As The World Turns Best Lines Monday 6/23/08

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Jack: No. You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?

Brad: What, do I have to make an appointment to see my brother?

Jack: Oh, yeah, it's a shame. I don't have an opening for a couple of months, so --

Brad: I get it. I get it. Last night didn't so well, right? I mean, Janet's a little too uninhibited for you, right?

Jack: You know, I was just reading a letter that Sage wrote me from camp, and while I was reading it, I was trying to remember how it felt to be in grade school. And thanks to you, I remember.

Brad: Okay, you know, and I need to be blunt here, okay, that you have had a string of failures in the romance department. Your ego is shot. Your self-confidence a dim memory --

Jack: What did I do to deserve this, Lord?

Brad: Clearly -- listen! Clearly, you have issues with dynamic, spirited women like Carly and Katie, and Janet is more of the same. And, yes, it is important for you to get back up on the horse after you've fallen off, but with a gentle mare, not a high-spirit thoroughbred.

Jack: Yes, I know. I know. Maybe you should prescreen my dates -- make sure I don't date anyone outside my league.

Brad: Come on. We both -- we know you don't have a great track record compatibility-wise. I just don't want to see you getting hurt again.

Jack: Bull! You just want to make sure that you stay the main man in Janet's life, even though you're already married.

Brad: If you want to blame me for your sad life, you want to make me the bad guy, go ahead. Do that. You know, I'm used to it. It must have been cold there in my shadow.

Jack: Oh, Brad. Good Lord. Brad, I know you find it flattering that Janet seems so into in you, but --

Brad: Flattering? No, seriously, Jack, it's a burden.

Jack: You really don't see that she's trying to build a relationship with you to make things easier on liberty? She wants a family for her kid.

Brad: I wish that was it. I wish you didn't have to sell yourself that bill of goods.

Jack: You being so self-aware and everything --

Brad: You want to talk -- let's talk truth here. Okay, let's talk truth. You've always been jealous of me, all right? Which makes sense, of course, but as your brother and as someone who really cares about you, going after Janet's a no-win situation. She's just not that into you.

Jack: What, she's just hanging out with me to play with your head?

Brad: Good. That's a start. That's a good start.

Jack: Brad, is there anything in the history of the world that you don't think is all about you? Honestly, you probably think that china and the Dalai Lama are vying for your attention.

Brad: Dolly llama? Who's she?

Jack: Okay, the truth is you don't want Janet focusing on anyone but you.

Sofie: You gave Meg Snyder details of my personal life -- things I told you in confidence -- and now she is using them against me.

Mike: I told Meg where you went to high school. Most people don't consider that information confidential.

Liberty: Parker, I'm not kidding. Like, some of those shots -- it looked like you actually planned them.

Parker: It's okay, Liberty. You can state the obvious. I was awesome.

Jack: Parker, come on over here for a second.

Parker: That's my dad. I should go see what he wants.

Liberty: Okay, but -- but first, you really should do everyone a favor and take a shower.

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