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The Bold & Beautiful Article

B&B Opinion Article

Space Bug’s LA Buzz

Column #7

September 29 - October 3, 2003

Lines of the Week:

Sugar to Shelia: “You lied to me!
Nick to Sugar: “Can you believe that?”

Deacon to Macy: “Are you in any pain”
(God he is such an IDIOT!)

It was a very, very sad week in LA, and on the island that no one has ever heard of. (Sad for two entirely different reasons, if I may say.) Can I ask right now for everyone to please say a prayer for my Macy? Even if you don’t like Macy, please, pray that she’ll pull through, just for my sanity’s sake...I CAN’T LOSE HER AGAIN! I’ll have no one left to watch this ridiculous show for. Wish along with me that she’ll recover long enough to break up with Deacon and get back together with Thorne...that’s all I’m asking for it really too much?

Ok, we’ll get to that later. What was I subjected to that made me sad? Believe me, there was a plethora of things. First of them was the fact that this whole kid napping plot is A WASTE OF MY TIME! Ok, I’m all for having Shelia reek havoc, but as long as it’s realistic havoc; this is just a stupid attempt to shock us. The only thing that I’m shocked about is that this has even been attempted to be done. First of all, there is no way that Sheila could make this happen. I mean, the story about the ward helping her is conceivable, but very un-Shelia.

But I will say this plot has gotten much more entertaining with Nick on board as captive number 2. Let’s face it, who wants to watch Ridge by himself for that long. Nick is much more entertaining. And I’ve finally figured out what I like about him, and what I think his big appeal is to the fan base: As we watch our beloved B&B, or at least when I watch, I’m always screaming at the characters “why did you do that?”, or “this is so dumb”, or other comments along those lines. I gripe a lot about the “cheesiness” of certain aspects of a plot. What is so great about Nick is that he is an actual character who calls out the stupid things that are happening, in a sense, addressing the viewer’s disbelief as his own. For example, all of his smart-assed remarks are totally things that I state, or ask all the time while I’m viewing. For example, his making fun of Sugar’s name...believe me, I was all over that from the second that I heard it. Or my line of the week, when Sugar couldn’t believe that Shelia lied to her. His little sarcastic comments make the show so funny! Yes, in a way, he debunks the seriousness of the situation, but it makes the over the top drama easier to watch.

Another thing that made me very sad this week was the wardrobe, hair, and make used on our leading ladies. Let’s go in alphabetical order, shall we...that way it won’t look like I’m all out attacking Brooke... I’m sorry, but B comes before M. Ok, what is up with that tank top that she is wearing? Those ropes have got to go... they look like an extension of her hair, thus making it look stringier than it already is. And speaking of hair, I love KKL, and I think that she is one beautiful lady, but someone needs to re-think her hair and its length. It looks great when she has it curly, and it’s ok when it’s totally straight, like Amber straight, but this air-dried in between thing that we had going on in the bar scenes wasn’t very good. I understand that it was probably to make her look more realistic, and I’m sure that the climate would do that to it, but, please, don’t do that again. And on to my Macy. First of all, WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS UP WITH THAT EYELINER? Oh my God! Now, as I said in the recap that I wrote for that episode, I love black eyeliner, and I use it myself, and I’m sure that I make black eyeliner faux pas all the time, but nothing compares to how the make-up department made her eyes look like they were lined with a Sharpie. Not good friends, not good at all! For stage purposes maybe, but a business meeting...I DON’T THINK SO! Oh, and what was up with that shirt she was wearing? I liked it, but it was just a little low cut, wouldn’t you say...especially when she leaned over the table. If I may quote myself, the shirt was screaming at the top of its little shirt lungs; “I have boobs and I know how to use them.” (I’m sure that Deacon enjoyed his view...PUKE!)

And while we’re cricizing wardrobe, let’s jump a little ahead to the “diva” dress...CLARKE...GET DESIGN LESSONS FROM ERIC IN A HURRY! In my opinion, this is one reason why Macy should have stayed married to Thorne...who wants to wear a Clarke Garrison design when you can wear a Forrester Original? I have thought this through, and Macy’s wardrobe has gone down hill big time since she broke up with Thorne. Must I drag up the nightmare that was the mermaid wedding dress? Oh good God! And the sad thing was that Clarke said that he’d been working on that for years! Do we all remember the beautiful blue dress that Thorne sent Macy to wear to his parent’s wedding; all be it, she was only in it for a complete two seconds before that moron Lorenzo made her take it off. Now that was a beautiful dress... un-like this garbage that Clarke has been giving her... the thought was nice, but I would treat that as a “thanks, but no thanks”, and have Eric Forrester on my speed-dial. And the pony tail? Save us all! Ok, so when Bobbie was donning hair extensions before the car accident three years ago, I was all “hurray for the hair extensions”, because I thought that they did look very good. But this pony tail totally made her look like “I dream of Jeannine”. Let me just say: the last time that Brad tried to kill my Macy, she looked beautiful, wearing that really pretty light pink strapless dress, (obviously not designed by Clarke... it was probably a Forrester actually cause she was still married to Thorne at the time), with her cute curly hair extensions. It was a great “last picture of Macy”. But if she dies now, and I have to remember her wearing the “diva” dress with the Barbara Eden pony tail, I’m not going to be very happy...I will be even more upset!

Now, on to more pressing matters. I really think that all of my readers should pitch in a buy me a years’ supply of barf bags...the kind that they have in airplanes so that I can have one on hand every time that I have to watch Deacon and Macy make out or have sex. (Hopefully my need for barf bags will decrease, but I’ll let you know). That was just sick! IT IS TORTURE FOR ME TO WATCH MACY OR THORNE WITH OTHER PEOPLE! *Bridge fans, I now know, understand, and appreciate how hard it was for you to watch Ridge with Taylor for all of those years. Oh, and let’s comment on the necklace that Mr. Sharpe gave Ms. Alexander. It was a very nice thought, but it goes along the same line as Clarke’s dresses: “thanks, but no thanks”. Ok, it looked like something that he won out of a grabber machine while he took the kid to the arcade. So not cool dude, so not cool!

And perhaps the saddest part of all of this week: THERE WAS NO HUGGING OF THE THORNE! MACY HUGGED DARLA, BUT NOT THORNE! WHY WAS THERE NO HUGGING OF THE THORNE? I WOULD HAVE HUGGED THE THORNE! WHY DIDN’T MACY HUG THE THORNE?! Ok, while she was hugging Darla, it looked like she was giving Thorne a look that said: “I almost forgive, and I would hug you, but my current and insecure husband is standing right over there”, but that was not good enough. THIS COULD BE HER LAST CHANCE TO HAVE HUGGED THE THORNE, AND SHE DIDN’T TAKE IT!

Ok, it is now time to discuss the “show”. Bobbie certainly has great pipes, doesn’t she? Although, I almost fell off of my bed when she started singing Carol King’s “I Feel the Earth Move”... I was not laughing at my precious Bobbie, but at the shear irony...come on people...”I feel the sky tumbling down”? Ok, maybe it’s the English major in me, but I found it hilarious. And I hate “The Greatest Love of All”, but Bobbie sounded a hell of a lot better than Miss Whitney. If I have to hear, I’d take Bobbie’s rendition any day over that of Ms. Houston. (I’m not knocking Whit; she’s a great performer, but I LOVE BOBBIE OH SO MUCH MORE!). And might I say Macy: When an object comes falling down upon time...TRY TO GET OUT OF THE WAY! DON’T JUST STAND THERE! And Thorne...ever the quick one...HE WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE. HE MADE LIKE HE WAS GOING TO DO SOMETHING, AND THEN DIDN’T...ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUSH HER, BUT HE DIDN’T! Why do you ask...CUZ HE’S A MORON!

But, speaking of morons, no one takes the cake more than Mr. Sharpe. I can not believe that he asked Macy in the ambulance: “Honey, are you in any pain”... please, someone needs to tell me that I heard that wrong, though I think that it’s doubtful. No Deacon! She doesn’t feel a freaking thing! A CHANDELIEAR ONLY FELL ON HER HEAD! She feels great, never better! HE IS THE BIGGEST MORON EVER! Ok, as far as stupid idiots go, Deacon is really giving Ridge a run for his money here.

Again, in closing, let’s say a prayer for my Macy, and hope that she comes out of this OK. I know that she’s not everyone’s favorite, but please, keep my sanity in mind...I can’t lose her twice! That’s not good... and I can’t lose her when she’s not married to Thorne, or wearing a not so great outfit! I can’t even take the fact that I might be losing her again seriously because it seems so unreal...I JUST GOT HER BACK, DAMN IT! So, all I’m asking is that you keep my precious Macy in your thoughts...perhaps the fact that I’m asking you to pray for the well being of a fictional character is the saddest part of all...LOL!

The opinions in these articles are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The TV MegaSite or its other volunteers.

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