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Y&R Top Ten List
Ten List #6
Suggestions for Diane & Ashley in
Choosing Names for their Babies
1. Make sure that whatever you decide, if the child
is a girl, give her a girl's name and if the
child is a boy, give him a boy's name. Otherwise your
child may be embarrassed when he or she is enrolled in a gym class
of the wrong sex. Take my word for it people,
it happened to me. Also getting a draft notice
when you are 5 months pregnant is a sure fire way to get back
at the local draft board.
2. If you are uncertain about a
certain name, imagine yourself at the child's
graduation, and the announcer is saying your
child's whole name. Picture the poor child when the announcer says Archibald Bruno whatever or Taj Mahal whatever.
I was there, people, and the poor boys were
almost laughed off the stage.
3. Give your son or daughter
no name further down the alphabet than M. That way, they may stand
a prayer of having a hurricane named after them and can brag to their friends.
4. Don't give your child a name with
over seven letters in it. When you go to cross
stitch their name on something or try to arrange more
that this many letters on the back of a shirt, you will know what I am saying.
5. Try to find out what the most
popular name is for your region and avoid it
like the plague. Unless you want your special child to share his
or her name with half of the kindergarten class.
6. Make sure the initials
don't spell anything that you wouldn't want your child called. If you use the last names Abbott and Jenkins, you may be
safe from this.
sure that the kids can't rhyme a poem with the name you choose, like Chester the molester.
8. Spell the name like a sensible
person so your child won't have to spend the
rest of his life spelling it out. If you choose
Sharon, don't spell it Sharyn or Sharryn. Most people aren't even going to know what that is.
9. Watch out for the dreaded
nicknames. If you don't like Beth, then don't
name your child Elizabeth. If you think that you
will be able to keep the name in its full form, you are wrong. I
have found that Christopher is the hardest
name to keep at the full form. It has too many
letters for most forms and comes out looking like Christoph.
10. Most important, do not call your child Little
whatever. In no time at all, Little whatever
is going to be bigger than his namesake and he will hate
Bonus rule: Make sure that the first
and last name do not make an embarrassing
name. If your last name is Bell, don't name your daughter Jessa.
Think about it, Jessa Bell.
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