All My Children Best Lines Monday 12/22/08


Provided By Gisele

Jake: Stupid, stupid holiday. "Gifts? No, you're not going to get gifts. Have you seen the economy? Do you listen to the news? I'll give you candy, and not to the overweight people in society, no. Just the skinny --"

Greenlee: Yo, Santa.

Jake: What do you want? What?

Greenlee: An imposter.

Jake: No, listen. Don't harass Santa, ok? He's had a crap day.

Jake: Look, I still win, ok? My life sucks a lot more than yours does.

Greenlee: Well, then why don't you get out of that red crazy suit, and let's go Scrooge together?

Jake: Because "Scrooge" is not a verb, my dear.

Greenlee: Do you want someone to be miserable with or not?

Jake: All right! Ok! Fine. But if anybody shows up for more past, present, or future ghost-wise, you know, we kill them. You with me?

Greenlee: I'll hold them down, you hit them with your sack.

Jake: All right. Let's go do shots of poison, and we can throw olives at anybody who doesn't see Merry Christmas the way we would like them to.

[Greenlee chuckles]

Greenlee: That's the best offer I've had all day.

Greenlee: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

Emma: You're not Santa.

Greenlee: Sure I am.

Emma: Santa's big.

Greenlee: I shrunk. When Mrs. Claus threw my suit in the dryer, I was still in it.

Zach: You should see the boys. They're so excited to open their presents. There's a few boxes for you, too. I told them to wait. Told them to be patient. That's what Myrtle taught me, or tried to teach me. Be patient. And we'll have Christmas together, and we'll have New Year's together. We'll have our lives together. Just got to be patient.

Taylor: You're not being noble. You're not being brave. Now you're using this to hide from me, to hide from the world, to keep from taking responsibility for your life.

Brot: You know what? You need to accept it and leave me the hell alone.

David: That's all I want. No master plan to steal his soul. Just some time with my grandson -- with Babe's son, which we both know she would want.

J.R.: No, Babe didn't want that. You in Little Adam's life is the last thing that she wanted.

David: I have every right to see my grandson.

J.R.: Yeah, about that. My New Year's resolution -- find a way to send you back to hell.

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