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By Kris J

Cassie danced her way into Springfield on a spangle and a G-string, stripping her way across every table top in town, tossing her golden ringlets and enticing gentlemen into her web. Yes, she's the so-called "stripper with a heart of gold" and just like in the movies, Cassie would eventually find her prince. But alas, the things a girl must go through to get that crown.

Cassie won our hearts in her romance with Hart, fighting off the evil Dinah to win her man. She, again, tugged at our heartstrings when she won back her baby girl, Tammy, from Foster Care and kicked Tammy's Dad, Rob Layne, to the curb! And, come on, what heartless soul didn't shed a tear when it was revealed that the poor little lost stripper girl, really did have a family, and was drawn into the warm and loving bosom of the Shayne clan. Yes, little foster-girl, turned stripper, had finally gotten what she had wished for. A family.

But, the fantasy had to end sometime and soon enough, our golden girl had her hands full with our resident evil vixen, Dinah Marler. Cassie fought like the alley cat she really was to win Hart's affection away from Dinah, but what she didn't know was the terror she had released when crossing Dinah. Dinah too was raised in foster care and circuses across our nation, and this spitfire wasn't afraid to get down and dirty. And so it goes.

In the end, Goldilocks beat Ms. Marler, but Dinah had the last say when she gunned down Hart, in an attempt to snuff out Cassie. Our girl, of course, was devastated, but soon enough, she moved on, as strippers do.

Soon enough, Julia met Richard Gere, um I mean, Cassie met Richard Winslow, yeah that's it. Cassie met the "Prince of her dreams" in a little burg called San Cristobel, where her sister Queen Reva, had reigned many moons before, while suffering amnesia, (but that's another story). Any whoo, Cassandra was wooed by the charming prince and whisked away into a life of fantasy, ruling her own country. Along the way, she adopted a child from Richard's half brother Alonzo, made enemies with Richard's brother Edmund, and convinced Richard that Springfield was the place to be. (All the cool kids live there).

So, we arrive in Springfield, where Prince and Princess flit about in fantasy world, casting their sugar-coated love on all who surround them, building a perfect family unit and loving hearth and home.  Until, tragically, the Prince is struck down in the prime of his life, and our poor humble Sister Goldenhair is once again consumed with grief and ready to give up the fight.

But alas, soon comes along another bed to warm our Princess Promiscuous up. Yep, you guessed it, the Prince's evil brother, Edmund. (She really is Reva's sister, keeping it in the family) So, demon turned debonair Edmund and ex-Princess Cassandra hit the sheets in a mad frenzy in an attempt to rid Edmund of all evil. But, some things are insurmountable even for our favorite hooker, I mean stripper, and soon Edmund returned to his evil ways and Cassie was once again sleeping single in a double bed.

So, fast forward to the present. Are we really surprised that this sashaying, table top dancing, clothes ridding, ex-hooker turned Princess is now sleeping with her sister's husband. Not really! But let me tell ya this, my friends, Cassie thinks Edmund was evil, she doesn't know evil until she's tangled with big Sis, in a fight to the death for the love of Joshua. Me thinks that Reva should book a room next to Roxie in the mental ward for Cassie of the Curly hair, lock the door, and never look back.

Just my opinion....

The opinions in these articles are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The TV MegaSite or its other volunteers.

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Updated 1/19/07



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