Days of Our Lives Transcript Tuesday 4/17/07 - Canada; Wednesday 4/18/07 - U.S.A.


Provided By Eric
Proofread By Niki

Max: Chelsea... Chelsea... Chelsea! [Exhales deeply] I said cool it.

Chelsea: Why?

Max: I was just about to ask you the same thing?

Roman: Hello, Willow. Where is it?

Willow: Where is what?

Roman: The hairbrush that we found at Bo and Hope's house the night you tried to torch it. It's missing. I know you took it. You need to tell me where it is.

Kate: [Groans]

Will: What's wrong, grandma? You look a little stressed.

Kate: Oh, well, I've been trying to get info on this woman, and even Google doesn't seem to know who she is.

Will: Who?

Kate: Brandy Mathas.

Will: Brandy Mathas?

Kate: Does it sound familiar? Do you think you know her?

Will: Well, no, but, I don't know, just the name -- it's sort of familiar.

E.J.: I just called to let you know that I'm now leaving for the cabin. You don't want to disappoint me. 9:00. Ticktock.

Lucas: What are you doing?

Sami: Um, just checking my messages.

Lucas: But we agreed to give the phone the night off. Come on.

Sami: Well, I was worried. After everything that happened with Will, I just thought he might need us.

Lucas: He's not gonna need us, right? He knows where we are. No one is gonna need us tonight, because tonight is all about you and me -- all alone... all... night... long.

Sami: [Exhales deeply]

Lucas: Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Philip: We need to talk.

E.J.: This isn't a good time. I'm on my way out of town.

Philip: Yeah, I heard. Change of plans.

E.J.: Really? By whose authority?

Philip: Mine.

Lucas: Ooh, I almost forgot to tell you.

Sami: What?

Lucas: Guess what I have coming up -- a little surprise from room service.

Sami: What did you get?

Lucas: Your very favorite dessert. I got the fondue -- the chocolate fondue thing that you love with the strawberries and the whipped cream -- lots of whipped cream. Did I mention whipped cream?

Sami: Yeah.

Lucas: How's that sound? Sound good?

Sami: Sounds delicious.

Lucas: Well, good. Why do I get the feeling you're not into this?

Sami: I am. I-I totally am. I, um, I'm just -- God, it's been a long day, and I think my high heels are hurting my lower back, so maybe I'll just take a shower, and the hot water could take the pressure off –

Lucas: I'll just take one with you. That'll be nice -- take one together. It'll give me a chance to help you relax a little bit. [Cellphone rings]

Sami: Oh, I'm sorry. What?

Lucas: What was that -- a text message? We talked about this. Tonight is about us.

Sami: It's not my fault. My mom said she has to talk to me and it's important. I'm sorry.

Lucas: No. It's fine. I guess it's important, right?

Sami: Well, yeah, but it won't be long. I'll just talk to her, and it'll be quick.

Lucas: Better not be long.

Sami: I promise.

Lucas: I can't wait that long, okay? I'm dying. Hurry up. [Door closes]

Sami: Oh!

Celeste: Are you ready? We have to go.

Sami: No. I'm not ready. This is not working out. I am not gonna be able to get out of here. It's not gonna happen.

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives.

Willow: Are you saying that the hairbrush is gone?

Roman: That is exactly what I'm saying.

Willow: And you think I took it. Why would I do that?

Roman: Because you know your DNA is on it.

Willow: No, it isn't. I-I swear. That brush is my ticket out of here!

Roman: Nobody believes you.

Willow: But it's the truth.

Roman: You have been lying to us from the get-go. It's time to stop that right now.

Willow: I'm not lying.

Roman: Listen to me. Where in the hell is the hairbrush?

Nick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. M-maybe you should leave her alone.

Sami: This is it. It's over. My life is over.

Celeste: Samantha, calm down.

Sami: I am not gonna calm down. We are talking about the entire world crashing down around me, and you want me to calm down?

Celeste: You can still make it to the cabin in time.

Sami: No, I can't. That is what I'm trying to tell you. Lucas has planned this romantic dinner for us -- this whole evening. It would be a little bit awkward if the bride-to-be didn't show up for it, so that's it. This whole thing's ruined. I can't get out of it.

Chelsea: Hmm. Well, actually you can.

Sami: What?

Celeste: I have an idea, darling, if you just calm down long enough to listen to it.

Sami: Explain it, please.

Celeste: The acupain lipstick. You did apply the protective lip balm after your photo session? You don't want to drug yourself.

Sami: Yes, yes. I've been applying it all night. It's for E.J. What do you want to do with it now?

Celeste: You are first gonna use it on Lucas. One kiss, and he'll be out, and then we can be on our way.

Sami: Have you lost your mind? I am not drugging my fiancé.

Celeste: Oh, but you are, my dear, because the sad fact is you don't have a choice.

Will: All right. 10 plus 3 is 13, and it's a triple-word score, so that makes 39 points. You are toast. I've got this game in the bag.

Kate: [Sighs] Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going? I don't give up that easily.

Will: Tell me about it. I'm just getting a soda from the fridge. You want anything?

Kate: No. No. That's okay.

Will: All right.

E.J.: I should tell you -- I don't react particularly well to intimidation.

Philip: We made a deal, and I didn't want you running off to Vegas to elope right in the middle of everything.

E.J.: My personal life has nothing to do with our deal.

Philip: What happens if Shawn makes contact with Bo and Hope and you're not there? What was the point of installing those cameras and mikes in their house if no one's gonna be there to monitor them?

E.J.: You have your priorities, don't you? I also have mine. I'm not going to be away long.

Philip: Not good enough. I want that phone and converter by the time you leave town.

E.J.: Do you, now? What are you going to do if I don't give it to you?

Philip: You'll either give them to me, or I'll take them from you. Understood?

Will: I'll be right there, grandma. I just forgot to TIVO something for my dad.

Kate: Yeah, that's okay, sweetie. Take your time. Take your time. [Sighs] "Man." Damn. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Max: Come on, Chelsea. We've been down this road before, and we both know it doesn't work.

Chelsea: Max, you really need to get over yourself. It's not like I'm looking for an engagement ring or anything.

Max: Oh, then what were you looking for? You know Abby and I -- you know we have something happening there.

Chelsea: Well, I thought her Aunt Maggie wanted you to keep your precious, little hands off her little princess.

Max: That doesn't change how I feel.

Chelsea: Great. Well, good luck with that.

Max: Chelsea, what's going on here?

Chelsea: What do you mean?

Max: You call me over here with the story about your car -- this lame story about your car. You practically attack me. And I know you're not into me anymore, either, so what happened? What did you do this time?

Chelsea: What did I do this time?

Max: Yeah.

Chelsea: Well, thanks a lot. My whole life is practically disintegrating, and you, just like everybody else, automatically think that I've done something terrible. But guess what. It wasn't me that screwed up. It was your precious, little Abigail and her stupid cousin Nick.

Roman: Excuse me, Nick? What'd you say?

Nick: I-I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, sir. I'm just saying that just because the brush was reported missing this morning, that doesn't mean that that's when it was stolen, if it was even stolen in the first place.

Roman: That's very possible, but there is only one way we're gonna find out.

Willow: You won't find anything here, commissioner, and if you want, you can do a strip search all by yourself.

E.J.: You're threatening me, are you?

Philip: I'll do whatever it takes to find my daughter.

E.J.: I'm still very intent on finding Shawn. Nothing's changed.

Philip: So, what's the big deal, E.J.? What's it matter who has the equipment? I was willing to trust you to share whatever information came in, and now it's your turn to trust me. I'm gonna monitor Bo and Hope's place myself while you're gone. You either agree to that, or the deal is off.

E.J.: Normally, I, uh -- I don't take well to being threatened, but it's the eve of my wedding, so, as you can tell, I'm in a good mood. I'll let it slide.

Philip: So, when do I get the stuff?

E.J.: My flight leaves in an hour, so if you want to do this, we're gonna have to do this now.

Philip: I'll see you at your place.

E.J.: Before you go, come here. [Clears throat] You, uh, seem to be under the impression here that you have the upper hand. You don't. So if you even think about pulling a fast one as far as Shawn Brady goes, you're gonna find that out.

Philip: I hear you.

E.J.: Oh, I hope you do, because, in case you didn't hear, you don't want to cross a DiMera.

Philip: [Chuckles] I've lost a leg, had my face rearranged, and my heart broken in a million places 'cause my daughter is somewhere across the ocean and I can't get to her. So there's nothing you can throw at me, E.J.

E.J.: [Laughs] You know, there's always something. Let's just hope that our relationship doesn't get to a point where I need to find out exactly what that is, eh?

Celeste: You know it's the only way, Samantha. If you want to keep E.J. from destroying your life, you have to do this.

Sami: I am not going to drug my fiancé. What if he has some sort of bad reaction to it?

Celeste: But he won't, darling. It'll only put him to sleep long enough for you to get up to that cabin, kill E.J., and be back here before he's aware you're gone.

Sami: I can't believe you just say it like that -- like a list of things to do. "I've got to brush my teeth and do the dishes and murder someone." It is not that simple.

Celeste: But it is. You'd be preserving your family and ridding the world of a monster at the same time. It's not murder, Samantha. It's justice.

Sami: Give me 20 minutes. I'll meet you downstairs.

Celeste: You're doing the right thing, Samantha. You just remember that.

Kate: [Exhales deeply] That little bitch. That little bitch!

Will: Grandma, what happened? What's going on?

Kate: Look, honey, I need to go out for a couple of hours. Are you gonna be okay?

Will: Yeah, sure, but where are you going?

Kate: I'm going to go prove to someone that I was right.

Chelsea: How about another beer?

Max: Uh, no, thanks. And I thought you were drinking soda.

Chelsea: I'm switching.

Max: I don't think so.

Chelsea: Excuse me?

Max: Chelsea, talk to me. What did Abby do that was so terrible?

Chelsea: You mean my nearest, dearest best friend Abby?

Max: Mm-hmm.

Chelsea: The one that kept secrets from me?

Max: What secrets?

Chelsea: [Sighs] Nick has broken my heart twice now. Kind of hard to believe, but it's true. He has done two horrible things that I didn't know about and Abby did, and she never told me. She never tried to warn me. She didn't do anything.

Max: So you thought you'd pay her back by, uh, jumping my bones?

Chelsea: Oh, God. You must think that I'm a total nut case or an idiot, though right now I feel like both.

Max: Actually, I think you're pretty normal.

Roman: Knock it off, Willow. It's not working. Put your gown back on.

Willow: You don't know what you're missing, commissioner.

Roman: Oh, I think I got a pretty good idea. And you are a sad, angry girl who lashes out at people when you don't get your own way or tries to burn their houses down.

Willow: Just trying to prove to you that I don't need to hide anything.

Roman: I know what you're trying to do.

Willow: I didn't burn down anybody's house. He's right. I'm pathetic. And now I'm totally screwed. That brush was my ticket out of this mess. Now I'm gonna be having my baby in prison.

Nick: No, you won't. I'm gonna fix this right now.

Roman: You know what? Why don't you go in there and just kind of go through her stuff. See if you can come up with anything.

Officer: Yes sir.

Roman: Okay. Thanks.

Nick: Excuse me, Commissioner Brady. I really don't think that Willow took that hairbrush. It's just not plausible.

Roman: Nick, tell me something. When did you become Willow Stark's best friend?

Lucas: What happened to you?

Sami: Um, sorry, honey. I was talking to my mom, and -- and it just took longer than I thought. How was your shower?

Lucas: It was kind of freezing. Now I'm all pruney. Look at my hands.

Sami: Sorry.

Lucas: Although look at that lipstick. Wow. Is that new?

Sami: Uh, yeah, actually. I just got it. Do you like it?

Lucas: Ooh, yeah. Come here. Let me show you how much I like it.

Sami: Wow.

Lucas: Look, um... I can't help it. Is something bothering you, I mean, besides your back -- something you're not telling me?

Sami: No. Nothing is bothering me. I just -- I just was nervous about my mom and worried about her, but now I'm here with you. I am -- I'm all yours.

Lucas: I like that. Oh. We don't have room service. Where the hell is the room service? I called so long ago. This is ridiculous. Yeah, this is 1025. Where's my room service? No, I ordered like a half-hour ago. Right. I understand that. I understand that, but this is a very special occasion. Please. All right. Thank you. I really appreciate it. I won't be so rude next time. All right. The strawberries and chocolate are on their way up.

Sami: Great.

Lucas: Now, where were we?

Sami: I think we were right...about here.

Sami: Lucas... Lucas, I love you so much.

Lucas: I love you, too. Shut up and kiss me, all right? [Knock on door]

Sami: Don't answer it.

Lucas: What are you talking about? I got to answer it. We got room service coming. I was rude on the phone. Strawberries and chocolate. Nothing but good stuff. Uh... Mom. Hey.

Philip: So you're sure this is everything?

E.J.: Uh, let's see. You have the cables, the converter, the cellphone with the pass codes -- yes.

Philip: It seems pretty complicated.

E.J.: You're the guy who installed it. I would have thought you would have some idea how it worked.

Philip: Not this part. Billie didn't get into it.

E.J.: Um, okay, in which case, let me introduce you to my I.T. guy. You'll like him. He's a genius.

Philip: Who, my brother?

E.J.: No. Will -- just the person I was looking for.

Chelsea: Do you think it's normal what I just did?

Max: Come. I think it's normal when you're hurt to want payback, but I don't necessarily agree with your target.

Chelsea: Abby?

Max: It's not like she was trying to hurt you. She was probably trying to do the opposite.

Chelsea: You would defend her.

Max: That's not what this is about.

Chelsea: It is. You like her.

Max: What if the situation was reversed? What if you knew something that was totally devastating to Abby if she found out? Would you be so quick to tell her?

Chelsea: I don't know. Maybe.

Max: Probably not. You'd want to protect her. You'd want to be a friend to Nick, too. I'm not saying what she did was right. I'm just trying to get you to understand the position she was in and cut her some slack.

Chelsea: Okay. So maybe I overreacted a little.

Max: A little.

Chelsea: It's just such a shock. This whole time, Abby knows about Nick and my mom, and she doesn't say a word, and I cannot stop picturing them in bed together.

Max: Back up a second. Nick and your mom?

Chelsea: Yeah. They had sex. Didn't you know?

Nick: I'm not Willow's best friend. I don't even know her that well.

Roman: Well, for somebody who says he's not involved, you're pretty close to the situation, Nick, and that could be very dangerous for you.

Nick: What do you mean?

Roman: I hope you got enough sense to hear what I'm saying, 'cause I'm gonna say it like it is. That girl in there is trouble, all right? She nearly burned down two houses. She bilked Bo and Hope out of a small fortune and damn near caused Shawn his daughter.

Nick: I know that she's done a lot of bad things, but that doesn't mean that she's guilty of this crime.

Roman: Did you ever hear the story of the scorpion and the frog?

Nick: Uh, yeah, I think so.

Roman: Well, as wounded as Willow is, she's still a scorpion. It's in her nature. She just can't help it.

Kate: Oh, Lucas.

Lucas: Don't "Lucas" me like that. We're busy, all right? We're having our own time, in case you haven't noticed. Why don't you leave?

Kate: No. Believe me, I noticed. But I do have to talk to you.

Lucas: Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait.

Kate: No, actually, it can't wait. It's about Mythic's media conference next week. I need to talk to you about it, and I would really like to do it in private.

Lucas: And that's why you're interrupting us right now?

Kate: Yes. Yes. Because it's important. Actually, it's urgent.

Lucas: I don't care if it's important.

Sami: It's fine. Why don't you just talk to your mom about business or whatever. It's not like it's actually our honeymoon night. I'll just go take a shower.

Lucas: Are you sure about that, honey?

Sami: Yeah. Yeah, it's no problem.

Lucas: All right. Thank you.

Sami: Of course.

Lucas: All right. Come in, Mom. What's so damn important?

Kate: Wait. Wait. [Door closes]

Lucas: For what? [Water running]

Kate: For that. No, never mind, 'cause, actually, I don't trust her at all. We need to talk outside.

Lucas: I don't have any secrets from Sami.

Kate: Oh, please, Lucas.

Lucas: If this is about E.J., I'll talk to you. If you're gonna go to the Sec, great. But if not, it can wait. There's no reason why it can't.

Kate: I will you tell you why, but we need to talk outside.

Officer: Suspect is clean, Commissioner. There's no trace of the brush anywhere in the room or on her person.

Nick: That's good news. I, um, I brought you a sandwich.

Willow: Thanks. Nick, I'm sorry.

Nick: Why?

Willow: For flashing you and the commissioner. I was upset. It was bad.

Nick: Don't worry about it. What matters now is that the brush isn't here. So you're off the hook. It's all good.

Willow: No, it's not all good, because I'm still going to take the fall for the arson, thanks to whoever really stole the brush. And I think I know who it is.

Chelsea: I can't believe that Abby never blabbed a word about my mom and Nick to you.

Max: No. Not a word. Wow. Nick and your mom? That's -- that's pretty twisted. Were they having an affair or something?

Chelsea: I don't know. They claim it only happened once, as if that makes it okay.

Max: You know, Chelse, that's a tough one.

Chelsea: Tell me about it.

Max: But you can't let something like that ruin the rest of your life. As bad as it was, you've come so far to let even something like that get in your way.

Chelsea: Sometimes I wonder.

Max: What do you mean?

Chelsea: Sometimes I wonder how far I've come. I mean, I think tonight kind of proves that, don't you?

Max: I won't tell anybody if you don't.

Chelsea: So you think I should just forget about everything that happened?

Max: You should stop playing the victim and take responsibility for your own life and your own happiness -- starting right now.

[Water running in distance]

Kate: I need you to listen to me so hopefully you will avoid making another horrible mistake in your life.

Lucas: I don't believe it. I don't believe you're starting up with this again.

Kate: Would you listen to me? Just listen.

Lucas: All right.

Kate: After you left Chez Rouge, I pressured E.J. to tell me a little bit more about this mystery woman he is whisking off to Las Vegas.

Lucas: That's why you interrupted us -- to tell me about E.J.'s shotgun wedding?

Kate: No, it's not just about the wedding.

Lucas: Listen to me. I'm gonna get this tattooed on my forehead so you can read it every time you see me -- "I don't care."

Kate: Well, you better care, because it involves you.

Will: Uncle Philip, what are you doing here with...him?

Philip: We're working on a project together, Will. Mind if we come in?

Will: Well, you can. My mom totally reamed me for taking that money from you.

E.J.: You're kidding. That's disgusting. You earned that money. Listen, Will, I was wondering if you could show your uncle here the same thing you showed me -- how to use the VGA converter. I would do it myself. Unfortunately, I have to run.

Philip: What do you say? I'd really appreciate it.

Will: I-I guess it would be all right.

E.J.: Good lad. I trust you'll be in touch.

Philip: You can count on it.

E.J.: I hope so... for your sake.

[Cellphone ringing]

Sami: Not now!

Kate: It took some doing, but I finally got the name out of E.J. Brandy Mathas.

Lucas: Sounds like some kind of stripper.

Kate: Actually, it's close to being an anagram.

Sami: What?!

Celeste: Have you done it?

Sami: No. Now I think I might have lost my chance.

Kate: Take a look, Lucas. Take a long, hard look. Maybe you'll notice that the names are the same, with the same amount of letters.

Lucas: I don't care. I don't know what you're talking about.

Kate: [Scoffs] Samantha Brady, Brandy Mathas -- they're the same person. Sami is leaving this hotel room tonight, she's going to Vegas, and she's going to marry E.J.

Sami: Look, I tried Celeste. I put the lipstick on. I was getting ready to kiss Lucas when Kate showed up. She's here. She knows something.

Celeste: Forget about Kate. Just find a way out of there. It's almost 8:30.

Lucas: This can't be happening.

Kate: Honey, I'm sorry.

Lucas: Don't tell me you're crazy enough to believe that Sami's gonna run off with E.J.

Kate: Lucas, Brandy and Sami are the same person.

Lucas: You know what this is? This is probably retaliation. He's trying to get even with me.

Kate: Retaliation?

Lucas: Yeah. Yeah. Because I threatened him. Because I knew about him cooking the books.

Kate: You did not.

Lucas: Hell, yeah, I did. I told him I'd go to the sec if he didn't leave me and my family alone.

Kate: Well, that wasn't a very smart move, Lucas.

Lucas: I don't care. And now he's concocting this whole stupid story about Brandy. Forget it. I'm not interested. And you know what? You bought it. You're the fool. You're the one being played for a fool tonight, not me.

Chelsea: You make it sound so easy.

Max: It is.

Chelsea: For you maybe, Max. It's not like Nick just slept with another woman. He slept with my mom.

Max: You were hurt. It happens. Just deal with it and move on.

Chelsea: How am I supposed to move on when I see him every day at the lab?

Max: It's not like working with DNA samples is your dream job. Do what you need to to care for yourself.

Chelsea: Yeah. Like get a new job.

Max: Ah, yeah.

Chelsea: Maybe it's -- maybe it's time to make changes all the way around.

Max: Sounds like a plan to me.

Chelsea: Including ditching Abby.

Max: Abby was a good friend to you.

Chelsea: Yeah, so I thought.

Max: You just said you'd do the same thing if the situation was reversed.

Chelsea: I guess.

Max: You need to stop looking for people that are gonna rescue you and blame them when they don't. Take responsibility. Be your own hero. That way, no one can ever disappoint you.

Nick: Who do you think took the brush?

Willow: Chelsea. Who else? She works in the lab. She had access.

Nick: No. It wasn't Chelsea. She never had access to the lab. She was a suspect.

Willow: Like that would stop her. She's such a good girl.

Nick: It wasn't Chelsea! I know it wasn't Chelsea.

Willow: Okay. Fine. It wasn't her. Then she had someone do it for her.

Sami: Celeste, I have to go. I will keep you posted, okay?

Lucas: E.J. Wells is insane. You're insane. This whole thing is insane. It's ridiculous, ludicrous.

Kate: All I'm asking you to do is talk to her about it. Ask her about it and see how she reacts.

Lucas: No, I'm not gonna say a thing. I'm gonna go back in there and have a romantic evening, just like we're gonna do for the rest of our lives. The sooner you and E.J. get used to that, the better off you'll both be. Good night.

Kate: Lucas, wait. Now, I know you don't want to believe that it's true, but it is. Sami is the one who's going to Vegas with E.J.

Lucas: Listen to me. I don't want to listen to any more of your garbage, you got that?

Sami: Hey. So, how'd it go with your mom? Is she -- is everything all right?

Chelsea: So, you promise that you won't say anything to Abby?

Max: Not a word.

Chelsea: You know, you really are a good guy, despite what anyone says.

Max: What?

Chelsea: I'm kidding. But you're a really good friend.

Max: You're gonna be okay. I believe that.

Chelsea: I know. I know what I have to do now.

Max: Chelsea...

Chelsea: What? Don't worry about it. Listen, I'm gonna be fine, and I am. I know it.

Nick: I really don't know who Chelsea would have gotten to steal that brush. That's ridiculous.

Willow: For a minute and a half, I thought it was you. But you're such a boy scout. You'd never do anything like that, even for her.

Nick: I'm not such a boy scout.

Willow: Yes, you are. You're such a good guy. I haven't met that many of them.

Nick: Okay. I'm gonna come check up on you tomorrow, all right?

Willow: Well, come early, 'cause I'm sure they're gonna ship me out to my jail cell first thing.

Nick: It's gonna be okay, Willow.

Willow: Yeah. I'd like to believe that, but I've never had good luck, so nothing's gonna change now.

Nick: [Inhales, exhales deeply] What the hell have I done?

E.J.: Ah.

Kate: So, I thought you would have been on a plane by now to Vegas with -- what was her name?

E.J.: Brandy. If you'll excuse, I'm heading off there now. My limo driver is waiting downstairs.

Kate: I'm on to you.

E.J.: Really?

Kate: Yes.

E.J.: Literally?

Kate: Brandy Mathas, Samantha Brady are the same person.

E.J.: Really? What a strange coincidence.

Kate: I don't know what kind of tricks you have planned, but I don't think they're going to work out, because, you see, Sami and Lucas are in a hotel room right now, and I don't think she's going to leave the bedroom, much less get on a plane to Vegas with you.

E.J.: I guess we'll have to see about that, won't we?

Kate: Yes, we will.

E.J.: I'm gonna miss you.

Will: And then you just plug it in right here, and then you're good to go.

Philip: Not bad.

Kate: Hey. What's going on?

Philip: Hey, Mom. I just stopped by to say hi to Will.

Kate: Oh, well, I think that's nice. You're spending a little time with your nephew.

Will: I told E.J. to get lost.

Kate: E.J. was here?

Will: With Uncle Philip.

Philip: Shh!

Will: And could you tell my mom that I didn't let him in so she doesn't have a cow again?

Kate: Will, um, could you give us a few minutes together alone? I want to talk to your uncle.

Will: Yeah, sure. I got to do some homework.

Kate: Okay. Let's have it. Why are you suddenly so chummy with E.J.?

Lucas: My mom just went on and on about some stupid business with E.J., but you know what? That doesn't matter. It's not important. The only thing that's important is you're not wearing anything under that robe, are you? Ooh, you got that killer lipstick on, still.

Sami: Right. It's waterproof.

Lucas: Listen, I know you probably heard this a million times, but I want you to know that I'll always care for you. I mean, you mean everything to me. I'm sorry about my mom and everything she's done in the past. I will never, ever let her doubt you again or anybody else. And I've never meant -- I've never meant this more, but we're gonna be together, all right? In sickness and in health... forsaking all others... till death do us part. I love you and only you, and I'm never gonna let anybody come between us again. Do you hear me?

Sami: This is the part where you're supposed to kiss the bride.

Lucas: Yeah. I think you're right about that.

Kate: You have to tell me what the two of you are up to.

Philip: I can't stop it, Mom.

Belle: I don't trust her.

Shawn D.: I'm starting to feel like you don't trust me.

Willow: Which one of you came up with the brilliant idea of stealing the hairbrush from the lab?

Sami: I'm a woman. I have needs.

E.J.: I think that you're playing me for a fool.

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