As The World Turns Best Lines Thursday 6/28/07


Provided By Eva

Brad: Can you hand me that channel lock?

Katie: If you say please.

Brad: Wow.

Katie: That'll do. What's a channel lock?

Brad: I don't remember.

Brad: Relax. I never miss a party. Especially not one honoring me.

Katie: How did this party get to be about you?

Brad: I'm the reason the ratings are up, aren't I?

Katie: You're still thinking that?

Brad: The ladies tune in because of me, don't they?

Noah: Maddie told me you guys have a history. Sounds like oil and water.

Gwen: Or gasoline and matches.

Jack: I missed you, too. Come on, I spoke to what? A couple of hours ago.

Katie: I know, but now I'm seeing you in person.

Brad: Somebody get me some insulin.

Katie: Well, I wouldn't be so sure about that. We're just going to be talking about fashion.

Jack: I'll put it on mute and I'll be staring at you anyway.

Katie: I can live with that.

Sal: You partnered with an out-of-town developer on that project, didn't you? Simon Frasier?

Carly: Um, yeah. Yes, but I've worked with a great many people right here in town -- Craig Montgomery, Barbara Ryan, Lisa Grimaldi.

Sal: And if I wanted, say, a little grand larceny done? Whom would I contact?

Carly: I beg your pardon?

Sal: The wonderful thing about the internet, ms. Tenney, is it doesn't discriminate. Along with that list of references, is a long list of felonies -- fraud, assault, breaking and entering, trespassing, grand larceny. Should I go on?

Carly: No. I think that covers it.

Sal: I'm sorry, but working with you seems like it might be more trouble than it's worth.

Aaron: Are you serious?

Alison: What? It is a cow pasture, right?

Aaron: It was dark. What self-respecting cow wanders around in the middle of the night? They're all in the barns. They're all snoring.

Katie: Here, just keep that on your hand and the swelling should go down by the time of the party.

Brad: It's good because people are going to, you know, probably want to shake my hand. But, hey, you know, that's what happens when you're the hottest guy in the room.

Katie: Actually, jack's going to be at the party, so that would make you --

Jack: The second hottest guy in the room.

Brad: Whoa, brother was that a joke? The good humor man is in the building! Whoa!

Jack: Whatever.

Brad: Oh, my bad. The good humor man has left the building.

Brad: You're the one that said that, you know, this party tonight was about our show and not you and me personally.

Katie: So?

Brad: So how professional is it if you have arm candy when you're supposed to be schmoozing the execs.

Katie: Don't worry your pretty little head, I know how to handle myself. Besides, jack isn't arm candy, he's my boyfriend -- or my date.

Brad: I'm sorry, well, is a date -- is that a step up or step down from boyfriend?

Jack: Okay, you realize you're talking to the intellectually handicapped.

Brad: Well, it's something she started to say, jack? I'm just trying to clarify.

Katie: You know what, brad? Don't you get sick of always being jealous of your brother?

Brad: Jealous? Me? Why? Would you tell your girlfriend not to get her panties in her twist? I wasn't trying to upset her.

Craig: Come on now! Who is using who here? My wife has admitted that another man is her lover! I am setting aside my ego to finance a search for him. Now what is in that for me except humiliation?

Holden: A get out of jail free card!

Katie: Like I would ever take advice from you.

Brad: You should consider it.

Katie: Not if this house was on fire and you were handing out buckets of water.

Brad: You're not upset about that jerk, are you?

Carly: Do you know him?

Brad: I've met him 1,000 times. He's every boss that's ever fired me. Total idiot.

Carly: He's an idiot. I'm a criminal. Which one of us gets to pick up a paycheck at the end of the day, huh?

Brad: The price of being notorious.

Brad: Okay, okay, don't get touchy. I'll behave. You look hot -- by the way. Rap sheet or no rap sheet. You could rob a bank by gunpoint and, you know, I'd still hire you.

Carly: To do what exactly?

Brad: Anything.

Carly: I'm not job-hunting anymore, so --

Brad: How about volunteer work?

Katie: It's just there will be a million photographers and press people.

Jack: Is it my profile? I always thought I took a good picture.

Brad: So what are you going to do? You're going to go back to an empty house and you're going to put on some old lady slippers and sip beer and watch infomercials on cable?

Carly: I suppose you have a better idea?

Brad: Yes. Come to a party with me. Come on! Come on, come on!!

Carly: No, no, no I'd much prefer the infomercials and the cold six-pack.

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