You probably thought I dropped
off the face of the earth, didn't you? Ha-ha! No way! How can
I abandon this cause? If I don't tell of the atrocities in the
Land of Soaps, who will speak for the people? (HEE-HEE!)
Enough jesting, it's time to
get serious.
Our journey begins with General
Hospital, and it's going to be a sassy journey indeed!
First off, is it just me, or is
it almost blatantly obvious that Alexis killed Alcazar? Or if
she isn't the murderess, she was there that night? Whatever
happened to the good old soap days when the viewer was truly
in the dark about the outcome of a mystery?
Nowadays, the viewer can place
bets on the outcome of a storyline and there'd be no losers!
The way Skye looked at her in the precinct interrogation room
when she was trying to remember what she saw that night was a
dead giveaway! Or maybe it was the panicked look on Alexis'
face in the same instance? Oh, puhleeze, spare us the
force-feeding! You either have the makings of a mystery or you
don't!
Then there's the mobster
madness. First off, Jason is still ticking me off. Is he not
tired of playing the Little Gopher Boy for Sonny Bonnano-
Corinthos? Who the heck is Sonny to tell Jason that he can't
be in love with Courtney, even IF he thinks he's protecting
his little sister?
Which brings me to my next pet
peeve.
Sonny is using the sibling
relationship as a smokescreen to cover up his need to control
people and things. Now I have a few questions for the
Goodfella wanna-be...
How is being in love with a
mobster any more dangerous than being the sister of one?
Sonny's logic is truly twisted. He forbids the romance because
it will put Courtney in danger, but being her brother won't?
DUH???
And then there's Tattoo
Princess, who is becoming more annoying by the episode. She
seems to try and force people's respect, (I did say
"respect", not PRO-tect!), which no one cares to
give her. Her harem of protectors never want to hear her
suggestions, they dismiss her tantrums, and she has become a
buttinsky, sticking her nose in other people's love lives when
she cannot establish one or maintain one of her own. Her own
love life has been established with recycled or unavailable
men, which she had either deliberately enticed or indirectly
attracted with her uncanny knack of needing to be rescued.
Jax, that sniveling weasel!
He's wooed and booed Skye, cruelly insulted her, dumped her
like yesterday's trash, and now he wants to resume his role as
her protector with platonic modifications? BUZZ OFF, brawny
surfer boy!
Ned, the new mobster in town.
GIVE ME A BREAK!! Why is it that all of these so-called mature
adults, (with Ned insisting on being a father to Baby
Kristina), spend their time on concocting revenge schemes
rather than focus on what they're going to do to be good
parents to a child who is spending the very first weeks of her
life fighting to actually HAVE one outside of the Neonatal
ICU? HELLO??
How much better an example is
Ned going to set than Sonny as a father, when he's not only
LOOKING for a war, but he's doing the very thing that he's
supposedly protecting the baby from?
HELLOOOOO??? WRITERS??? Do you
guys actually THINK about the contents of your storylines
before you sic it on the world?
And Elizabeth...
Do I detect a hint of the
Scorned Woman? What was the purpose of racing to tell Sonny
that Jason and Courtney were together other than to be a
jealous B*****? Come on, people! She used to have a lot more
class than that!
She needs to cut her losses and
hook up with that gorgeous hunk Rick!
Nikolas needs to grow up and
stop acting like a spoiled Cassidine. It's so obvious that the
writers have run out of fresh ideas ever since Marissa Ramirez
left, but they have to honor the contracts, so......
Are you ready for Llanview?
I may have said this before,
but since it's still bugging the HELL out of me, I'm saying it
again...
Once again, Viki has pitched
Natalie into the lion's den in order to embark on a Save
Bratty Jessica quest. She was willing to risk her life to FLY
IN A SNOWSTORM to London because Prissy Girl was having a bad
brain day. Umm, excuse me, but what the HELL is CLINT there
for?
Natalie and Cris are literally
HIDING to save their lives, and she wants to go hold Jessie's
hand because she just discovered that she's been snubbing
Natalie for so long when in actuality she isn't the rich girl
she thought she was? Whatsamatta, Jessie, can't handle being
the person who is on the
receiving end of the paternity
shame?
How does it feel to know that
you were a cruel snob who treated another human being like
trash when you thought you were the Buchanan socialite? By the
way, how does that Crow taste?
I'm all for a mother being
worried about her child, but there comes a time when you have
to make a decision as to who needs more of your time. The
writers have continuously written Viki showing favoritism to
Jessica even though they try to camouflage it with equal love
for both her daughters.
Yes, Jessica was the only
daughter that Viki knew for 20 years, but when Viki made the
decision to accept Natalie and love her, she accepted parental
responsibilities in its entirety to Nat as well.
I'm happy to see that Nora has
dumped that loser. For those of you who also read my recaps,
you may have remembered me saying that if anyone believed
Troy's explanation that sleeping with Loonsey was the
"only thing he could do" to keep her quiet, come see
me because I had a bridge to sell you. Well, I'm happy to see
that Nora won't be a buyer!
MY GOSH! How long did it take
the writers to realize that pairing up Nora with COLIN'S
IDENTICAL TWIN was clandestine, to say the least??? I was a
little disappointed with the way she dumped him in as she was
more upset with WHO he slept with rather than the act itself,
but hey, whatever works!
I am totallllllllllly enraged
with what they've done to Todd and Blair. Sam was never a
suitable match for Blair, and just as they make it all right
again, they throw a monkey wrench in their own operation. What
is this, a soap opera viewership insurance scam?
Deliberately throw in a twist
that you KNOW will tick off the fans, then file a DAMAGED SHOW
claim and collect the insurance money?
Jeez! Put out a fresh storyline
and stick with it!
Anyway, that's all for now,
folks. Tune in next week.
