah. And thank you again, Nora.

Nora: Sure.

Lindsay: Dudes, let's go plan a wedding. Come on. Bye, guys.

Clint: Bye. Nora, are you going to be all right with this?

Nora: Oh, yeah. Of course I will be. I have to be, for Matthewís sake. And you?

Clint: I don't know. I want my brother to be happy, but on the other hand, if he's on a honeymoon, I'm going to be here fighting Dorian all alone for B.E., so I better get started.

Nora: Oh, here, wait, take these. You'll need this.

Clint: You don't need any of this?

Nora: Oh, no, I had my assistant make duplicates of every single piece of paper in there. All right here.

Natalie: Okay, so Dad and Uncle Bo didn't tell David Vickers the truth, and maybe they agree with that stuff about keeping the secret. They think we were right, because you know we were just trying to protect them, and unlike Dorian, we were not trying to hurt anyone.

Jared: I was.

Natalie: Oh. Hey, you -- you were trying to get back at Tess, okay? But my family had no idea what she did to you, because you covered for her.

Jared: Honey, you don't have to keep going out of your way to stick up for me. I've got to live with what I did.

Natalie: We're going to get through this.

[Knock on door]

Natalie: Jessica. Well, that's it!

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