[an error occurred while processing this directive] AW Transcript Friday 12/16/05 [an error occurred while processing this directive]
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Another World Transcript Friday 12/16/05

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Provided by Boo
Proofread By Ebele

Vicky: This is Amanda's.

Evan: Yes.

Vicky: And it was on the ledge next to the bed.

Evan: Vicky, why don't you cool your jets? She came over here the other night for a few minutes. It must have just fallen off.

Vicky: If my memory serves me, doesn't this pretty little bed have a Jacuzzi stashed underneath it? She didn't happen to be bathing, did she?

Evan: Why don't you lay off?

Vicky: Huh.

Evan: Your imagination's running wild again.

Vicky: Ah, no. It's not. You're a terrible liar. See, I saw what went on the night of the deadline.

Evan: Oh, yeah? And what did you see?

Vicky: The hot looks, little back rub. You would have torn each other's clothes off in the office if you had a chance, but obviously you were a little more discreet and came back here, huh?

Evan: Ok, Vicky. You can go now.

Vicky: Oh, I know the signs, sweetheart. And now Amanda's sudden disappearance is making more sense to me. You finally managed to do it, huh? You slept with Amanda, didn't you?

Evan: Yes, I did.

Cass: I think it's kismet.

Frankie: Do you?

Cass: The psychic counselor said so. What better authority? We obviously belong together, and now we have cosmic proof.

Frankie: Do you think I was born yesterday, Winthrop?

Cass: What?

Frankie: On top of everything else that you think I am, do you think that my I.Q. is the same as my shoe size?

Cass: Oh, no, no, no. I don't think that at all. You told me that your I.Q. was 162. You're a genius, which is one of the many things that I adore about you--

Frankie: Oh, shut up, Winthrop. That jerk was no new-age guide. He was some suit that couldn't act his way out of a paper bag.

Cass: Now, that really disappoints me.

Frankie: How could you do that to me, Cass? How could you set me up that way? You lied to me again!

Zack: I am starving.

Ronnie: Well, if you would eat your meals at normal hours, you wouldn't put yourself through this every day of your life.

Zack: Oh, yeah?

Ronnie: [Giggling] All right, stop it.

Tess: Ronnie?

Ronnie: Yes?

Tess: I'm sorry. I don't mean to track you down like this, but we need to talk.

Ronnie: What did Reuben do now?

Tess: I'm afraid of what he might do to himself.

Reuben: Oh, man. This is so beautiful I could cry, ha ha. Aw....baby, you're going to be the key to my success. Ha ha.

[Makes kissing sound] Yeah. Hey, what are you doing in here, man? Get out! Ah!

Zack: Hurt?

Tess: Just his pride for now. I'm worried about him. Reuben met my mother today.

Ronnie: Oh, Reuben doesn't do very well with mothers.

Tess: And my mother doesn't do very well with friends of mine she doesn't know.

Ronnie: Was it a disaster?

Tess: Total and complete.

Zack: Well, one thing you can say for Reuben... he's consistent.

Ronnie: What happened?

Tess: Well, afterwards, we got in a fight, and I kind of walked out on him.

Zack: What kind of fight?

Tess: Well, he kept harping on that money thing again. And I got fed up, so I stormed out.

Ronnie: Oh, Reuben.

Tess: I like him. He knows that. It's just that for some stupid reason he thinks that if he doesn't have money, I'm going to leave him.

Ronnie: Look, Tess, honey, you have to face the facts. You two have a built-in problem here. I mean, Reuben resents anyone who has more than what he has, and meanwhile he wants to be just like them.

Tess: But why?

Zack: Because he wants everything, and he doesn't know how to get it, so he's always this close to trouble. Been lucky so far.

Ronnie: Hmm, so far.

Tess: I've been looking everywhere for him, and I can't find him.

Ronnie: Don't bother.

Zack: Come on, Ronnie.

Ronnie: Zack, I've gone through this before.

Tess: I thought you might tell me where to look for him. Ronnie, I need to talk to him.

Ronnie: If Reuben's made himself scarce, if he doesn't want to be found-Tess, believe me. You won't find him.

Tess: What do you mean?

Ronnie: Look, maybe you should just forget about Reuben. I mean, he's always going to be trying to prove himself to you, Tess, because you have the one thing that he doesn't have. Now, he thinks money makes you somebody. And he won't quit until he proves it, even if it kills him.

Reuben: I must have been watching too much MTV or something. Are you--?

Man: Your guide.

Reuben: My guide? To where?

Man: You'll see. You were looking for this? Your key to success.

Money money money money money...

Zack: Where we going?

Man: Dreamstreet.

Reuben: Dreamstreet? Are you serious? Oh, my God. I don't believe it. Hold up.

Man: Dreamstreet.

Reuben: Hold on. This is one of those hidden video TV shows, right? Where they play practical jokes on you, make you look real stupid on national TV, right? Yeah, yeah. I caught y'all this time, didn't I? Yeah. Cass, Zack, come on. Yo, Ronnie! Stacey? Now, hold on. Naw, man. I'm ready to wake up, ok?

Man: Welcome to your fantasy... Reuben.

Reuben: Nice.

Reuben: "You are cordially invited to honor Reuben Lawrence"? Am I reading this right, man? "The richest man in Bay City"?

Ronnie: Ho

Courtney: Ho

Ronnie: I said ho

Courtney: Ho oh, you fenced the goods

Ronnie: Without a hitch

Courtney: You made the score

Ronnie: And now y-y-y-you're rich

Courtney and Ronnie: Ch ch-ch ch ch-ch ch ch-ch...

Reuben: You mean that stuff in the warehouse? I didn't get caught or nothing?

Courtney: You broke the law

Ronnie: But no one saw

Courtney and Ronnie: Rich, rich we're talking filthy rich

Reuben: I got away with that?

Courtney and Ronnie: ...Yeah filthy rich

Reuben: I didn't get caught or nothing?

Reuben: You mean--my luck is changing, man. I'm rich! Hold up. Exactly how rich am I? Am I richer than... Oprah Winfrey?

All: Don't push it.

Courtney and Ronnie: Rich, rich filthy rich

Reuben: Yes! Oh, now I can do whatever I wanted to do. I can be whoever I always wanted to be. No more struggling. No more wanting things I can't afford to buy. Oh, man. I'm going to be big. I'm going to be international. (Tinkling of bells) Is this for me? Oh, man. I've always wanted a limousine with a TV inside. I got two TVs! I got two TVs in my limousine!

Ronnie: Please! Oh, please let me have your--

Reuben: Got two TVs!

Courtney: Sign, please. Oh--

Reuben: I don't want this fantasy to be over with too quick. What's your name, darling?

Ronnie: Oh, just write--oh, anything. Just write that-- Courtney: ...Filthy rich rich, rich...

Ronnie: Rich, rich... filthy rich...

Courtney: Rich, rich filthy rich...

[Evan sighs]

Vicky: Well, I guess congratulations are in order.

Evan: That's enough, Vicky.

Vicky: For a man who got what he wanted this whole past year, you don't look too happy.

Evan: I'm happy. I'm happy. Are you satisfied?

Vicky: No, no. And neither are you. Not that that surprises me. Sorry.

Evan: Don't you have anything else to do this afternoon besides bug me?

Vicky: No, I don't. So tell me. Was it everything you thought it would be? How'd you get her to do it? Got her drunk?

Evan: You know, you're heartless.

Vicky: Oh, ok. So that wasn't it. Was it blackmail? Blackmail, now, that always worked for me, but it does come back to haunt you--

Evan: You see, I don't expect you to understand what it was like, because you don't know what it means to make love with someone that you love more than anything in the whole world.

Vicky: Oh, you're wrong there. You're so very wrong.

Evan: Yeah, well, I don't like your attitude, Vicky.

Vicky: Why are you being so evasive? We were in this together not too long ago, remember? I helped you to get Amanda. And now that you've gotten her, I just want to hear some of the gory details.

Evan: See, I didn't plan this whole thing.

Vicky: Oh, honestly.

Evan: Honestly. We came back here after we went to the newsstands and we saw the issues of "Sophisticate.." We were wired, but we were both totally exhausted, so I suggested the hot tub, and Amanda agreed.

Vicky: Oh! In the hot tub, huh?

Evan: Vicky, this meant something to me. If you want to sit here and demean it, you can leave.

Vicky: That's all right. Just fooling around.

Evan: Well, I wasn't.

[Vicky clears throat] Now, this is very special to me.

Vicky: Are you...all right?

Evan: No... I'm not.

Vicky: She really got to you.

Evan: She always has.

Vicky: How does she feel?

Evan: Same way.

Vicky: Well, then I don't get it.

Evan: What don't you get, Vicky?

Vicky: Puppy-dog eyes, the sad face. You've never had a better experience in your life. She felt the same way.

Evan: It's not that easy. You see, she's still married, Vicky.

Vicky: Well, if she loves you, why doesn't she just leave Sam--

Evan: Because she left town. And, see, at this point, I really don't know if I'm eager to see her again.

Stacey: Well, you were right on time, Mrs. Temple.

Mrs. Temple: Of course I was.

Jamie: Did you have any trouble finding the house?

Mrs. Temple: I read the directions. I know how to drive. Could we get on with this?

Stacey: Oh, right. Yes.

[Jamie chuckles]

Stacey: Well, now, you have excellent references here. I see that you--you were a nanny for the Stevenson children.

Mrs. Temple: Yes.

Jamie: And how did you like that?

Mrs.. Temple: It was my job, Dr. Frame.

Stacey: Right. Maybe you could describe for us what a typical day with you as a nanny would be like.

Mrs. Temple: Well, I subscribe to a very simple system which, if adhered to, produces well-behaved and obedient children.

Jamie: Produces?

Mrs. Temple: Would you care to hear the system or not?

Jamie: Dying to, Mrs. Temple.

Mrs. Temple: A regimen is necessary. It begins with sleeping patterns which directly correlates to dietary practices, which determines the amount of exercise, which then leads to rest. It's a circle, you see.

Jamie: A circle?

Mrs. Temple: Yes, that's right. And the schedule remains unbroken like a circle. And in 5 years time, you have a perfectly regulated youngster. Ready to have it all undone by an unsupervised kindergarten. But I hope that some of what I teach remains with the children.

Stacey: When you say that the schedule remains unbroken, what exactly do you mean by that?

Mrs. Temple: Just what it sounds like, dear. My commitment to the child is total, and my supervision of its young life must be total.

Stacey: Now, Mrs. Temple, you don't really stick to that old clock so tightly, do you?

Jamie: Fascinating meeting you, Mrs. Temple. Fascinating. Thank you so much for stopping by. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

Mrs. Temple: When do I begin?

Jamie: I'll call you. Believe me. Thanks again for coming and drive safely. And thank you again. Bye.

Stacey: Ho oh!


Jamie: I want my kid to have a stable home life, not go to boot camp.

Stacey: You know, she has excellent references. If she's as bad as she seems, why is everybody raving about her?

Jamie: Mind control.

Stacey: What?

Jamie: She has all the parents set up on little schedules also. Let's check her resume and see if it lists her place of birth.

Stacey: I have her resume right here, and there's no place of birth.

Jamie: Are you sure it doesn't say "Stepford" anywhere in there?

Stacey: [Laughs] She was a horror show, wasn't she?

Jamie: Well, there are drill sergeants nicer than her.

Stacey: This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

Jamie: Well, we've seen 4 so far, and I haven't liked one yet.

Stacey: The first one. She was nice.

Jamie: You mean comparatively speaking.

Stacey: Maybe.

Jamie: I meant, compared to Hitler, Mussolini seemed a little nicer, right?

Stacey: [Laughs] Yes. Herr Temple was a bit fuehrer-esque, shall we say?

Jamie: Stacey, what am I going to do?

Stacey: I don't know. We'll find someone.

Jamie: You hope.

Stacey: Yeah. Maybe we're just approaching this whole thing wrong. Why don't you describe to me what would be a perfect nanny, and then we'll call up the screening agency, and we'll be more specific about the whole thing?

Jamie: Ok. She would have to be smart, young, friendly, of course, with a sense of humor. She'd have to know a lot about children. And she like--you know, someone like...

Stacey: What's the matter?

Jamie: Well, you know my ideal nanny, actually?

Stacey: Yeah.

Jamie: Would be someone just like you, Stacey. Someone exactly like you.

Cass: Don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?

Frankie: No, Cass. No, I do not. It is the same thing with you over and over again. You think I'd know better by now.

Cass: Frankie, wait. Frankie.

Frankie: Who was that guy, Cass? And if you tell me he's our spiritual counselor, I will break both your legs.

Cass: My accountant.

Frankie: Come again.

Cass: My accountant, Artie.

Frankie: Oh, Cass. Oh, you are so lame it is a wonder you can dress yourself in the morning.

Cass: Ok, so I was wrong. I'm a desperate man, and desperate men do desperate things.

Frankie: Do you have any idea why I believe in all of these things that you seem to find so worthy of a joke? The crystals, the tarot, the seers--

Cass: I wasn't making fun of you.

Frankie: I have spiritual beliefs, Cass. Can you understand that? I believe that there is something out there other than what we see here on this earth. Do you believe in God?

Cass: Oh, please, let's not drag religion into this--

Frankie: Oh, please let's do. Do you believe in God?

Cass: Yes, I do.

Cass: So how do you feel when someone insults what you believe in spiritually? Can't look me in the eye, can you?

Cass: I never knew that this meant--

Frankie: Bull. You knew exactly what my spirituality was and what it meant to me, and you still tried to pass off that geek as some true psychic just so you could get what you wanted.

Cass: That's not true.

Frankie: Oh, sure it is, but you are so self-involved and ignorant that you're afraid to admit that what you don't understand frightens you, so you use your jokes as an armor.

Cass: I can be sensitive. I can.

Frankie: Your whole being is surrounded by negative energy. I don't know why I kept ignoring the vibrations.

Cass: Because you like me. Because you like me a lot.

Frankie: You should never follow your heart. It always beats you up in the end.

Cass: Ok, ok. So I have been callous..

Frankie: A polite term for asinine.

Cass: But where does this come from?

Frankie: What come from?

Cass: All these beliefs?

Frankie: A long time ago, I-- I'm not gonna tell this to you. Not now.

Cass: Well, when can we talk about it?

Frankie: Never. I can never trust you. I never should have.

Cass: I'm not all that bad, Frankie--

Frankie: We have no future, Cass. What could we possibly say to each other now?

Vicky: Sorry, but all this lovemaking talk got me really hungry. Where were we?

Evan: Nowhere.

Vicky: Come on, Evan. You can't expect Amanda to have everything in her head straight already, can you? She's got a husband and a kid. Trust me, it ain't easy.

Evan: But she's left town. You see, she ran out of here. Nobody's heard from her since.

Vicky: Nobody?

Evan: Well, you were at the Corys when she called and left a message. But Sam's trying to cover. He doesn't know where she is or when she's coming back. It's just not like her.

Vicky: Well, it's not like her to cheat on her husband either. Face it--that's what she did. No matter how bad she has it for you, she's still got a guilt in her just like the rest of us.

Evan: Yeah, but she shouldn't be alone.

Vicky: Would you rather she left your bed and went home to Sam?

Evan: I don't know.

Vicky: All right, look at it this way. If she didn't care about it at all, she would have gone home to Sam. And it--if it affected her in the way that you think it did, she needs to be alone. Besides, she was never real swift at facing her problems head on.

Evan: So what are you saying?

Vicky: I know you love her, but you've got to understand her. She has never been good at facing reality unless she has some man behind her coaching her on how to do it.

Evan: Oh, this advice is coming from the world's most open and up-front woman.

Vicky: All right, fine. I did run away, but I came back, right?

Evan: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Vicky: Ok. Fine. Actually, there is something you should think about.

Evan: What?

Vicky: Do you know what they say about women who cheat on their husbands?

Evan: What do they say?

Vicky: If they cheated on them, they can cheat on you, too.

Evan: Are you serious?

Vicky: Absolutely.

Evan: I think those preservatives in those potato chips that you've been eating are rotting your brain cells--

Vicky: I am trying to help you, Evan.

Evan: Oh, I see. Is this your idea of help?

Vicky: You want to be with Amanda, right?

Evan: Yes.

Vicky: Well, I hope you get what you want. No, more to the point, I hope what you want is in fact what you get.

Mrs. Parker: I hope I'm not interrupting.

Tess: Mother.

Mrs. Parker: I just wanted to say good-bye. I'm flying back to Chicago.

Tess: Mother, this is Ronnie Lawrence and Zack Edwards. Ronnie is Reuben's sister.

Ronnie: Nice to meet you.

Zack: Uh...please have a seat. I know you'd probably like to talk to Tess before you leave.

Mrs. Parker: Yes, thank you. I would.

Ronnie: Oh, yea--we're going to go sit at the bar.

Tess: All right.

Zack: It was a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Parker.

Mrs. Parker: Thank you. Nice to meet you..

Zack: You, too.

Tess: Well, I guess lunch with Reuben didn't go so great.

Mrs. Parker: He's certainly not what I expected.

Tess: And what is that?

Mrs. Parker: Just that he's not like the men you usually date.

Tess: Maybe that's why I like him.

Mrs. Parker: Don't take me wrong about this Tess, but you have a nice life here, and Reuben doesn't fit the picture.

Tess: Mother, college degrees, ivy league schools, upward mobility--that's your picture, not mine.

Mrs. Parker: Just what do you see in him?

Tess: Maybe what no one else does. Mom, when I first met Reuben, he was so much fun, and he was so vulnerable somehow.

Mrs. Parker: Reuben?

[Chuckles] He's tough as steel.

Tess: But he's not. He just acts like he's tough.

Mrs. Parker: No, he's headed for trouble, and he's going to take you right along with him.

Tess: Maybe I'll have to take that chance.

Mrs. Parker: Exactly how involved are you with Reuben?

Tess: Well, we're dating, but it's more than that. Look, I know he's not perfect, and he can be a little defensive sometimes, but we understand each other, you know?

Mrs. Parker: Just think about what you're doing. Please promise me.

Tess: Mom, I'm not a little girl anymore.

Mrs. Parker: I just want what's best for you.

Tess: I'm happy with Reuben. I just wish he were happier with himself.

...Money money money money money...

Reuben: Oh, man. This party better be the best that money can buy. I mean, I want it to be the party of my dream, the one I've seen a thousand times where champagne' s flowing everywhere and deals are being made all over the place and everybody respects me. I'm not the little law office gopher. I'm not Ronnie's little no-good brother. I'm not the one who's voted most likely to go to jail. I'm somebody that everybody respects. Yes.

[Bells tinkle]

Reuben: Excuse me, excuse me. Can I get one of those? He don't want one. He's driving.

There's a party going on right here everybody's got to...

Reuben: Hoo! Oh, man. Check out this guest list. Mick Jagger, Liz Taylor, Cher. They're all coming just to see me?

Man: You give great parties.

Reuben: Ha ha.

Crowd: Reuben!

Rich, rich filthy rich rich...

Reuben: This is where I belong, man. Hold up. Is that Elvis? That's Elvis, isn't it? Ha! Oh, man. There's one person here I want to see, and if she's here, all my dreams have come true.

Ronnie: Reuben. Reuben, do you remember?

Reuben: What are you talking about, do I remember you?

Zack: Oh, thank you so much for inviting us to this special party. I mean, we are so privileged to know you.

Reuben: You feeling all right, Zack?

Jesse: Reuben, man. Ah, great party. Hey, thanks for letting me invite the whole sophomore class at B.C.U.

Reuben: It's ok, man. You want me to donate something like a bell tower or something? It's just is too much.

Man: Don't you see Tess?

Reuben: Naw, naw. I don't see her yet.

Frankie: Reuben, darling. Fab party.

Cass: Primo, Reuben. But where's the dom? [Laughter] But seriously, I want to thank you for that tip on the two little film companies there. I should be grossing over $70 mil this year, and it's all because of you, babe. It is babe, isn't it?

Frankie: Mm-hmm.

Reuben: How much?

Cass: $70 mil, babe.

Frankie: You know, we bought ourselves a nice little bungalow up in the hills. 14 bedrooms, 6-car garage. You know the type.

Reuben: And what do you do, Frankie?

Frankie: Do?

Vicky: Pumpkin! Oh, excuse me! Excuse me! Is that you?

Reuben: Who's she calling pumpkin?

Vicky: Oh, so good to see you. This is Armani. Oh, darling, wonderful guest list. And those fire dancers you had flown in from Morocco--that was just too, too, too! I always knew you were one of us, even when you were a little lowly clerk at that Winthrop and Edwards, but I knew you wouldn't stay down for long.

Reuben: I can't believe that Vicky Hudson is at my party--

Vicky: No, no. Actually now it's Hudson-Cory-Frame-Forbes.

Reuben: Well, what you doing here, and why you acting so nice to me?

Vicky: We're millionaires. Isn't that all that matters, darling? Oh, I'll take you to lunch. I'll show you the ropes. You'll get the hang of it in no time. Ciao.. Mel, oh, Mel!

Reuben: Ciao.

Ronnie: Oh, Reuben, Reuben, how could I ever have doubted you?

Reuben: What'd I do now?

Ronnie: Zack just told me. You built a new hospital and named me to run it. Now my lifelong dream to become head nurse will finally be fulfilled!

[Cheering] Thank you. And it was so great of you to give Zack his own practice.

Zack: Look, I know I've been hard on you, but I know I was wrong and your way was right.

Ronnie: Yes.

Reuben: My way?

Zack: The easy way. I don't know why I even bothered going to law school. Mom, isn't this something?

Esther: I always thought you were something. I just couldn't get you to see it.

Mrs. Parker: You turned out to be quite a success, young man. Please forgive my horrible behavior at lunch.

Reuben: Say please.

Mrs. Parker: Please.

Reuben: I love this! Yes! You're the best.

Marshall: Hi, Mr. Lawrence.

Reuben: Marshall, my old rivalry. I see you've given up medicine.

Reuben: Oh, yes, Mr. Lawrence. Well, after the malpractice suit, nobody would hire me except you. Well, ever since you gave me this honest, respectable, hard-labor job, my life has been full. Oh, you're the greatest, boss. Oh, this is for you, sir.

Reuben: Thank you. That'll be all, Marshall. From Donald Trump. I was kind of hoping it'd be from Tess.

Man: You met in New York.

Reuben: How'd you know that?

Man: I know what you know even if you don't know you know it.

Reuben: Excuse me?

Man: Do you want to see her?

Reuben: More than anything, man. But not here. When I see Tess, I want to be alone..

Reuben: Tess, you look beautiful.

Tess: Thank you, Reuben.

Reuben: Oh, that dress is great. But you never wear stuff like that.

Tess: I know. That's why you bought it for me, remember?

Reuben: Right, right. I do have good taste.

Tess: I've never been so happy.

Reuben: I told you I'd do things, but my way.

Tess: And you were right.

Reuben: You just wouldn't believe in me before.

Tess: But you were right. You were right about everything.

Reuben: I did everything for you, Tess.

Tess: You lied and cheated and stole for me?

Reuben: That's not really important. I mean, it ain't how you play the game. It's if you win, right?

Tess: You chose me to be the girl of your dreams.

Reuben: Tess, I do love you. I'd do anything for you. I'm gonna get you everything that you've ever wanted.

Tess: I only want you.

Reuben: This wasn't good enough for you before. Now I'm going to give you something. How can--how did I know this was going to be in my pocket? Tess, from the first moment I saw you...I loved you. With you I'm so happy, I want to spend every day of my life with you. Tess... will you marry me?

She loves...

Cass: Will you hear me out? Could you at least do that much for me?

Frankie: What, I owe you something all of a sudden?

Cass: I'm appealing to your sense of decency.

Frankie: Huh. Must be foreign territory to you.

Cass: Oh, Frankie, please.

Frankie: What, Cass? What could you possibly say to me now? Oh, wait. I think I know. More lies on top of lies on top of excuses on top of lies. It's the story of your life, Winthrop. I'm surprised you've made it this far without having your eyes gouged out of your head.

Cass: You're making me out to be an ogre, and I'm not.

Frankie: No? Tell me, Cass. What would it take to make you tell me some truth today? Now, money talks for you. I know that much, but I can't give you that. Oh, and I know what else works for you, but I'm not getting anywhere near you. I might catch a disease.

Cass: All right! I lied to you. I lied to you again. Does that make you happy?

Frankie: Do I look happy?

Cass: But you want to know something? I would do it again, too.

Frankie: Oh, I'm so surprised.

Cass: I would do it because I want to be with you. But you're too stubborn to accept that simple declaration. I want another chance with you. I still do.

Frankie: So self-involved, egocentric--

Cass: I'm falling for you. We'd be great together. You ask any psychic--any true psychic, and they'd agree with me. I think we might be terrific together. Oh, Frankie, can't you see how badly I want this to work?

Frankie: Yeah. I do. I just wish that were enough.

Jamie: No, my personal favorite was the exotic dancer.

Stacey: Oh, yeah. Wants a day job? Oh, yeah.. Just wait a second. Look at what she wrote on this resume. "I've never had a child under 4 years old, but I'm certain that I can learn."

Jamie: I personally thought she had a lot of potential.

Stacey: Oh, stop. I can't believe an agency even sends her out.

Jamie: Maybe those ladies at the agency are--maybe they're all belly dancers. Maybe they're all exotic dancers. Maybe it's not--maybe the agency, you know, is not a nanny agency. Maybe it's just a front for belly dancers.

[Stacey laughs]

Jamie: Seriously, what are going to do? What have we done?

Stacey: We must get serious, or we're never going to find a good nanny for Steven. Now, come on.

Vicky: What the hell is going on in here?!

Jamie: I didn't hear you come in, Vicky.

Vicky: Obviously.

Stacey: Well, I think I'd better get going.

Vicky: Did you have enough of trying to raise my son for a day, Stacey?

Jamie: Hey, Vicky, that's enough.

Stacey: I'll call you tomorrow, Jamie, ok?

Jamie: I'll walk you to the door.

Stacey: No, no, no. Thank you, anyway. Good-bye.

Jamie: Thank you, Stacey.

Vicky: Very cozy.

Jamie: Vicky, I thought that you and I had gone past all those kind of things.

Vicky: And I thought it was your idea to get me involved in every decision about our son.

Jamie: Yes, it was.

Vicky: Then why on earth is she making the decision for a nanny for my son?

Jamie: She had a friend at the agency and offered to help. And I was going to have you interview who I chose.

Vicky: You were?

Jamie: Yes. When are you going to learn to trust me?

Vicky: Old habits die hard, I guess.

Jamie: Don't worry about it, ok?

Vicky: I'm going to go check on Steven, all right?

Jamie: Ok.

Vicky: We didn't have much good in our marriage, but... we sure scored big with our little boy, didn't we?

Jamie: He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Vicky: Me, too.

Tess: Ok, I know Reuben's very proud.

Zack: Too proud. I mean, he has got his priorities all screwed up, and he's irresponsible. Half the time--

Ronnie: Ok, Zack. Ok.

Zack: Look, I'm sorry. It's just that that kid drives me crazy. Here he's got a beautiful woman caring about him, and all he can think about is trying to keep up with the Joneses, which he can't.

Tess: I thought we were getting closer. I thought he was starting to understand what I really care about.

Ronnie: I have a feeling that's not money.

Tess: No, I like being with him. He makes me laugh. He makes me happy most of the time. And I just want to be able to do the same thing for him.

Zack: Well, I do, too, but Reuben thinks everybody's unhappy unless they're rich.

Tess: But that's ridiculous.

Zack: Look, what we're trying to say, Tess, is that as much as you like Reuben, I don't think he's capable of looking beyond who you are or where you come from.

Tess: Why can't he accept the fact that I like him?

Ronnie: Because my brother's as thick-headed as they come.. And that's not the only thing, Tess. There's one more.

Tess: I'm afraid to hear.

Zack: Look, when Reuben can't handle something, when he doesn't see a solution, he just tends to walk away from it.

Tess: You mean, he might not want to see me again. Is that what you're trying to say? Why won't he let me in?

Tess: Oh, Ruby, of course I'll marry you.

Going to the chapel and we're...

Reuben: You will?

Gonna get married

Tess: Don't you know I love you? Couldn't you feel it?

Going to the chapel and they're gonna get married

Reuben: I really wasn't sure before. But w I've got a million dollars worth of confidence. She said yes!

Gee, she really loves him and they re gonna get married going to the chapel of love

Bum bum bum bum

Going to the chapel and they're gonna get married going to the chapel and they're gonna get married gee, she really loves him and they're gonna get married going to the chapel of love


Going to the chapel of love

Cass: Welcome, my children.

Reuben: Hold up. Do you have a license for this kind of thing, man?

Cass: Do you want this fantasy to continue, or don't you, wise guy?

Reuben: I want this fantasy to come true.

Cass: All right, then. Let us begin.

[Pop version of "Here comes the bride" plays]


Reuben: ...We're so happy. Aren't you happy, honey?

Tess: We are very happy.


Reuben: Excuse me for a minute.

Cass: Reuben.

Reuben: Yes. This is the best fantasy I've ever had.

Cass: Can I take a photograph of the happy couple?

Reuben: Oh, yeah. Come on. Come on.

Cass: Everybody, excuse us. Picture--picture time. Say, "cheese."

Tess and Reuben: Cheese.

Cass: Oh, lovely. You're going to love it. You're going to love it.

Reuben: Ah. How can life get any better than this? I always knew that having money was the key. I knew it.

Cass: He thinks he got the girl because he's rich, right?

Reuben: Are you kidding? That's the only reason I got the girl, man. Let me tell you something. When you're living in a 3-storey walk-up, and you can't afford your rent and--and you ain't got no future--

Cass: Yeah.

Reuben: ...Love dies real quick.

Cass: But you'd have each other, wouldn't you? Look at how good they look together, huh?

Reuben: You ain't kidding. Who said money can't buy happiness? First time in my life I'm really happy, and it took being this rich for that to happen. Man, I always knew I was right. I knew it. Everybody having a good time?

Crowd: Yeah!

Man: He thinks this is the end of his fantasy.

Cass: It's just the beginning of his nightmare.

Cass: Hi, Stace.

Stacey: Oh, Cass! Oh, my God. You scared me half to death.

Cass: I'm sorry, Stace.

Stacey: Did something happen?

Cass: I think I really lost her.

Stacey: Frankie? No. No, Cass. You've told me that before, and you were wrong.

Cass: It's not like before.

Stacey: What exactly did you do?

Cass: I tried so hard to keep her that I--I think I pushed her further away.

Stacey: Can we talk specifics here?

Cass: She doesn't trust me, and there really isn't any reason why she should.

Stacey: Did you tell her how you feel?

Cass: That doesn't matter. She deserves someone better than me anyway.

Stacey: Hey, buck up, brother. You come from good stock. Frankie will know that. Cass... did you and Frankie really, like, break up or something?

Cass: Yes, Stace. We really, like, broke up or something.

Stacey: Oh, Cass, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Really figured you two would work it out.

Cass: I realized something today. And when I--when I did, it really hit me.

Stacey: What was it?

Cass: I realized that Frankie's better off without me.

Stacey: Come on. You're being way too hard on yourself, Cass.

Cass: No, no. It's true. It's objectively true. Who would have thought? But she's this ethical, principled person and I'm just not. She'll be much better off without me.

Stacey: So, what are you going to do?

Jamie: All set?

Vicky: Hilda's just putting on Steven's snowsuit.

Jamie: You know, that little boy's face lights up so bright every time you see him.

Vicky: Oh, we kind of like each other.

Jamie: Yeah, I can tell.

Vicky: Jamie, I feel really sick about jumping down your throat before.

Jamie: Oh, you mean that totally irrational outburst in front of Stacey before?

Vicky: That one.

Jamie: Ha ha.

Vicky: I just heard some really disappointing news today, and it just kind of upset me.

Jamie: Your parents?

Vicky: No. Actually, they're still totally screwed up. It was something else, but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm going to go get Steven.

Jamie: Well, I'll go with you.

Vicky: Jamie... when is Amanda coming home?

Jamie: I don't know. Why?

Vicky: Just curious.

Singer: When I see you smile I see a ray of light oh I see it shining right through the rain yeah when I see you smile yeah, I can face the world oh you know I can do anything when I see you smile oh, yeah baby, when I see you smile smile at me

[Glass breaking]

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