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House Favorite Quotes

by Bridget

House-isms and Quotes

Season Three

"Inject him with cortisol.  The guy'll be having sex with his wife again!  He'll hug his kid again! Hopefully that was the combination he was using. Be a shame if I cured a pedophile." (Meaning)

"Is this an intervention? It's a little late since I'm not hooked on drugs anymore. I am, however, still hooked on phonics." (Cane & Able)

House: The lab results came back. The lab cannot identify the metal. Said it might not even be terrestrial. Chase: Really? House: No, you idiot. It's titanium. (Cane & Able)

Ezra: Dr. Chase said my calcium was normal. House: Hmm, we call him 'Dr. Idiot'. (Informed Consent)

House: After that look, I'm feeling a little frisky. Looks like you're up. Cuddy: I'm ovulating. Let's go. House: The frisky, it went away. (Lines in the Sand)

Tritter: Last nurse you made fun of probably slipped some crap into your coffee. House: Uh, I asked for decrapinated coffee. (Fools for Love)

"Aw, c'mon. This isn't because I was speeding. It's because I'm latino." (Fools for Love)

House: Who knew bloated and bitchy could actually come in handy? Cameron: Shut up! (Que Sera Sera)

"This conversation is over, because I've officially run out of clever things to call this guy." (Que Sera Sera)

Wilson: What are you doing down here? I thought you usually had lunch with Coma Guy? House: This is Vegetative State Guy. He's better company. (Son of a Coma Guy)

Cameron: Nice cane. House: (winking) If I know what you mean. (Whac-A-Mole)

"You know what else shuts down systems? Death!" (Finding Judas)

"It's just wrong! Let's cure her with sunshine and puppies!" (Finding Judas)

Foreman: You stash your drugs in a lupus textbook? House: It's never lupus. (Finding Judas)

House: I'm certainly curious about the logistics. Cameron: House! Maddy: Pretty much he'd lay flat and spin me. Abigail: Mom! (Merry Little Christmas)

Maddy: Being different, you get used to people's idiocy. It still beats the hell out of actually being an idiot. (House smiles) What? House: Care to go for a spin? (Merry Little Christmas)

Maddy: Are you high? House: Higher than you. (Merry Little Christmas)

Tritter: Merry Christmas. House: And a happy 'go to hell.' (Merry Little Christmas)

Cameron: House, I heard you apologized to Wilson. House: Detoxing. I didn't know what I was saying. (Words and Deeds)

"I told you never to call me while I'm on trial." (Words and Deeds)

"You could throw a dart at all the adjectives between 'arrogant' and 'unhinged' and I'm sure you'd hit one that describes me." (Words and Deeds)

Doctor: He swallowed a magnet. We gotta cut it out. House: (to the kid) How old are you? Kid: Eight. House: And he swallowed something stuck to a fridge. Darwin says let him die. (One Day, One Room)

House: Perjurer. Cuddy: Felon. (One Day, One Room)

"Who's here for a runny nose? (a couple of people raise their hands) It's a cold. It will get better. Go home!" (One Day, One Room)





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Updated 8/11/08  


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