All My Children Best Lines Wednesday 3/2/11


Provided By Eva

Tad: No. All right, Amanda, do me a favor. Would you grab us a pen and some paper? Cara, there's another bottle of champagne in the fridge in the kitchen. We're gonna need it. Brother of mine, a word, s'il vous plait?

Jake: Your fiancée is Mexican, not French.

Tad: Listen, you do know you have to be in the wedding, right?

Jake: Sure. What's a party without me?

Tad: I'm being serious. We can't do anything about your history with Cara, but it's supposed to be one of the big moments of my life, so my brother has got to be there.

Jake: Right.

Tad: I'm counting on you for a lot of things: Believability, legitimacy, not just flower arranging and crowd control.

Jake: Flower arrangements -- that's my specialty.

Tad: Jake, you're not going to be my best man

Tad: Jesse doesn't know it yet, but I'm gonna ask him to be my best man. I figure if I got the chief of police standing up there with me, Trumbull won't ask so many questions.

Jake: That's clever. That's smart.

Tad: And best man is a -- it's a classy job, and you steal food.

Jake: What? No, I don't.

Tad: Last Tuesday, middle shelf, chili cheeseburger.

Jake: Was that yours?

Tad: And the fries. And you owe me money.

Jake: I owe you money?

Tad: December, Sixers-Bulls. 50 bucks ring a bell?

Jake: Hey, detective, gambling's illegal.

Tad: So is marrying your ex-wife to keep her in the country. I love you more than anything. But you're a degenerate food stealer, you're unreliable, you're irresponsible, and you're constantly hungry. I can't have a guy like that standing up with me on the big day.

Jake: I'd have turned you down flat anyway. Who stands next to their brother while he marries your ex?

Tad: Exactly.

Jake: Exactly.

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