All My Children Best Lines Wednesday 6/15/11
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Provided By Gisele
Cara: Why are you dressed like the Unabomber?
Tad: Nah. I'm just a little nippy today.
Cara: Oh. Hmm. Because I saw people wearing T-shirts and shorts today, but --
Tad: I suppose I got thin blood. What can I say?
Cara: Yeah. Or you're hiding something. Yeah? Maybe? Just a little bit? Just a little bit. What's under there?
Tad: Opal wanted to help me out a little bit, so I made the mistake of agreeing with her. And then the mailman came --
Cara: Ok. So what happened? Oh. Ooh. Ouch. My goodness.
Tad: Yeah, "my goodness" is just par for the course for this one. So go ahead. Laugh. I deserve it. Face it: You're married to a middle-aged Smurf.
Cara: I -- I personally loved your hair color.
Cara: This, though? This can be just, like, a touch funky, even for me.
Tad: I think this is a little funky even for a rodeo clown.
Cara: So, really, why did you do it?
Tad: Because you're -- I'm somewhat older than you are, and I figured you'd be a bit more comfortable going out with me in public if I looked more like --
Cara: Cookie monster?
Cara: Was that good? Thank you.
Tad: Right in there. You're lucky I didn't go blonde.
Cara: I'm sorry. I got to get a photo of this.
Tad: No, no, you're not. Come on, you got to give me a break. It's humiliating enough. I was kidding about the photos, ok? I need to find a way to make this better, like, now.
Cara: Ok. I need to find sunglasses, like, now.
Tad: Again with that? Yeah. See what you did there? That's --
Cara: Ok, I'm sorry. I'm done. On a serious note, the thought behind it was very sweet. Completely unnecessary, though. Ok? Oh, forget the camera. I've got this image seared in my head forever, baby. It brings out your eyes.
Jake: Holy haircut. What happened? What -- what happened?
Tad: Bad hair day?
Jake: Really. Understatement. Big understatement.
Tad: This is serious. I look like a jerk. I look ridiculous. What do I do? If I'm stuck with this, should I -- can I cut it off? Should I cut it off, completely change my look? Guys do that, the Bruce Willis?
Jake: Yeah, I'm trying to imagine that, and the picture's not developing very well. Why did this happen? What happened?
Tad: It's a long story, ok? Let's just say I was shooting for salt and pepper, and I ended up with blueberry jam.
Jake: Uh-huh. Hey, maybe Opal could help you.
Tad: Opal's the one who caused it.
Jake: Oh. Ok.
Tad: Last I heard, she's gone into Witness Protection.
Jake: Right. Before you take your clippers to it, I would seriously seek professional help if I were you.
Tad: Why do you think I'm talking to you?
Jake: "Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a veterinarian."
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