As The World Turns Best Lines Monday 3/6/06

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Provided By Jennie

Secretary: The judge will see you now.
Will: Um, Judge Colby, thank you. Thanks for seeing us.
Judge: Steve. Or Judge Steve, if you want to be formal -- or try and kiss up to me. Ah, the rebel. Or the kiss-up. Which is it?
Judge: Okay, so that's it for my state-mandated checklist. There's no physical abuse in the home? Ms. Norbeck isn't pregnant? There's no immediate danger to either one of you that is eliminated by getting married and getting you out of a hostile environment?
Will: I guess not.
Gwen: Wait, wait. My mom did poison herself and frame Will for it.
Will: But that doesn't really count now. And besides, my mom had you set up for jail time and got you fired from your job. She's still walking around. You know she's going to try that again.
Gwen: Yeah, but that doesn't count as physical abuse, does it?
Judge: Wow. Clearly my state-mandated checklist has a few gaps.
Judge: You may well hate my guts in ten years.
Gwen: Why?
Judge: Because you'll be having your 10th wedding anniversary before you're 30.
Will: Yes!
Judge: Or you'll be bitter and divorced a half-decade ahead of schedule. And don't send me a card if that's the last one.
Maddie: Okay -- this is, like, the most important day of their lives. And yes, they can do it over again. But it will never be this moment. So it needs to be more than just words. It needs to be, like, a whole ceremony.
Judge: You're smart. And I bet they never listen to you.
Maddie: I'm the shortest.

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